Your Do Do!

Your sunshades poppin' in sync with the Spring sun
Smelling sweeter than a Cuban breeze
You could walk past me any day...any time...
In my every dream or in all thoughts of my mind
You make my heart thump louder than a bass drum
Baby keep doing your do do
Keep doing your do do
I'll just keep wishin' that I'm the one you do it to
Diva is a word that I'm sure will offend you
Egolicious attitude with a sexy walk that is too smooth
Sexy thighs and hips makin' my mind take erotic guilt trips
Until I see you pass by me again
Baby keep doing your do do
Keep doing your do do
I'll just keep wishin' that I'm the one you do it to
Call it an infatuated crush if you must
But I can't wait 'til you come by my way again
Walk alone or walk with a crew of your friends
And I'll be standing there
So don't be gone for to long
Baby keep doing your do do
Keep doing your do do
I'll keep wishin' that I'm the one you do it to


I Love You, But God Love's You More!

The Overlooked Easter Story

Circumstances from the past several months have caused me to have some insight on the Easter holiday and the importance of a part of the passage concerning Easter that is often overlooked.
I was prompted to write this by what a friend had said to me and also from what God said to me. Thus, I will express my interpretation. I will say that God really pays attention to detail and as a Chemist, I understand the impact that details have upon the smallest of things.
For the record I know I am not a person of the “cloth” and that I am not one who writes sermons as a pastor would do, I just submit my thoughts on this one verse, and trust that you too will find delight in it as I did.
Easter is this weekend and most of us know the story about the resurrection of Jesus Christ on that day. But did you ever think of the importance of the following verse:
John 20:1 (New International Version)
The Empty Tomb
Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance.

I have to say that it may look like a simple verse of what was seen, but to me it is more than that. I have a tomb that I have enclosed things in my life that I need to set free. Some issues with my way of thinking that is different from most people, the difficulty I have trusting people, my reluctance to allow myself to get involved in romantic relationships, pain from lost friends and family, my health and the various occurrences I deal with regarding that, and yes how much I truly miss my mommy. But I look at this verse and Jesus was trapped in a tomb as well.

I suppose it is alright to be trapped in that tomb that some of us are trapped in. You can label the stone of that tomb JESUS because that is where he was. You can label tomb a ALCOHOLISM because some folks are dealing with that. Some people have had issues stemming from HORRIBLE CHILDHOOD, dealing and coping with those who have lost someone they love in a violent or even in a way that took their life in a shocking fashion. Label that tomb LOSS. I have a tomb that has stone labeled DIABETES. I have a tomb that has a stone label TRUST. Others have tombs that have stones labeled, FAILING MARRIAGE, NOT ENOUGH MONEY FOR BILLS, PARENTING PROBLEMS, HOMELESSNESS, GETTING THROUGH SCHOOL, RELATIONSHIPS, FINDING A JOB, CANCER, PREGNANCY, HUNGER, DRUGS… and the list can go on and on. But it says in the aforementioned verse that the stone had been removed. And when it was removed Jesus was set free and we know the rest of that story.

I know that I have some stones that have enclosed and shut in some issues in my life that I know I can't deal with by myself, Lord knows I have tried, but I know for a fact that the God that sits high and looks down low, the God the gives us tests that He knows we can pass and that has been good to us, has rolled stones away. I know that some of the stones I have may have put a strain on me and my actions…how I speak and how I live. Some are really hard to overcome, but the fact of the matter is that God is still rolling stones away to allow you and I to let it go and be free.

I can envision and hear the sounds of stones being rolled away from our own personal tombs with various labels allowing freedom and joy to overwhelm us. I know I have asked God to roll my stones away, and they have been slowly moving away to allow myself to regain the appetite that I have for life that grows each day.

Tears of joy and jubilation…and that dance that accompanies it (like they are David) will come when my friends and others that I know that are going through it finally get those large boulders away from their personal tombs. Take it from me that life can only get sweeter and sweeter when those labeled and unlabeled stones that plague your life are gone.

I would never want to have a life in which God did not roll that stone away that was labeled JESUS. God did it for His son; imagine what He will do for us! I thank God in advance for rolling my stones away!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

Fire It Up!

