Ladies...your biggest relationship flaw!!

I have said this time and time again and I suppose I need to make it more clear. If you want to have a good relationship or determine if a guy is into you...DON'T! You will hurt your own feelings. Ladies, you have to change your thinking if you want to be successful in your courtship. The worse thing to do is to believe that every single man you meet, that you might go out with, have dinner, go to a movie, and so on...is a man you will be with or have as your boyfriend. You can not think that way. If you had dinner with a man, just think of it as...dinner with a man. He may have an interest and you may as well, but he is not obligated to you and vice versa. Do not put the cart before the horse, if he is into you, you will know it. Do not force spending time with him or demanding more communication, those facets of friendship will progress if it is meant to be. If not, keep it moving. The main thing to keep in mind is that you should not look at things for what they could be, but rather as what they are! Do not look ahead...look at what is in front of you and measure along that standpoint. It will save you some pain and agony. It will also not waste your time!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

UN-INTENTION-ON!

I noticed your fine brown frame walk past me as I was sipping my Long Beach Iced Tea…
I will admit that you did caught my eyes again from across the room but I didn't want to stare…I know how rude that is…
But I saw the way that the glass that contained your Mohito…reminded me of me…sweating in front of you as you were about to kiss the straw for a tantalizing taste
The kissed seemed like an instantaneous lifetime when I watched you...after I licked my lips from the essence of my beverage
Was it your purpose to do to me what you did…
I truly don't want you to choke...or even disturb your pallet from its comfortable status of cool
It's not my purpose to have that affect on you
I honestly didn't know that Issaey Miyake was your favorite fragrance on a man…
But tell me how did you know that DKNY Be Delicious was my aromatic aphrodisiac... especially on you?
It wasn't my intention to craft your panties to look like the shammy from the car wash on Richmond Highway.
When was the last time your panties were that wet?...soaked?…super saturated?
The last time was probably when you did your laundry…but I am sure it isn't water that has made them as soaked and as wet as they are now!
It wasn't my intention-on to have on a shirt that was open slightly to show a peek of my chest…(and a little hair too)
I didn't know you enjoyed that…but then again I was just taking a sip of my Long Beach Iced Tea from across the room.
I assure you that it wasn't done maliciously...really it wasn't… to have to wonder what was in my mind when I caught that peek of you… and these several peeks thereafter
Tell me...
Did you ponder about my intellect…could I please you with my mind…could the dendrites in your brain exhale from a man that can…and definitely will…challenge your thoughts…and yearn for your tongue to contort and speak…
ears itching to listen to sweet sounds of knowledge…from an educated black man…(we are in abundance sistas?)
I wonder how many college courses did you grace with your opinions and sense…
What do your co-workers say about you and the way you smile even when someone gets on your damn nerves… as you say sweetly and lightly under your breath…I wish a muthafucka would!...or…I'm about to take of my stilettos and shoe whip a bitch!
I also wonder about you as you take another sip…
your body moving and swaying in a syncopated motion to the music
making me rise and want to explode inside of you…
Did you think about the way I held my glass as I sipped my Long Beach Iced Tea?...Did you mentally take a measurement of my hand…Did you try to look at the length and width of my fingers…would it fit tightly inside of your…"glove"…
Would it provide for you the satisfaction
Imagining the way I held the glass would be the way I would hold your ass when you would sit on my lap?
Did you consider whether or not my arms were comparable in dimension, to the length of me...would it be able to penetrate deep inside of you to the point that every movement up and down…in and out would… touch your sexual faucet ever so slowly and make your juices, your pleasure…your purity rain on my wand?
Damn I wish I could be the straw in your Mohito right now…(imma leave that alone…but you get my drift)
Sexiness in all aspects is what I can say about you...the curve of your shoulders…the glisten in your gloss (keep it poppin')…the curves of your breasts…the definition of your ankles…smoothness of your thighs…the streaks of color in your hair…the taste from your oven…your olive garden…your natural elixir…
It was un-intention-on to make your nipples harder than Vector Calculus…as I purposely took a long sip of my drink…and lick my lips...looking at you hoping if you knew that I could taste you in my drink…or so I wished to…
I yearned to take you into my shower and indulge in the flavor that dripped off of your body…I needed you to melt slightly…behold you flavor…I begging and urging you to cream…tasting your cum all over me…
It wasn't my intention to look at a goddess of your caliber at the same time I was sipping a Long Beach Iced Tea…but I did
You have to believe me...un-intention-on!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

The Answers To All Questions!

