There comes a point when you realize that if you don't do something to stop the bleeding (no pun intended), end the madness, recognize and end the pain, that it will kill you or destroy you. I have made the first step today. I am very close to going over the edge, if I haven't already, so I am going to do something about it and at this point I don't really care what anyone might think...even those of you who are reading this. I understand that I am one of the smartest people in the world, yes I am a genius, but then I should be able to recognize that I can not do this alone any longer. I also realize that I am the person to blame for some of this and that I have let it go too far, so I have to stop it. I have to be the one to make the changes and make things better.
It has been years and years of of me taking it and just letting it settle in me. The it being pain, anguish, hurt, dispair, and now add anger, anxiety, and of course depression. What makes me happy? I know that music does. There is nothing like being on stage and performing. Chemistry, I hate to say it right now is not making me happy, it is something that I love dearly, but it is not helping my mental aches and pains. It is not soothing my soul as it should be...so there needs to be an intervwntion before I am no more. I might blog more often than I have in recent months...and we will see how it goes. I do know that I have already mentally prepared and made a change and what I will do on Monday puts my plan in action. So once again I say...it's time!!
I Love You, But God Love's You More!
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