Thursday, September 30, 2010

So You Call Yourself Daddy, But You Are More Like A Biological Contributor!

The contents of this blog may disturb both the men and ladies in this situation. I feel that since I came from a single parent household, and was a victim of my biological contributor’s ( or father’s) irresponsibility to an obligation (that being me), that I have the right to speak about this issue. In addition, I hope that anyone that reads this particular blog has a new perspective about owning up to responsibilities of any variety since it is a gift and honor to be able to create another human life.

For the guys…

Gentlemen, you are not taking care of the children that you help to make! It is ridiculous that ladies feel the way they do after a night of fervor and missing their menstrual cycle that they really could not depend on you IF she got pregnant. It is awful that they say the latter in conjunction of wondering if they could even count on you to do right in a relationship! This is not funny anymore. Men have this attitude that as long as they pay “what the court” says they should pay, that the men are doing some type of service to a child that he helped to produce…that night, day, and evening, what have you! Do not expect for someone to give you a pat on the back when you do something you are SUPPOSED to do!

Let me come from the scientific and statistical perspective that is not widely in use for you to understand what I am conveying. There is NO guarantee that a man is able to impregnate a woman. There is a 50/50 chance that a man will be successful...whether on purpose or not. In the case that a man gets a lady pregnant it is a 50/50 chance that the child will be a boy or a girl. Moreover, there is a 50/50 chance that the child will be born without any defects. The odds are in limbo, and it is a MIRACLE that a child is born with no serious defects, with the mother surviving, and with few complications.

There are many men out in the world who would love the opportunity to produce children, and have tried various ways medically and otherwise to do so and not have their dream of producing a child fulfilled. There are men that adopt and accept the child even if that child is not biologically theirs. These men gladly and willingly love a child that they did not generate genetically.

Why in the hell (from the blessings that “biological contributors” have been given to be able to impregnate a woman and produce a healthy child) would you not take care of it? This has nothing to do with taking care of the lady, but taking care of the child that you as a man have been blessed to produce. It has gotten to be too common these days that a man is more concerned with stocks, cars, businesses, clothes, status, money, contracts, screwing other women, etc. that they feel a monetary check will raise their child…that a child support check will love their child…that a child sustaining payment is equivalent to hugging their youngster…that a court ordered child support payment is equivalent to cheering their kid at a sports event to urge and support the child. When did a payment or a monetary check become the substitute for child rearing? It is ludicrous that the lady is not only standing there with a positive pregnancy test, and the broken condom to go along with it…because a man…a “biological contributor” is too damn lazy to do anything but get hard, come, and roll out of the scene!

For the ladies and the guys…

Children deserve a lot more than an imbursement to be molded into human beings that have more self respect and dignity than their “biological contributors”. I feel it is an indignity and a crime that this continues over and over and over, and that SOME ladies continue to allow the trend to define their children, the father’s (I use the word “father” loosely) of their children, and ultimately themselves. If both men and women make better choices in whom they decide to sleep with then some of this chaos would not ensue. Primarily, men need to act like men in word and deed and take care of what is theirs. Don’t be upset or surprised if someone else decides to take care of your child…or if your child, when that day comes, decides to NEVER take care of you!!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Monday, September 27, 2010

SEX...A weapon of mass destruction!!

Many people like to converse about “weapons of mass destruction” and like to place sex in the same category. Imagine a couple that has had a big argument, and one of them chooses to withdraw on sex because that is their way to get revenge. BIG MISTAKE! Most of us like sex…place me in the category of people that enjoy it to the utmost. Is it the Scorpio in me...I guess so. I digress. I believe that if you place that much emphasis on sex, and that the person you are with is that dumb to entertain it, you will not have a great, sustainable, and valuable relationship.

Sex IS overrated. Yeah I said it. A man has said that sex is overrated. Don’t let someone else tell you that it isn’t. If sex was so important than it would not be sold (for such cheap prices) or given away by others for free. Sex would not be downgraded to a lady or man walking the street of the “bad neighborhood” giving anyone who drives by the opportunity to “pay to play” in a cheap hotel, van, car, dumpster, etc.

You as the equal party of the bond, set the “going rate” for sex. If you give it up faster than the change hits the bottom of a parking meter, then it is not that precious to you. It is just another “weapon of mass destruction” to gain an advantage over someone. The latter is true whether or not you had sex with the person the first night you met them or the 456th night that you went out with them!

Continue to use sex as a weapon that and see what happens. Don’t feel that it is a gender related issue. There are men that use sex as a weapon as well as ladies. These individuals do not have any capacity to have a correlation based upon genuine concern and admiration. A relationship based on complimenting the wants (non-sexual) and desires of a person. Interactions in which they are enjoy giving of their heart and soul…rather than their sexual organs and sexual fluids that are expelled. Get with it everybody, if you want to destroy something that is built, throw the grenade of sex into the relationship foxhole and see what happens. You will not only hurt the other party or faction, but you will ultimately hurt yourself!