Whether you believe it or not, every question has an answer…sometimes it is not what you may want to hear, or what you expect, but all questions have answers. Consider the latter to be a thought you should keep in mind when you ask why someone does something that seems unfathomable to you or that doesn’t not make any sense (to the sane at least). If you happen to think of the question or even ask that question then you understand what my life has been like…and I do mean all of it. I have this amazing blessing that some are not blessed with (it doesn’t make me more blessed than others) I just recognize my blessings and try to make sure I am thankful for them and use them in the best way possible. I know I have the blessing of favor, but what I am also able to see is that I have been blessed with the ability to endure!
Why am I the way I am? I have seen the ugly side of the human mind. I have seen and felt first hand how underhanded and sneaky people can be. From family members lying out of their lips saying how much they love you, to a church denying you monetary help because you have not helped them monetarily. I have seen it. I have felt it. I have seen a woman used by a man just for her money and then leave when the gig was up…no more money to gain. I have seen the hypocrisy of those church going Christians. I have endured the mistakes that others make when you trust them to do the right thing, the best thing, and just walk away denying their mistakes. I have seen it, felt it, breathed it, and lived it. Yet and still I continue to endure and move on.
One of the best things that comes out of this blessing is not just the favor that is granted by God to understand and know that all will be alright after you have endured, (see Job and see Joseph) but the ability to have patience and visualize that large picture in the presence of the people that just don’t believe you can move on in spite of their negativity (see Nehemiah and see Jesus). To understand me and all that I have seen and encountered means that you have to go through the process of enduring, patience, and visualization. The aforementioned leads me to the book of Galatians and the “fruits of the spirit” which are love (got that), joy (got that), peace (getting there), patience (too much), kindness (I don’t like to admit it but I am), goodness (I try to be), faithfulness (got that), gentleness (sometimes), and self-control (a whole lot of that). I truly believe that these are the facets of our gifts and our blessings. We are prepared in different ways to attain these and when we do, that is when we know the “meaning” of our lives.
This brings me back to where I started. Whether you believe it or not, every question has an answer…sometimes it is not what you may want to hear, or what you expect, but all questions have answers. So when you have asked and thought about that question you want an answer to, and think you don’t have an answer as to why people do such horrible things…you have an answer. I will help you…just say I DON’T KNOW, but I am sure in time…I will have an answer that you will want to know!

I Love You But, God Love’s You More!

I saw "reality" and I changed the channel!

I don’t mean to do it, but sometimes I am curious because I have heard a lot about it from friends and also Facebook status messages that stem from such stupidity as, For The Love Of Ray J.(he and those women are young, dumb, and full of…), to Tough Love (your relationship is that bad you want the world to know and some fool cursing at you and telling you how dumb you are…yeah you are dumb), to Basketball Wives (rich by marriage and circumstance bimbos that have nothing better to do than be rich by marriage and circumstance bimbos with a camera recording their oh so pitiful lives), to The Real Housewives of…you fill in the city (BAFOONERY!!), to The Apprentice (don’t these people know how to retire out of the spotlight and be happy), to Bad Girls Club (Let me see, these girls are so bad that they get to show the world on television how bad they are? Pitiful!), to Survivor (…of what?), to What Chilli Wants (her washed up career back…her ass should want that)…WHO THE HELL CARES! I watched one episode and I am sickened that these people have such affluent lives in the bank account, but such sorry ass lives when it comes to living.

For example, why in the world can’t Ray J. date a woman at a time (or 2 or 3) like us normal folks do? Must this idiot have 20 women living together in a house at the same time and making them endure ridiculous competitions to find out who he wants to be his lady? Do not say he must take these measures because of his celebrity status and wealth that he has to do this bullshit. On the real, (and not hating) if he was all that great and famous of an entertainer, he would not be doing a damn reality show.

Why are these “housewives” (you fill in the city) trippin’ off of petty shit? One “housewife” is bickering because some other “housewife” said something about her and it was not true. Another “housewife” is complaining because she wants to go to Italy but there are no more first class seats. Then another “housewife” who is not married is wearing an engagement ring given to her by a man that is already married (not separated…none of that)…and she wears it with no reservation! Stupid!

Then I watched out of curiosity the basketball wives show and I am about to vomit in my mouth. They shop, drink, and talk just about…wait for it…wait for it…wait for it…EVERYDAY! They have some real issues huh…typical more money more bullshit to me.

Chilli, do you really expect to find a man when you are just as uptight, stuck up, and lost as the people who drool over your show? Go back and sing a song, make an album, make a pizza. It is awful!