I think it is amazing how you realize how powerful you are. Not in a sense of muscle and strength, but from a standpoint of how your mind can transpose to someone else and what you can do to motivate others without even having the purpose to do so. I take pride in that. In a way, it is a very good quality to have. I don't ask why I have this ability to just fire others up to do what it is that they desire, but I will say that it is a joy to be able to take and apply your advice to someone else.

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

Humor

It’s like watching Woodchuck playing with Snoopy. It’s looking at a van that is cruising on the road that reminds you of the Mystery Machine and Scooby Doo. It’s like looking at a toddler trying and waddling to take its first steps. It reminds me of a funny Looney Tune cartoon…it’s humorous to me.

It’s like that time that you trip over your own foot, and then you look around hoping that no one saw you, and then act like you didn’t trip. It’s like the time that you got caught coming in the house late and the look on your face when the light turns on catching you in mid-tip toe. It’s like messing up the lines of a song…out loud…so everyone can hear you…it’s humorous to me.

It’s like wearing purple Cross Color jeans from 1993 in 2010. It’s like wearing a Triple Fat Goose jacket in the summertime. It reminds me of the girls trying to bring back finger waves and french rolls in 2010! It’s the fellas sporting the Gumby haircut or the cut with the long ass part! It’s the moment a dude finds out he walked around the whole day with his zipper down or a lady had a button unbuttoned so people could see her bra…it’s humorous to me.

What do you find humorous?

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

CYBER SEX

INTEL you upload my download I guess I won't com

I am sure that my mouse is compatible with your zip drive

So no need for a password

I said Yahoo when you paged me with an instant message

Talking about you need a hot-mail to RAM his

Cursor into your Microsoft domain

When you said that I was ready to

Start…

Log in…

And CompuServe you

It is amazing the way you Web me into you internet

As we chat you are so WordPerfect

And that alone just turns me…on

Right now you can delete

Dell…

Packard Bell

And Hewlett Packard from your memory

'Cause I want to be your Prodigy…Juno?

I want to assure you that you are the Apple of my I-Mac

So when I log-out to club Gateway-2000

You truly don't have to monitor my

Every move out of your Windows

I'm not taking my hard floppy

To Claris and working her C-drive

Come on now let's be FORTRAN

There is no need to reboot those

Thoughts of hacking into your Processor

Yes you are Pentium regardless of what I view on other screens

4.0, 5.0, I don't care…

You are my updated version of a (g)-URL

Until I turn 95 or 98 or 2000 you will always have the key to my pad

And on the real that you can print

Will you please stop going to the network

And realize you have mail




I Love You But God Love's You More!

Love's Hall Of Fame

I don't want to picture your picture but I do
It doesn't bring any tear stained tissues to my nightstand as they used to
It brings a smile to know that you are gone
and that you have found your happiness
Do I miss the things we used to do and say
The way we would talk and play...
I guess so but there is a time when you grow and become tired of that
I only picture you in a picture and nothing more
The usual questions the lovers in the past ask are
"Do I Miss You?" or "Do I Think About You?" and then the follow-up... "And How Much?"
I can honestly say that I don't miss it or you...like I used to and never will.
I don't miss it anymore, and I won't miss it, because your frame has moved, your memories have moved, and I don't sift through them looking for pleasure...
they are just there as what bill collectors call "friendly reminders" that are not so friendly



There comes a point time when you stop making others happy and in order for you to be completely happy and over the past loves you must put them somewhere.
I place them in an area that can be on display to those who would like to have me as their future endeavor. I would also suggest you do the same. I plead that others who might be interested that they look at the photos of the busts and read their bylines in Love's Hall of Fame. Their purpose is only a reminder of what I have learned...and what I will not allow myself to do ever again. I truly think if you don't have a Hall of Fame on display that there is a problem.

Your happiness with the one you have now came through careful consideration and the mistakes that you made. Not only that but from the lies, unfulfilled promises, and utter disrespect the other party inflicted upon you and the goodness that you gave unselfishly to them, without hesitation or question.

Embrace the Hall of Fame and accept the good of it! If and when you find the one that you will spend the rest of your life with look back at the portal of your love and realize...maybe just maybe it was all worth it!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Hey fellas...when it gets warm...the ladies....

