Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Should I Be Offended?

A young lady that I met not too long ago called me and inquired of my relationship status, in which she already knew that I am single and not really looking. She proceeded to ask me questions concerning children, and of course I said that I am indifferent about it. If I got married (which I am not) I would then embark upon starting a family if my wife also agreed. So my friend then asks me if I would date a lady with children. I replied that it depended on the age of the child, how many children the woman has, the presence of the father, and some other factors that escape my mind at the moment. So she then tells me about her friend who is divorced and is looking to meet a nice guy (me nice? LOL) and that I came to mind. I then ask my friend, "Okay, so what's up with the prerequisite questions?" She then explains the following to me:

1. Her friend is divorced. (Yeah she told me that.)
2. Her friend is looking for a nice guy. (This is like the Springer show I am waiting for the rock to fall.)
3. Her friend is 33 years old. (LA LA LA..just singing in my head.)
5. The children range in age from 4 to 12. (I really stopped paying attention.)
6. She is a very attractive woman. (My ears went into a small amount of deafness.)

My friend then continues to tell me how nice her girlfriend is and so on and so forth and that she thought I would be a nice guy for her friend to get to know. I said no. I was a little pissed off by that point and just got off the phone with her. I felt offended and in shock that someone would even have the impudence to think that a single man with no children who has never been married, would entertain a situation as I have explained above.
My question is would you be offended that a friend of yours would try to set you up or consider you a match with someone that is divorced with 4 children, and you have not experienced their lifestyle at all?

I Love You But, God Love's You More!


  1. How is it a dealbreaker that the father is a presence in their lives? If anything, that's a plus - that means the woman is mature enough to remain on good terms with the father of her children, and that their father isn't some no-good slacker who bailed on his kids.

    If you don't want to deal with divorce or kids (I know I wouldn't be able to deal with four children), that's your prerogative, but writing her off for being able to co-parent her kids strikes me as weird.

    Sbould you be offended? No. I think, if anything, you should be flattered that the caller thought you might be open-minded enough to consider a date with her friend.

  2. No, I wouldnt be offended but maybe my opinion is alittle bias. I am a divorced mother of 4 ages 14,13,12 and 8. I feel that men sometimes get the impression that when a woman has children that she is either looking for a father for her kids or has baby daddy drama. But that is not always the case and in my case I have none of that going on. I myself dont think i would ever get remarried so basically me meeting someone would just be for companionship and company. To be honest i never had a problem meeting men and then when they find out I have four children still do stick around so i feel that a man shouldnt be offended when a friend tries to set him up with a woman with children he shouldn't automatically cast judgement. He should take the time to get to know that individual.