Saturday, April 30, 2011

Sexual Illusions

In the midst of sensuous, rug burn, freaky, circus sex
My name suddenly changed from Clint to Shawn at sex time check: 2:34AM!
Dick went limp in an instant! No safe word needed!
The fuck face I had turned into the famous puppy dog glare of…WHAT THE FUCK?
So then my questions…

Who the hell is Shawn?
Did you introduce me to Shawn the same way you just introduced him to me?
Who were you fucking first, him or me?
Since you said to me you weren’t that type of chick (‘cause you do have some skills), did you suck him too?
Did your hussie heifer ass use a damn condom with him?
How the hell are you gonna think of him, when I am putting in all this work for you?
How long has this muthafucka been enjoying the shit I have taught you?

*insert male ego here* --------

All I know is that there has been another man fucking you and you had the nerve to call out his name instead of mine!

Sex time check: 3:07AM
After all of my interrogation she says to me that I have it all wrong!
I asked the question most men would ask I this situation…
What the hell does Shawn have that you love so damn much?
She simply replied…
Monthly bloating
Wide hips
Plump ass
Menstrual cycle

Hot Sauce

Sho’nuff ugly, your love is sho’nuff ugly
Funkier than an old pot of collard greens
Nastier than some five day old bacon grease
Love so ugly enough for you and me
Hot sauce won’t even make is gleam
Uglier than a freak on Church Street
Look like someone’s un-pedicured feet
Sho’nuff ugly. I said your love is sho’nuff muthafugly
Every time I see your la-la and your ta-ta’s
Make me lose my high, I sho’nuff can’t deny
I would go down on you and taste, ooh I wish I could
Hot sauce won’t even make it taste good
Won’t even make a brother hard like wood
Wimpy and limply like sautéed onions
Painfully ugly like ten year old bunions
Sho’nuff ugly, I said your love is sho’nuff muthafugly
You know what…somebody’s got to love her
Damn had to add the eleven herbs and spices
Ain’t goin’ home when you’re that ugly
Got an ugly ass baby too
It’s true…it’s true
And I love her…
Yes I must say I do
I’ll let the whole world know
Hot sauce didn’t work too well
But shit, you can’t give up on Tabasco

I Love you But, God Love's You More!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Story of the Empty Easter Egg!

Marissa Granger was a brand new, fresh out of college, elementary school teacher. It was her first year without a mentor and she was completely frustrated on how the current school year had effected her. She made it through the Fall and was over the newness of teaching her 1st grade class. The Winter had arrived soon after and she was pleased with the amount of time off from work she could garner because of the holidays. Marissa was not a fan of the Winter and the flu season that fell upon her students to the point that she would adorn her desk, classroom phone, computer keyboard, and her student's hands with a generous amount of hand sanitizer. Marissa was not one who liked to become ill and she made sure not to catch anything that her 1st grade students may bring to her in the form of nasty germs. She had been waiting for the months that Spring would bring. She loved the warmer weather and that lightened her mood a bit in her classroom. She looked forward to the opportunity that the children would be able to go to recess and expend some of their built up energy.

Her students were well behaved and not that much trouble. She did have her favorites. Anthony was her sweetheart! He would always pay attention and obeyed the requests she asked him to complete. His grades were not the best, but his 2-front-teeth-missing smile was something she adored. He would compliment her and say she smelled like apples all of the time. Marissa could count on Anthony saying something to make her day bright. LaKeisha was another of her beloved students. Marissa thought that if she ever married and had children that she would love for her daughter to be just like LaKeisha! It would be Marissa's "mini-me" or her princess. LaKeisha would always know the latest songs and would sing them as she would walk in the classroom in the morning. LaKeisha tried hard to dress like Marissa in some form or fashion and Marissa thought it was sweet. She would let Marissa know that she wanted to sing to her all day, and that she loved her favorite teacher Miss. Granger. LaKeisha would be devastated if she was not able to get her Friday afternoon hug and her "Good Morning High Five" from Marissa!

Although Marissa had her favorites and her not-so favorites in her class, there was one student that she was not too fond of. Not to say he was belligerent and mischievous in her class, but she was concerned about his demeanor and inability to be like as they say, "the rest of the kids". Justin was developmentally challenged and required a little more attention than her other students. Justin was soft spoken and did not say too much to any of the kids in the class. He was a loner of sorts. He was not picked on by other students, and they did treat him kind and did not recognize any of his flaws. He did not speak as fast as other students, and had a little trouble getting his words out, but he was a beast on the playground and was always chosen first to play different games. Justin loved recess time. He knew he could run free and play with some of the kids at school that he knew better than the kids in his class. All in all, Marissa was frustrated with Justin's performance in class and his average grades. She wished she could figure out how to better his performance and had tried many different methods. She was reaching the point of hopelessness with Justin.