Winter will be over soon and it brings forth one of the worst things that has ever happened to us men...women getting their feet and toes done...FINALLY! Now I like a lady with cute feet. I think all men do! But why do some women only get their toes and feet pedicures in the warmer months of Spring and Summer? I can't stand it. If ladies really are up on the game then ladies please get them done year round. Why wait until you can show them when it is all about taking care of yourself and your appearance? It is like your feet and toes have been suppressed and oppressed in the Fall and Winter and now all of a sudden you want to revitalize them. LOL! Do us men a favor just keep them pretty and tidy the whole year. Then us guys will be happy!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Making sense of God's nonsense!

There has been a large amount of conversation in the past several weeks about the many tragedies that occur in life. I can proclaim with vigor that have had my share of them. I do not believe that they will cease to exist or lighten in capacity, but honestly it is taking more of a toll on me than I thought or even expected! Whether they are personal and we feel them only in our hearts and minds...or those tragedies that are afar in places such as Chile and Haiti or near such as New Orleans and the flood plains of the United States...nevertheless there is a question that is asked that I will attempt with earnest dedication to answer..."God...why me?"

I can say that I have not asked that question, but I have (even as early as last night) thought about asking...in all that I have gone through in my life so far. Even 8 and a half months after the untimely death of my mother who was my all and my heart I can say that there have been several moments when I have wanted to ask God that question, but had sense enough not to. I looked at my reference point in my life's journey and figured that it was not my concern to question but surely a right to do so.

I will not ever believe and I implore you not to let anyone say or convince you that you can not question God! Or if you can not question if there is a God or not. And even to question why God would "allow" some of the most horrid and painful things to happen to you, others, and the world as a whole. With these pondering thoughts in mind we can say that there is a very important factor that is not represented with our questions and wonder...free will.

Take any Biblical tale and study it. Take your life experiences and analyze it. You will often see that free will is not determined or touched by God. We have decisions that we make and NOT everything is God...nor is everything of the Devil. We do what we feel will either benefit us or what we think is right...later on and as we live on, we find out if those decisions were the best in the long run. But empirically...for that particular instant, the decision or decisions we make are the ones that best fit our frame of mind at that time! Free will has nothing to do with God!

Somehow and some way we find a way to make free will and make ALL of our struggles God's fault. If that is not the case then we are upset and angry when God does not do what WE want Him to do when WE want Him to do it! Furthermore, people cherry pick scriptures from the Bible to say that God is not supposed to allow us to go through pain or suffering and that He is the source of it.

For example, a person that is close to you dies at a specific point in time when you asked and prayed to God for that person to live, and you say to God... if you would have done such and so then that person would still be around today! NOT! That decision is not in our realm to make...thus we can not say that God had it out for you or that person.

Another example... A farmer loses all of his crops to a torrential rainstorm and loses his crops and ultimately can not feed or support his family. He then says, God why did you allow my farm to be overrun by the flood waters? This is your fault that I have lost these crops and not have to file for some kind of assistance to recoup the crops and money lost from this harvest! NOT! The farm may be lost but God did not have it in His mind for you to lose your crops and to make your farm desolate and not able to bring forth food. You can't control the weather and sorry it just happened that way.

There are many other examples I could name of death, floods, earthquakes, typhoons, wildfires, and so on and so forth. All of us could name from the broad and practical to the personal and unfathomable a wide portal of things to blame God for and hold Him responsible for your unhappiness with the situation.

With the trials that we endure in life there is a common theme...IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! So since we know that..we can take the FREE WILL explanation and fit it into the aforementioned theme and also place blame and anger at God there as well! We have heard that... Bad things happen to good people. So? Don't you know that...Good things happen to bad people! Believe it or not...it DOES makes sense.

God taking my mother back and allowing her to pass away...allowing her to be injured by the hands of a surgeon... a young girl being raped by their father...a child killed by a stray bullet...people born with no limbs...people born with limited mental capacities...people born blind...a woman who can not get pregnant...a man that is on disability to the point he can not work ever again...a President of a country that makes decisions that cause people to lose their jobs...con artists swindling the elderly...a criminal killed while in prison...a judge's decision that lets a murderer go free...an earthquake that decimates homes and human lives...a hurricane that rages a land and it's people...a drought that causes disease and famine...not being able to pay your bills...being broke that you can not buy food...being alone with no family and friends..on and on and on!

