D.T.A. means Don't Trust Anybody! There was a request made as was written in an earlier blog to..."let me in"...so what happens...I got burned! This individual got the advantage of learning what was on my mind and how I felt...and then decided to tell me what the prognoses should be...how I can better be served...please... that is utter bullshit!
For the most part I am to blame to allow myself to "let someone in" and I got burned, I got screwed over...because I told the truth and did not mince my words. All people know when someone says to you..."I can serve you better as a friend." or "I think we should be friends." or "I only want to be a friend to you right now!" or "I just want to be there for you!" or "We are friends ...remember?" or "We will always be friends!" it doesn't mean shit...(especially when a woman says it to you, not a damn thing! People are trying to gauge how you feel and move in for the kill...move in for the susceptibility of your mind and heart at that time...how do I know...because it has happened to me time and time again.
Then on the same notion these people come back to you and say well, it is your fault because it happens over and over...not the case. When the moment comes when I want to let someone in...I do it. In in most cases have to be asked to let it happen because they have problem with me not being open to them, sharing my feelings...all of that stupid mess, and of course me being so damn independent.
Yes you are right I am too damn independent because I know and my mother knew how people take advantage of you when you are down and want to know all there is about you so they can use it to their advantage and BOOM...POW...they got you...shot out of the water and in the case for this person...it is literal since they know a lot about water, ships, and shooting people.
In addition to that, I am the first to say that I am not all that great looking and for many years women have settled for me for whatever reason....like personal financial gain, answers to tests and quizzes back in undergrad,because I had my own place, because I knew a few folks that could help them, because they were waiting for something better, because I was a "good time" for that moment because I try to treat ladies as well as I can friend or otherwise...
I am not insecure one bit...I know how ladies like to use that damn excuse...I am stating a fact. I am not the best looking dude and I am not the worst looking dude...I am okay...average to below average. I don't have the best body and I have worked and I am working hard to get it looking better...but when I say to a lady that yeah I know that your men in the past have looked better than me and I make the fact known...why the hell do you cower like a little bitch? I am speaking and stating the truth! Especially when you know damn well and you have said it to me plenty of times that you have many men that adore your appearance and like the way you look....yeah and also they look better than me in both stature and physical prowess...sorry I can't get plastic surgery for your ass...I am working to better myself...but me stating the facts and bringing them into the forefront DOES NOT mean I am insecure!
Don't talk that shit about how you have all these high expectations, but you have no patience! That is a bunch of bullshit that you are kicking and I refuse to go for it. I may not try to put my maturity and wisdom out there for all to see like this person does, but just because I don't, doesn't mean I don't have it and can't see past and through and around bullshit! I am not all of that on the aesthetics scale, but that all any woman has complained about in my life!
I am intelligent...a damn genius, I am independent..or as some would say, too damn independent, and I don't and won't change that! It is really easy for people to kick you when you are down! Say what you do wrong, how insecure you are, how you don't let them in, how you distance yourself, how your friends have fucking concerns, but you know damn well your friends ain't got a positive thing to say about me one bit, how weird I am, how I say weird and dumb things, how I am just the antithesis to everything you had before...but for some reason your ass ended up with the antithesis..and your ass couldn't handle the antithesis...because as soon as the antithesis let you in..you go running and not looking back...just like everybody does!
Whether it be family, friends, or relationships, they all go running but complain that I don't let anyone in! Yeah people are more full of shit that they say they are. My grandfather told me a long time ago and I thought it was the morphine, but it wasn't..."Don't trust them..they are out to get you!" I didn't know what he was talking about, nor did my mother...but every time, every time, every time, I go on and take a detour from that type of thinking...I get burned!!
I Love You...But God Loves You More!