Since her favorite time of year was here, Marissa had an idea for an interesting "show and tell" project that would be a hit! She decided that she would purchase Easter eggs for her students to place what they thought of that reminds them of the Spring. Marissa also knew it would be a great way to waste some time the Friday before Easter break and countdown the end of the school year as well as her teaching career.

The day had finally arrived. It was Friday before Easter Break eve and Marissa had announced to the class that during recess time they were to find something that reminds them of Spring and place it in their Easter eggs! She handed an egg to each student as they walked out of the classroom door out into the hallway and then to the playground oasis that awaited the children outside. Marissa sat under a tree along with other teachers that were enjoying the wonderful bright and breezy Spring day. The laughter of the children was infectious and all on the playground had smiles on their faces. Some of the other teachers asked Marissa what her students were doing with the Easter eggs. Marissa told her colleagues and received laudatory praise about her idea. Some instructors said it was ingenious, a great way to enhance a lesson, and perfect to ease the anticipation of the Spring Break. Other instructors marveled and envied what Marissa planned and asked if they could emulate her idea. Marissa had no problem with her other fellow teachers sharing and borrowing her idea. Little did they know that Marissa didn't plan on ever using the idea again for she made up her mind that she would not return to teaching the next school year!

Recess was over and Marissa got her students settled and back in their desks. She noticed the clock was nearing the end of the school day, and of course her well-deserved Spring Break! She asked who wanted to "show and tell" first. Students all had their hands raised and were loud in their eagerness to share what they found and placed in their eggs. She called on one student and he shared his finding of a worm! Worms remind me of the Spring time because they are always out after it rains. Marissa was amused, but was not happy about the worm on her desk. She asked the student to take it back to his and the children then raised their hands hoping to be called on next. Marissa then called on LaKeisha. She walked briskly to the front of the class and showed everyone her dandelion. She said that every time the Spring comes the dandelions are always on the ground and that reminds her of Spring. Marissa presented a large smile along with LaKeisha and agreed with her. Marissa called on some other students before asking Anthony to present what he had in his Easter egg. Anthony opened his egg and showed the class 3 ladybugs that he found. He told the class that the ladybugs always show up in his neighborhood when the Spring would arrive. Marissa thought it was cute and smiled. The kids were in awe that Anthony was able to get the ladybugs into his egg without hurting them. Marissa continued to call on students methodically. She purposely waited to call on Justin last. She knew in her heart that Justin would not be as impressive with his findings as the other children were and prepared to make up for his not finding something spectacular and duplicating what other students had found.

Marissa finally asked Justin to present what he found and placed in his Easter egg. He slowly walked up to the front of the classroom and smiled. Marissa asked Justin to open his egg and reveal what he had. Justin opened his Easter egg and nothing was in it! As soon as all the students saw there was nothing in it they were shocked and there was nothing but a silent room! Marissa was afraid to ask, but she did! She asked Justin how does this empty egg remind you of Spring. Justin slowly and softly sad, "Jesus's tomb was empty wasn't it?" At that time the bell rang and all of the students except Justin ran out of the classroom to go on their Spring and Easter break. Marissa walked up to Justin with tears in her eyes and gave him a great big hug. He whispered in her ear, "What did I do wrong Miss. Granger?" She simply replied. "Nothing but remind me of the real meaning of Easter!" Marissa watched the children leave and asked if she could keep Justin's empty Easter egg. He said yes and left the classroom not knowing the impact he had on his first grade teacher. It took a student that she was not as fond, a student that was quiet and reserved, a child that was gentle and not as up to par as her other students, to remind her of the true meaning of Easter! It is not about eggs and bunnies. It is not about chocolates and baskets. Easter is about that empty tomb that Jesus was not in!

Marissa keeps that empty egg that Justin had on her desk to this day! She enjoys the exercise she made up for her student's long ago and wonders what other student will show her an empty egg. Unfortunately, none of them do!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Family That Stays!!!

The Spring season is in full effect and most of us know what that entails… that’s right… celebrations that families call the family reunion! The setting is chosen and family members from all over the country are invited to have an enjoyable time and to catch up at this (for the most part) annual event.

