Thursday, August 13, 2009

The New Leader of The Big Booty Crew!!

Five inch Stuart Weitzman stilettos clicking as you walk with your girls into the club. This was not the case years ago as you were not a part of the crew!

Flashback if you will 7 years ago, in college, biology major and no play from any other popular fellas, just the ones that were in the cut getting their career in check, the fellas that you didn’t want to date or even associate with. Yeah you were smart, had a cute face, body was okay, and you got tired of the brothers only wanting you because of your butt…as big and beautiful as it was and still is. You sought a man that wanted you for your intellect, your mind, not your body.

So you graduated that year and went on to a paid internship in an office setting. One of your friends from the “Slut Society” said that you need to walk on “Tramp Terrain” and that would be the only way for you to attract a man. You are too damn plain…too damn career minded, go out and have some fun and relax…all of this coming from a woman who would borrow money from you for rent, food, diapers, electricity bill, car payment…so her opinion was like gold to you! What’s up with your apartment, your car, your clothes, and your make-up? It is not what a woman in your stature should want and clearly no man would want you…another girlfriend say as she was sitting having more hair sown into her already sown in hair…show that ass you have a little more another girlfriend would say that would have on dresses that looked like it was 5 sizes too tight just to show off her boobs, pouch, and oblong ass. Hit the gym and tone it up sugah! Then you will see all the men wanting you!

You were extremely frugal with your cash! You didn’t buy all of the expensive clothes, shoes, furniture, cars, and so on because your parents taught you the value of saving your money and having your money work for you. But those Friday nights alone and weekends just staying in watching movies wasn’t enough for you. You would hear the stories of fun out on the town with the various men your girlfriends would date. How were they able to get these constant dates with all of these men, and not have to pay a dime? You remember the dates you had…to Friday’s, to a movie, a Go-Go concert, and realized well damn how can I get it like they have it?

You took your girlfriend’s advice and started a total transformation. Drinking the Wal-Mart diet soda was not good enough for you anymore…it was Diet Pepsi or Diet Coke that discount shit was off brand…you can’t do that anymore! You saw that you needed to change the look in your apartment. HGTV was the channel you would watch and you compiled a list of all that you needed to change in your place to make it more “modern” from the bed linen to the type of soap in the bathrooms…you changed it and your apartment was certified HAWT!

Compliments even from the maintenance staff that fixed the small and un-noticeable chip in your guest bathroom mirror! You changed your car from an Altima to a BMW 7 series of course and your wardrobe was nice and not all from expensive spots…now it is nothing but name brand from Macy’s to now Nordstrom, New York and Company to now Saks 5th Avenue, Old Navy to now Banana Republic, step up your game you heard, this must be the secret to the success that you wanted. You were now going to do what most sistas do…yeah cut your hair and then break out some new style, but you noticed that most of your girlfriends…had the best weave and hair additives to promote their outward appearance and the sista certified tried and true neck shake when warranted. You said well hell I’ll just straighten mine just a little more to accentuate my cheek bones and slender neck line.

You were all set except for one thing…flip phones were out…can’t be seen on that thing it wasn’t “smart” enough…got to get that Blackberry touch with the 5 mega pixel camera with the voice activation and free subscription to I-Tunes...make it fly like that!! Make-up…check, fragrance…check, lotion with the slight glitter tone…check, Prada purse…check…all is right and in place…time to roll to the club with the girls!

Five inch Stuart Weitzman stilettos clicking as you walk with your girls into the club. This was not the case years ago as you were not part of the crew! Now you have made it into the crew…the Big Booty Crew and look at the fellas staring at you…damn look at that ass…baby got it going on! Shawty is tight…she’s bangin’…damn fine as…damn just fine…if I could hit that ass just one time…you hear it over and over. Your girls are like damn look at all of the play and you just had to change your image baby…get that swag turn it on blast.

Doing that sexy, beautiful walk into the club and sit at the bar…free drinks flowing from here and there from almost every man at the bar to you and your girls. Offers to dance and to talk…You do that funny fake smile because you don’t see anyone who is worthy of your time. I am sorry the new time you have just garnered with the new you! Offers of phone numbers adorn your mind and you have allowed yourself to take a few, knowing you will not call…they are just not your type!

Then this fine brother comes up to the bar and sits next to you, your girlfriends approve of him…they give you that nod you have been waiting for all night…girl that’s all you! He smiles and says hello! Wait he didn’t acknowledge my beauty? You say hello back in astonishment. He asks how you are doing tonight. Wait he didn’t say what he wanted to do to me? You say you are doing pretty well just chillin’ on a Hersday with your girls! He tells you his name and then asks for yours and says nice to meet you. Wait he didn’t ask if I had a man and for my number? You tell him your name and give a salutation in return. He is striking up conversation and all of the time you are shocked...He didn’t do what you thought he would do. He is not of the mold that you are trying to attract…with all of the changes you have made you feel peculiar about it.

You continue to talk to him and notice everything that might be wrong with him…but he has your attention anyway. He has on Old Navy jeans…you don’t mess with that store anymore, but you did secretly like them. Shirt was INC from Macy’s…yeah you remember that line and it was fly, but not expensive or classy enough for you! His scent was Joop…nice cologne but it wasn’t that of an expensive amount per ounce. So you are about to write him off when he says to you…Do you know why I came over here to talk to you? You say no. He says, I can see right through you and you are not who you appear to be! One of your girlfriends I will not mention by name asked me to come out because I was looking to have a good time and just chill...and specifically meet you! She said you would be cool peeps to meet. She showed me some pictures of you and I was like she is beautiful…now I don’t know what to think, I was almost like this doesn’t look like the person in the pics. Is this one of those you looked better on MySpace moments?

You look at him with perplexed eyes. Why? ask. Because what she told me about you must be a lie...she said you were simple and just a smart lady who had not found the right one. Do you know your girlfriends envy you, because of your simple lifestyle, how you are content with just simple things that are nice, and not too extravagant? You live within your means and don’t flaunt.

I guess you look at them and wonder why they are able to do the things they do all of the time with this dude and that dude? They have tried to talk with some of my homeboys and then my homeboys, homeboys and it is all game they run. The reason they have all of those men taking them out all of the time is because they can’t afford to go out themselves. From the entire process of image consulting and changing from home to car to hair they are in debt…free clubs is what they go for and brothers that will buy them drinks…ever notice that they don’t ever buy a drink and the clubs are all free admission for ladies? Look if this is the new you then that’s cool I can walk away right now. But I have heard so much positive and uplifting things about you from your girls, and to see this? I don’t really know what to say.

Speechless you ponder about what you have done. You have changed for the plain and simple reason just to find a man and to please your friends…not to please yourself! All along you were the one that didn’t have to change…they already admired you for who you are and not what you became. It’s all true…but is it too late...or is it? Congrats to the new leader of the Big Booty Crew!!

I Love You...But God Loves You More!

1 comment:

  1. nice write that tells the truth about women who are living "the lie"...