Consider what is said to the most eligible professional, single person in the age range of 25-36...
"You are a great guy/girl and any woman/man would be lucky to have you, but I am not your type."
Maybe you have heard this one...
"I don't think I can live up to the things that you may want me to. Just look at you, you have...(fill in the blanks of all that you have that the other doesn't) and I am not on your level. I feel you could do better with someone that is not me and more like you."
For the sake of completeness how about this oldie but goodie...
"Why would you want a man/woman like me? I am nowhere near as accomplished as you are."
The latter excuses or reasons for not wanting to date someone or even taking a relationship further may have been heard by you (I know I have heard it) and may have you wondering did you just open a can of Jerry Springer show buttering up, just to get let down script, from someone that you think is relationship material. Yes it is crazy but true...you have made decisions for your life to improve it, and because you have made decisions concerning your education, financial stability, transportation, clothing and shoe selection, enunciation and pronunciation of the English language, someone does not want to continue to get to know or date you.
It has happened and continues to happen to me. I was taught at an early age to be an educated an responsible man. It was instilled in my being to have a goal that I should reach and maintain a style of living that can and is respectable. I am sure many individuals for the most part have been told that hard work and sound decision making will pay off. I am quite convinced that a healthy regimen of creating goals and working towards them will create a portfolio of success that you can be proud of...even if others aren't.
Living in the Washington D.C. metropolitan area for the past seven years have taught me that in a dating capacity, all of the aforementioned will not help you get anywhere with those who you may have a romantic interest in. It has been noted that as a male living in this locale that there is a greater number of single ladies to my disposal and that I should be having a great time meeting the multitudes of women that are "single and ready to mingle'. That is to the contrary. I have said it before and I will continue to exclaim...There is quantity. but not much quality! It is similar to the saying that everything that is good, may not be good for you. Or we can even go as far as mentioning that too much of a good thing may be bad for you. Sufficed to say, I think I have become a career dater. The faces are different, the lines are the same, and the result doesn't change!
I am still trying to wrap my mind around the concept. It is like a game of tennis, table tennis, ping pong, point and counter point, dating Tick Tack Toe...you can always respond with proper reasoning to their statement of denial for continuing something viable with you and then, you respond with a great counter move all to end up deadlocked and for the most part, you are the one that ends the relationship, giving that person what they want...because you are tired or feel guilty.
So let's play a sample game of Dating Tick Tack Toe...
"X"- You have a Bachelor's and Master's Degree. I am not as educated as you.
"O"- Just because I went to school does not mean that I am smarter than you. We can enhance each other's life with the experiences we have learned.
"X"- You drive a nice/nicer car and have nice/nicer things. I am struggling just to make ends meet.
"O"- It is not about money or possessions. Everybody struggles to get what and where they want and even still, you have to struggle to maintain it.
"X"- I have a child/children, you have more freedom than I do and well I am sure you don't want to be tied down with having to deal with my schedule of finding a baby sitter and all of that.
"O"- You told me you had a child/children when we first met. I haven't gone anywhere so why are you bringing that up now?
"X"- I have a lot of issues and baggage that I am still getting through. Look at you, it seems that you don't have any. Why would you want to mess with me?
"O"- Everyone has baggage! What do you think I have arms for? Everywhere I have traveled, by air, land, or sea I have seen people with baggage. Some people have more or less, but we all have baggage. I don't hold that against you.
"X"- Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with a man/woman like me?
This is the point in which the game is "cat"! No more moves to make because no one wins!!
You really have tried to be diplomatic about it and just try to change the subject, or harvest the crop from the seeds that have been planted in your mind that this person is not what you thought or hoped that they were. It is really sad...the disposition from it all that once again you have wasted your time on someone that has made you feel guilty and out of sorts for being a productive, tax paying, non-convict, educated, working, citizen in society.
What say you?
1. Why has the aforementioned scenario become a common practice for those within the dating age range of 25-36 (especially in major metropolitan areas with young professionals)?
2. Has the "I" generation of I-Pods, I-Pads, I-Phones, created a situation that people are scared to deal with reality of life and yet frolic and thrive in a virtual world?
3. Would it be better if I did not make choices to better my life and become someone I don't want to be for the sake of being in a productive relationship? If so, is that healthy in the long run?
I Love You But, God Loves You More!