What say you?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Can your potential mate do these 2 things?

Amerie released a song a few years ago called “1 Thing”. It is a jam and I love it (Especially the video...she is a hottie!!). I wish there was a male version called “2 Things”. I don’t ask too much from a woman. I don’t ask for sex or presents. I do not ask for money or for her to pay any of my bills. I do not ask a lady to let me borrow her car or for her to come to my house and clean it for me. I won’t ever ask for those things because I can take care of myself. Isn’t that what a man is supposed to do? Isn’t that what a responsible adult (notwithstanding gender) is supposed to do?

I have read many descriptions to illustrate a woman as being “good”. I am sure we have all heard the spill that she or he may say that she or he is “good”. They will say “I am a good woman/man!” These individuals will swear up, down, left, right, north-northwest, south-southeast that they are “good”. It is from my experience that these self indulged “good” men and women are stating and living a farce. I only ask a woman for 2 things in a relationship…time and honesty!

Allow me the time to get to know a lady and spend time with her. How do we inter-act when we are alone or our in public? Is her attitude the same or does it switch? I feel that the time aspect is important. IS the person that you want to consider someone as your mate a person that will willingly give of their time when you ask them to? This goes beyond the “booty call” hours of the night and early morning. Think about that the next time you ask a potential mate to go out, chill, or hang out.

Some people do not ask for honesty and they wonder why they are fooled or not clear as to where they stand in a courtship or relationship. Ask for honesty! There is nothing worse than going into the situation of getting to know someone and the reason why something did not work out is because YOU did not ask for the person to be honest. That also means that YOU must be honest. Do not ask for something in a courtship or relationship that you do not bring to the state of affairs.

IF these self-righteous “good” men and women are so “good” why can’t they do two simple things that I ask for? Why can’t they do the two simple requests that I am sure that THEY ask for? Is it because they do not have the fiber to ask for something that they think since they are so “good”, they do it anyway? Are they more in love with the thought of being so “good” that others who try to mate with them will automatically think they bring the time and honesty aspect to the forefront? I am not sure what it is, but I know for a fact that “good” people do not have to prove how “good” they are. It is obvious! No questions have to be asked…but it is always good to make sure you are asking for what you want, rather than to ask for what you expect!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The Winter Boo Sweepstakes!!

The fall season is soon approaching and the weather will twirl from hot, to comfortable, to chilly, and then to cold! We all know in the dating world and dating scene what that means. It is time for…”The Winter Boo Sweepstakes”!

When the summer flavor approaches its end, there is always an influx of men and women that want to get their cuddle on as well as their guaranteed Thanksgiving feast, Christmas gift, and New Year’s Eve “Box Spring Boogie”. It is not a surprise (at least to me) that those men and ladies that were not as attractive in the warmer months become the sexy trigger in the colder months. I find it fascinating. Why does this happen? Why is it the same cycle every year, every season, the same occurrence?

What say you?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

GO 49ERS!!!!


I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Don't go on "The Biggest Loser"! Try my weight loss plan!!!

Set the stage for this. You have numerous contestants that apply or whatever process is used to determine their eligibility to appear on a show that will essentially help them to lose weight. I am guessing that they leave their employment, either bring their family or leave their family, stray away from their homes for months to appear on a television show that will for all intents and purposes help them to lose the weight that they have been trying to lose for years.

When these people appear on the show they compete to see who has lost the most weight. This competition is done either on an individual or on a team level. There are prizes and perks given to those that reach and over achieve their weekly goals of how many pounds lost. This motivation whether it is health, money, competition, wearing the clothes they have always wanted to wear, sexual attractiveness, etc. is the motivation behind their weight loss.

Are you kidding me? I have been over 400 pounds and the only motivation I had to lose weight was that I did not want to die. It was not a factor of money or the thrill of competition that motivated me. This type of show was not even thought of back in 2000! I remember when I watched the show for the first time. I saw these overweight and obese individuals walking up an escalator that was going down. They continued to walk for hours on end, until they were not able to move anymore. A winner was deemed and then they received a prize and great laudatory remarks from everyone in attendance. I can’t clearly recall but some were on the escalator for at least 3 hours and it was for a monetary prize or an all expense paid trip. This bothers me because there are plenty of obese persons on the planet and in the U.S. that I am sure have applied to be on this television show, and were denied for whatever reason. Next, why entice people and try to increase ratings exploiting the struggles that these individuals and families have had with weight loss? Have we really reached that low?

