Wednesday, June 3, 2009
This is a test...it is only a test!!
I was told that my mother is in ICU, I am trying to handle it very well, but I know that this is a test...it is only a test! Am I able to keep my faith and not panic because it is not time to panic. It is not time for me to start crying uncontrollably...because nothing has happened! My mother is pretty healthy and she does what she can to see her doctor as regularly as possible and has done what she can do to make her body as healthy as she can. I am praying for my mother...because she has always done that for me. I might seem like one of those aloof people who has no type of sense...where do you think I got it from..my mother. She is funnier and as witty as I am...I am very thankful for that...and she is a fighter like no other! It is also a shame that I may not be able to see her because of my newness to my job and the time I have vested so far. So all I can do is give it to God and let His will be done! I will make the best effort I can to make sure she is great even with the distance we are apart! This is a test...it is only a test! It is not what I want, it is not what I need, it is what God wants...and I ask Him for grace and mercy so that she is able to pull through and continue a life that is wonderful. I can honestly admit I do not want to think about not having my mother around...my rock..my comforter...my advisor...the only person who is truly happy for me at all times...and is also truly disappointed in me when I screw up! All I am saying is that this is a test...this is only a test!
The advice I gave to someone last night I am trying as well and as good as I can to uphold it and live it. It is easy to give someone else advice and guidance and not take your own words and live by them...I vow that I will. This is a faith physical fitness test and no matter what happens...I will pass it!! Fight on mommy...just like your son!!