Thursday, September 16, 2010
I realize where I am in my life at this date and time. I tell you I have had this anxious feeling for a while and it is not as jubilant or as great as people may think it is. I can not complain about my life and the way it is at this point, but it seems that after I made a decision to voice my frustrations and took a stand on figuring them out and facing them, I have had a huge weight lifted from off of my shoulders. Not only is my standpoint an anxious feeling, but it is one of wonder and a little of fear. I am usually in tune with what my next move whether large or small will be…such as going back to school to earn my PhD, or buying a house, but something in me has said stay put and just wait. Something inside me has said just be patient and do not move too swift.
I recognize this feeling and disposition as being at the “crossroads”. This is not a bad thing, but my analytical mind is trying to figure out what to do with uncertainty, when I don’t need to really do anything. See how confusing that last statement was? I also feel that if I do not do anything about my “crossroads” dilemma that I might be missing out on something. You can’t miss what you never had right? I suppose that the former is moot. I deduce that I am at peace with the way things have been going as far as my situation is regarded and where it is headed. What I will be doing in 6 months I have no clue. What I will be doing in 1 month I have no idea. All I can do is continue to do what I have been led to do…be patient…and not move too hasty. I have to continue to pray as well, that always helps! Let’s do it!
I Love You, But God Loves You More!