Sunday, May 27, 2012
Humble Pie Is Not The Best Dessert!
I used to date a model and we got back in touch last year and decided to try the relationship "thing" again. When we initially met in 2006 I can honestly say that my confidence was not as high and assured as it is now. I was unsure of myself and also not very mature in my skin to actually recognize and embrace my worth. I suppose she saw that I was a very intelligent guy, but I was not someone she desired to date. Besides, she is/was a model at that point in time, I was not in her league. I was not her "pedigree". I was not someone that was as pleasing on her eyes as she was used to dating. Alright to make it more plain, I was not model material...like I am now! LOL
The year 2011 comes along and the "model" and I meet up again. I am more confident and not as self conscious about my appearance as in the past. We were intimate and not to brag but I did put it down! There was no doubt that the guy from 2006 had seriously gone into hibernation, never to wake up and appear again. During this time frame I recall she and I had a conversation concerning money and love. When asked a question via e-mail... "What she would marry for?", she simply said... she would "marry for money because there is no one who would love her". Our last date occurred (when I returned from San Francisco) proved to me she was no longer the confident model I met, but more like a shell of a person, a mass of superficial values and shallow virtues I did not want to get to know anymore. I decided to move on and she was well aware of me doing so. I am not a cash register, I am a man and I know I am a damn good guy to be with and not for mere financial gain.
Last night I received a text message from the "model". She asked how I was doing and since I am recovering from surgery I told her what I was going through. I then asked how she was doing. She told me some shocking things...
1. She had just moved out of her apartment to one of her parent's houses.
2. She is playing catch up on her finances.
3. She admits that she did not do what she was supposed to do to sustain herself in a responsible adult fashion.
4. She is still single.
The conversation moved forward and I decided to ask her (out of pure curiosity) what she would do differently so that she would not be in the situation again. Her reply... "I will start to save more money in July". I could hear my mother speaking in my ear concerning this woman. I know for myself there will come a time in all of our lives, no matter how good looking you might be, how rich, how smart, how healthy, how affluent in any part of life you might be, that you WILL BE humbled! If you are not thankful and recognize WHO and HOW you were blessed, it can all fizzle away in just a matter of time. At any instant it can all be taken away. Then and only then does that memory come into mind to bring you back and place you back into the size that you know you are. "Humble Pie", might be a hello of a dish to eat, but it is a waste if it does not digest well.
I wish the model well in her attempt to become financially stable and have the ability to love herself because of who she is and not how she looks. I also hope that she will realize that money is not the source of finding lasting and loving relationships. Money is made to enjoy the things we need and want in life. In addition, I do hope she finds a man that will love her and that she will love him for who he is and not how she can benefit financially.
I Love You But, God Loves You More!!