I can remember the last family reunion I attended. There were pony rides, delicious food from all of the food groups and some new food groups that were invented, card games, board games, and yes even with some families the wonderful t-shirt with the praying hands on the front or back. Many of the t-shirts would also have the slogan “The family that prays together stays together!”. In addition, some families would visit the “home church” on that Sunday morning after the reunion and all members would sit and worship in their designated, roped off pews. Some families will take it to the next level and wear the exact same color on “home church” Sunday to show their solidarity!

It sounds beautiful on that reunion weekend how much family can care about and for each other, until reality sparks! It is quite alarming that the same type of family I just mentioned disappears in the situations of death, marriage, birth, money woes, and illness. Don’t get me wrong, I do understand that not all families are inattentive concerning the aforementioned, but there are many family units that just go away when times get rough.

I come from a fairly large family, and my relationship with my immediate family has been intermediate at best. I can recall that my mom and I were all that we could really depend on…PERIOD! Through whatever may be in the path. We usually got more concern and assistance from those that we did not know as family than those who were blood relatives. It is a shame that those that help us the most are people that have no blood relation to us. The people that show concern and actually act upon it are those that do not share our ancestry.

This blog is not meant to be negative, but to provide a positive reminder. We may have different last names, and not all have the same skin tones…but we all are family. We are fellow brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, cousins and nephews. We should all revisit the element of family and recognize that we are the only ones like us on this Earth and that one day we may need the help of our “brother or sister from another mother or mister”! Let’s not become ghost in the time of need. The very time that you dismiss aiding someone in your immediate or extended human family…don’t be too surprised when some how, some way, some day, you are denied the same aid!

I Love You, But God Love’s You More!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The White Flag

I am attempting not to character-lies how love presently defines itself to me
I propose it to be like intentionally sailing against the tide of a rambunctious river of regret
In my view I can see so called lovers throwing themselves overboard
and hearts sinking by the boat full
With no life rafts of reality in reach
Many of the passersby plot their love rescue missions like a Marine General
with the voice inflections and militant mindset of a Drill Sergeant
I am understanding now that love is solemn and then downright crazy at times
all while trying to interpret with earnest Love's language
Words...transforming into synchronized pants and moans of yearning
Coupled with facial distortions that change like the weather
It's then that I picture her lips, her face, her neck, her breasts, her thighs
just her...
I still relish her flavor and the chill I encountered the first and only time I swallowed her
Been searching for her ever since
We might have laid down for that one night, but I feel like I'm the one still standing
Lonely, like the arena after the encore
I realized that sometimes when you play exclusively
befuddling their touch as love
their embrace as affection
their kiss as confirmation
It's just a simple war game of touch and go
With rules of engagement that are meant to confuse
and we still try to make rhyme and reason out of them
So then we surrender... the conflict is over
With nothing but casualties in the end

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Investment Strategy

Anything that is worth having is worth waiting for. If you have high expectations then you have to have a large amount of patience. You can apply the latter statements to the investment strategy. Let me explain.

I look at the dating scene with a different view than a lot of others. I look at it from that "old school" perspective. I am one that believes you have to be friends with that person that you desire to be your mate. Understand that this desire is not at the forefront, it just happens. Yeah I said it!! You do not expect it to happen, it just does.

For example, I can clearly recall letting a young lady know what I wanted in a woman. It was an in depth and series of conversations that were honestly just conversations about what I wanted and also what she desired. I has no intention trying to get her to be what it was that I wanted. She at that time was not what I wanted and i was not really feeling her or paying attention to her in that fashion.

In addition, she told me what she wanted in a man to the point that she took my advice and wrote down, her "top ten" list of what she wants and her non-negotiables. The main thing is that we were JUST FRIENDS! Everyone in our circle knew that we exemplified the true meaning of the word friends. We said we would always remain friends regardless of who we might end up with and always. We were that tight. I will say that we did have our bumps and pot holes in the road, but all TRUE FRIENDS will have those arise.

All of a sudden, our friendship grew into a relationship. How did it grow for me?

One morning I was taking some pictures of her and I took them because she did not have a lot of pictures posted on her web profile, and she wanted to show off her new pant suit. I looked at them when sending them to her and I had determined that I really liked her...maybe even loved her. It was an epiphany of sorts, and totally unexpected. But of course DAMN FOOL PRIDE (Future blog) that got in the way and I did not let her know. Well to make a long story short we did get together.