These reality shows are sick to me and make me so glad I am not rich and miserable. I am comfortable, blessed, drama free, and happy. These people are just the epitome of sad. It is comical…enough to put on a weekly show. The reality is their sad state of life! I hope you can watch it and laugh I just can’t look at this crap at all…put on some cartoons and live like a kid again!!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Gender Justice

The change in gender roles in relationships is more apparent now than I can recall. There was a time in which us men were the emotional unavailable, the wall that no one could penetrate, not willing to communicate, out for sex and sex only, not willing to express our feelings, and out for just doing the bare minimum for a woman and everything for our own benefit. Those days are still here but there has been a major shift away from men towards women from what I can see. The ladies are the Players and not ashamed of it and more men are in the role of the ones who want commitment and honesty. What the hell has happened? It sounds like gender justice to me. The one thing a man (or woman) does not want to reckon with is fairness. It seems that the unruly deeds that us men were used to inflicting upon women are coming back to bite us everywhere. If a man lies to a woman and does her dirty...we should expect the same to happen to us...that is fairness...gender justice. The fairness role is in various aspects of life but I feel it is a fear that everyone has, especially in relationships. A rule I would extend to anyone who wants to be or is currently in a relationship would be the following: If it is fair that the result of someone else's actions happens to you in return...then you had better believe that it is fair if your actions make it a result for someone else!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Picking the Scabs

What does my kiss mean to you?
Does it help to ease the pain you still go through?
What visions appear in your mind when you touch the scars?
Is it an infectious stain of infatuation that you masked in the dark?
I know I may mean nothing to you...maybe just a friend
Another potential cut, a laceration that hurts with no end
If your feelings grow, I'd wish to be the ointment used to sooth
So if you label this...then I offer these directions to you
Take time to let the images fade
Let time take the anger away
Everyone is not your lover, nor do they intend
And when love is done you have no obligation to begin again
What did love mean to you?
Was it a helpless, selfless thing that you sought to make brand new?
Reminders of mistakes and hasty decisions aren't very far
Refreshed memories arrive when I touch the scars.


I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Should I Be Offended?

A young lady that I met not too long ago called me and inquired of my relationship status, in which she already knew that I am single and not really looking. She proceeded to ask me questions concerning children, and of course I said that I am indifferent about it. If I got married (which I am not) I would then embark upon starting a family if my wife also agreed. So my friend then asks me if I would date a lady with children. I replied that it depended on the age of the child, how many children the woman has, the presence of the father, and some other factors that escape my mind at the moment. So she then tells me about her friend who is divorced and is looking to meet a nice guy (me nice? LOL) and that I came to mind. I then ask my friend, "Okay, so what's up with the prerequisite questions?" She then explains the following to me:

1. Her friend is divorced. (Yeah she told me that.)
2. Her friend is looking for a nice guy. (This is like the Springer show I am waiting for the rock to fall.)
3. Her friend is 33 years old. (LA LA LA..just singing in my head.)
4. HER FRIEND HAS 4 CHILDREN - BUT HER EX-HUSBAND...THE FATHER OF 3 OF THE CHILDREN...IS STILL ACTIVE IN THE LIVES OF THE CHILDREN. (That's a deal breaker for me.)
5. The children range in age from 4 to 12. (I really stopped paying attention.)
6. She is a very attractive woman. (My ears went into a small amount of deafness.)

My friend then continues to tell me how nice her girlfriend is and so on and so forth and that she thought I would be a nice guy for her friend to get to know. I said no. I was a little pissed off by that point and just got off the phone with her. I felt offended and in shock that someone would even have the impudence to think that a single man with no children who has never been married, would entertain a situation as I have explained above.

My question is would you be offended that a friend of yours would try to set you up or consider you a match with someone that is divorced with 4 children, and you have not experienced their lifestyle at all?

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

The Box Spring Boogie

I can admit that it has been a long time since I did the box spring boogie. It is not that I can't organize a time and date to do it with a lady that I desire, but sex really has not been a priority. Work and overcoming the residue of my mother's death is more pressing, but I can admit when the hormones are raging...and the urges are starting to creep and creep into my brain and then into the rest of my physical anatomy and then it has to be released, and I will tell you that the lady that is the recipient of the box spring boogie had better tape her health insurance card to her forehead because it is going to be extremely physical. She might have to be medically cleared before she can return to the box spring for more with me. I am not going to hurt her or anything like that, but I can say that the experience will be one of a pleasurable nature and well I hope the box spring will hold up!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!