If I could produce a pilot television program just like this show that I am speaking of, that all could learn from my tips wherever their locale, I would change the way people were selected by choosing at least 100 people that were no less than 50 pounds overweight per television season. If you follow my plan wherever you live, I am sure you can adapt it to your locale and be successful! I would then take them to New York City, maybe on the outskirts of Harlem and have them live in a home. I would then tell them that they can eat whatever they want whenever they want. There would be some rules regarding this such as:

1. You must leave the house by 7:30 AM EVERY morning.
2. You are not allowed to take a cab to go anywhere.
3. You must walk everywhere you go.
4. You must drink as a minimum 200 ounces of water a day.
5. You are only allowed to take the subway as transportation.
6. Everywhere you go must be at least 50 stops away from Harlem
7. You must visit at least 3 museums or attractions a day from all boroughs.
8. Fundamentally you must WALK WALK, WALK, and WALK, EVERYWHERE!!

I can almost guarantee you after 2 months of this; you will see the pounds melt off of people that happen to follow my proposed plan. I don’t know but it seems that this type of action would get these folks losing weight with the quickness. Take that television program in question!!

What are your thoughts?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Keep on walking, in your HEELS!!!!

I will not deny my hate for flops! Yes flip flops and sandals of any kind. I have a friend that wears what I call her “battle sandals”. They look like she is a part of the Greek army and about to go fight some war! I always tell her that I will not be seen with those hideous looking things on her feet. She gets away with it telling me her feet hurt and on and so forth and that they are comfortable when walking to and from the subway. That explanation I can understand, so I said just buy a pair of walking sneakers! RETIRE THE BATTLE SANDALS!!

I also hate flops. They are shower and jail shoes to me. I have been to amusement parks when people wear those ugly things and the soles of their feet are just dirty and filthy. Then these same filthy feet people want to get on the water rides…YUCK! I will not ride the water ride, or go into a pool with people that have been walking ALL DAY (or night) with dirty feet!

I had to get the latter out of the way. Now that it is gone let me explain my point.

I am sure I am not the only man that enjoys a woman walking in heels. Ladies, stop telling men how much they hurt your feet and such. STOP IT! We men deserve to see you looking and walking in your best at all times! Truth be told, heels are much better for your feet and back than those tacky ass sandals and flops, but I digress.

I enjoy seeing a sexy, professional, sassy, chic, woman walk in heels. (I don’t like seeing the “my feet hurt walk”…but it is funny!!) I have another friend that transforms into her beautiful, sassy, switch that ass walk when she is wearing her heels and secretly when she walks like that, it turns me on! I think she knows it but I don’t say a thing to her about it. I am sure many men are turned on either overtly or covertly by women walking in heels, but why in the ham sandwich must you ladies wear those damned flops and tacky sandals ANYWHERE and especially to the club out of all places? I saw this action done recently when I went to a club and I almost chocked on my Corona! LOL

All I can say is that IF ( and that is a very big IF) I get married, I will give my wife a credit card account that I will pay for in which all she can do is buy heels and purses (yes I know they must match that is why I added that stipulation). She had better not buy food or a damn drink with that card. It is for the aforementioned and that’s it! I can not have my wife walking around with a shoe game that is not tight. She can fund her own clothes and such, but the shoes and handbag, I will make sure that is paid for!

What do you think?

Should men take an active stand to make sure that his woman wears what the man and woman both like?

Men, would you do this for your wife?

Ladies, is this request of leaving the flops and sandals alone a legitimate request?

What say you?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

LADIES...Stop being stubborn and listen to your friends!!!

I wonder why many ladies put themselves through the B.S. they say they do not want to contend with with regards to relationships with men. Friends both male and female have advised a lady person to leave a no good man alone. They have advised that the man is not for her.

The man in question has told the woman that she is immature, silly, nosey (when asking about his discreet phone calls and whereabouts), bothersome, etc. She still calls him and answers his phone calls, asks her friends for advice and she gets pumped up with confidence and determined to leave the man alone...only to go right back into the same rut of messing with a man that has said and shown that he does not want her...(well maybe want her for sex and sex only)!

I do not understand when all of that has been presented and is plain to see, why a woman would continue to go forth and recycle the pain over and over again? Sooner or later the cycle will end in more pain and anguish than it was in the beginning.

So the question I ask is this...why do you do ladies (for the most part) discount the good and sound advice from friends and elect to endure the wrong doings of a man that ultimately has no concern for her?

I love You, But God Loves You More!

Friday, September 17, 2010

The Adonia Effect!