The important trend in all relationships is how strong the friendship is at the outset. That is when the investment comes into play. You place time and effort into your investment to garner the best return possible. The only difference in the investment strategy for love and relationships is that it is genuine and you are not EXPECTING a return or a profit from your earnings.

What you gain is a person who loves you and cares about you. What you receive in your portfolio is more credit in and from what you have placed into your meaning belief, trust, and of course love to mention a few. The types and positions of investments will fluctuate over time. There will be gains and losses. There will be some give and take whether large or small. I can assure you that you might question your investment and might want to take your assets to another institution. I would suggest you hang in there unless there is illegal and inside trading of emotions, dispersion of lies, cashing checks of dishonesty, etc.

So what is your investment strategy? Has your portfolio been one with diverse investments coming in and out? Is it a portfolio that has not been shared by you with another? All in all the first person to invest in is you. If you don't, you will wonder why no one wants to take stock in what you have to offer!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

The Praying Mother

She closes the pages of the 23rd Psalm
It seems to be the only thing that keeps her holding on
It's hard for her faith not to change
Enduring constant physical and emotional pain
But she opts to take the one choice that erases her fears...
And prays it away

Five dollars left and her child must eat
Somehow she's able to put a meal together until she gets paid that next week
She tries hard to not let her child see
How difficult life can certainly be
Her family members talk a good game
But she knows she can't ask them for a thing
But through all the tears
The only thing that will erase her fears...
And prays it away

You could hear her sniffles in her bedroom at night
Smiling and holding you...telling you that everything is alright
Never blaming the quality of life on an absent man
When she knows she is doing all she can
Even when the end never seems near
But through the silent tears
She knows the only thing that will erase all her fears...
And prays it away

Some people may mistake the journey and call it heartache
When you have taken all that you can take
But you remember that mother
Who wouldn't rely on any other
Than her Heavenly Father...
Closer than a sister or brother
Strength that comes from her tears
Endurance that lasts from all the years
Faith that refuses to change
Knowing that it's a blessing to live through the
Come what may...
Thank Jesus for the mother that
Prays it away

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Hands and Knees

Loving you is like submitting myself to humility while on my hands and knees
Your love is like a see-saw plunging me in and out of the depths and pit of your horrid game
You solicit love like a classified ad
soliciting your love like religious tracts...hand to hand...door to door
While I am still on my hands and knees
cleaning up what you've spilled and what you bitch over
Though I have aches and pains...notwithstanding my hurt
My eyes cry
My eyes produce pure, clean, unadulterated tears
None like the acid filled, high pressured, self righteous,
sea salt filled substance that runs down your cheeks
I am on my hands and knees
pleading with love to let me go from you
Our episodes were dry and cancelled long ago
Low ratings and suppressed anticipation for the production
of lust do not touch, tantalize, and tease the channels of my desire
Picture me on my hands and knees disconnecting my umbilical cable cord from you
Imagine me hoping to be nourished by another
That gives birth to sessions of love that create
a picture show of colors and expressions that
neither Michael Angelo or Picasso could ever imagine
I am rising from my hands and knees
releasing tension from your heart's puppet strings
Knowing that your emotional arthritis stifles love
in every form and fashion
ever fathomed

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Remember Richard Crabhouse...Ode to the whore!!

The blunt was still simmering when you left the Candy Boyz

Love was spread all around...from the tips of moist fingers, to the tune of dry lips

No one ever asked about the creases in the passenger seat of the Accord or the Sonata

She said she liked the taste of Rita's Sugar Balls

Take the time for you to be doing you…like she would be doing me for the night

The car is still waiting...idling

But no one is coming over

Who's gonna make you happy?

Because she won't freak you!

Speed off but take it slow…she will do it for me!

No luck for you!

Remember the times when you and me…

We were with Pat and Ron… much like menage trios plus one

Sauced it up

Tossed it up

And said screw it.

You took her to the club...they denied it

You took her to alphabet street…still couldn't buy it

All I would suggest is that you don't try it

'Cause all of the other crew will cause a riot

Tell her...

Do you want to come easily?

Crack that Boone's with me?

As the chronic leaves burn slowly…

There is a red mark on your cheek!

I guess you won't stop asking me until you try

I want those chocolate thighs…

My head on the inside…

Doing a greasy slide…

You've been in my seat before

Stop frontin' like you haven't

It's the same black Honda Accord

The creases in the seat remember you

From your last interview

We lit it up…

Your heel prints still on the dashboard.

I Love You But, God Love's You More!!