I remember that I was as scared as I could be coming from a world that was not corporate into a world that is corporate. I came from working in a classroom and a lab, to working into an office setting...including gaining my own personal office, not a classroom/lab. I met up with Adonia in Chicago early last year and I tried to play it cool about my new job and the opportunities/responsibilities that I had just earned. I told her..."I did not know how to handle it". By "it" I mean the money aspect, the corporate card, and basic business "world" and "acumen" regarding the new employment I earned.

When we fast forward to the present, it seems like it was ages ago that we were in Chicago. That fear of "it" has subsided because of the "Adonia Effect". When we were in Chicago I was acting cheap and frugal! I will admit I was very worried about my finances to the point of being damn near crazy. Adonia happened to remind me that you get what you pay for, and that I should not deny myself experiences and learn how to assimilate into this new corporate life. I think she has done a very good job. I am still the frugal person that I have always been (or should I say fiscally responsible?), and I have learned to treat myself and that bills will always be there to pay, savings were meant to be spent in the long run.

I have realized that you get what you pay for. I have realized that good food, that is fresh and prepared with meticulous diligence will cost money (and not have any seasonings on the table). So I owe that to her. She in a matter of a few days broke me out of the habits that I had formed being an underpaid teacher. So here is to you Adonia...a glass of Moet in a plastic cup! LOL Okay a crystal wine/champagne glass!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

Get Me Bodied!! What does it do to you?

I went to a party last night and (in fact I want to include all parties and clubs that I have gone to) and they play Get Me Bodied! I don't know what happens, or what entity takes over their body, but the ladies dance in a way that is so damn invigorating. I am not the biggest Beyoncé lover (her body, looks, and music), however she did do a good job with this particular song. I have seen women of all shades and shapes just get wicked when they dance to this particular song.
I wonder if someone could compile a video that displays what I am talking about.

If you are a lady and you are reading this, please chime in and tell me what does this song do to you?

If you are a guy reading this, am I right about this song?

I have included the video so some of you ladies can dance as you read this entry! LOL

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Want to borrow some money? Try this method...

The best method to borrowing money is to not borrow or lend it at all. I do not know why people like to ask me for money but I will say no. If they are my friend I will say no. If the person is my enemy of course I will say no! If I do not know the person and they ask me on the street corner I will say no! I do not know why people ask their friends for money FIRST knowing that it can ruin a friendship. I know me, if I don’t get my money back; I am taking them to Court, no questions and no hesitance from me. I will do it in a heartbeat. I will save my friendships by not lending out or asking to borrow money.

Take a look at this a little further and you will see what I mean. Someone may ask you for a $300 loan. Now this person is $300 in the hole and asks you to lend them this amount to get them out of the hole. Consider the following:

o When will the person pay you back?
o How long will it take them to pay you back?
o What frequency will the money be paid back? Installments? Lump sum?

These answers may vary, but they are critical to your saving your friendship.

Let us consider another option. We have seen the numerous commercials for pay day loan establishments that will lend almost any amount to someone that has a job. Why does the person requesting the money not go there? Consider this:

o The requestor must provide a pay stub, physical address, banking information, etc.
o The requestor must pay the loaning establishment the money back PLUS interest in a lump sum.
o If the requestor does not pay the loaner the money back, they can garnish their wages; pursue legal action, etc.

When you look at it, it would seem that if a person wanted to borrow money from you that they might be trying to pull a fast one or try to fool you. I don’t know but it does look odd to me. I would rather sustain my friendship and not loan the money than to risk it and potentially end a friendship because a loan was not repaid or paid in an un-agreed, slowly paid fashion.

There are other ways to look at this; I just chose the few that I have encountered. What would you do?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

The Crossroads!

I realize where I am in my life at this date and time. I tell you I have had this anxious feeling for a while and it is not as jubilant or as great as people may think it is. I can not complain about my life and the way it is at this point, but it seems that after I made a decision to voice my frustrations and took a stand on figuring them out and facing them, I have had a huge weight lifted from off of my shoulders. Not only is my standpoint an anxious feeling, but it is one of wonder and a little of fear. I am usually in tune with what my next move whether large or small will be…such as going back to school to earn my PhD, or buying a house, but something in me has said stay put and just wait. Something inside me has said just be patient and do not move too swift.
I recognize this feeling and disposition as being at the “crossroads”. This is not a bad thing, but my analytical mind is trying to figure out what to do with uncertainty, when I don’t need to really do anything. See how confusing that last statement was? I also feel that if I do not do anything about my “crossroads” dilemma that I might be missing out on something. You can’t miss what you never had right? I suppose that the former is moot. I deduce that I am at peace with the way things have been going as far as my situation is regarded and where it is headed. What I will be doing in 6 months I have no clue. What I will be doing in 1 month I have no idea. All I can do is continue to do what I have been led to do…be patient…and not move too hasty. I have to continue to pray as well, that always helps! Let’s do it!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!