In a personal sense, I have had to come to grips and once again ask is it ALL God? NO! Free will steps in again. I can explain by using my latest tragedy about my mother. Without telling the details of my mother's surgery I can say that the surgeon made some dumb choices and choices that led to my mother's death...BUT the surgeon does not have the power to give life or to impale death...only God does! I remember saying to God if you want to work a miracle please do, and if you want her back please take her. Whatever decision You want to make Lord, yo do it and I trust that you will take care of me. He made the decision and I have had to live with His decision.

God does have control over the storms, the earthquakes, the volcanic eruptions, the ability to give life and take it away...that does make sense. Why does he allow it knowing that it causes hurt and pain? Why does He allow others to have so much and some to have so little? Why does He say trust in Him and the more you trust the more it seems you keep getting lower and lower on the food chain of life? Why is it that people continue to tell you to pray and continue to tell you to read your Bible when you have already done that continuously with no change? Why is it that people say that God loves you and that God is love, when some of the actions that take place in life is full of evil and hate? BECAUSE IT MAKES SENSE!

Everyone it not going to live forever. If the rain does not fall how will the flowers and plants we need, grow? If some natural occurrences do not happen to destroy...how can room be made for something new and sustainable to be brought into the world? If my mother would not have died, how would I grow to be better and more mature and to understand that these things are supposed to happen to bring you closer to God?

Good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people, but it will not always be that way! It is a cycle that we must know how to handle...it is a balancing act. We can not be given too much of a good thing because we will not respect and appreciate it and not take it for granted. On the other hand we can not be given too much of a bad thing for we will think that no good can ever happen and that life is all horrible and awful! You can be happy and smile that a child is born and cry not knowing what that child may have to endure in their life. We can bawl and be sad that a family member or loved one has passed away and then smile and be happy that they can be at home with the Lord because they did their work on this Earth and that God is granting them their life's reward and his promise to be fulfilled! How can you know the difference between good and bad, awful and grand, horrible and happy, if we are not shown all aspects and examples of it?

There is an understanding that is deeply fixed within all of these instances...YOU ARE ALIVE TO SEE IT! We are not owed a next day to live, nor to be able to use all of your faculties, limbs, eyesight, nor to have the funds to pay bills, nor to even have bills, and the list goes on. It makes sense! You do not have to be in the land of the living or as fortunate as you are to even survive, endure, overcome, triumph...which ever adjective you would like to describe your abilities. Look at where you were and where you are now.

Be glad that those who are dead and gone have the ability to revel and relish in the life they lived and are up in Heaven (most of them if they got there) having a good time with God! This blog may serve as a reminder to all of us that as much as it does not make sense...nonsense...it makes a lot of sense. No need to be mad...although you have every right to be mad and upset with God for as long as you want to...but as upset as you are with Him and as mad as you can humanly be with Him...that will never surpass the amount that He loves you and I!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

The Imaginary Black Man!

One day removed after the United States designated black history month I feel more used, abused, and confused than before. It is not that I do not have pride in being a "black" person, a "black" man but I am more than that. We have studied for ages Malcolm, Martin, Medgar, Stokely, Jessie Jackson(he's full of crap and talks more crap than anyone), Benjamin, Sojourner, Harriet, Mary, Madame C.J., Charles, Paul, Booker, W.E.B., Langston, Tony Dungy, Jessie Owens, and so on and so forth and have said all that can be said. Even being a little more than a year removed from the first president to have darker skin than the other U.S. presidents (without a tan) I still feel empty inside, not as prideful as I should in my ethnic group as a whole, and that measurable improvements both tangible and otherwise have not been made!

SO what is the problem or the issue that I am having? It is the lack of understanding that still lingers and has nothing to do with the "dream", and nothing to do with the "history" of "Blacks"! I am still imaginary to you, to them, and sometimes to myself!

Where does this imaginary state of being and mindset come from? Well it is simple...as long as I am a "black" male I will always be a statistic in someones eyes. I am a "black" man in this age range to be this..., I am a "black" man that has not been to prison in this age range..., I am a "black" man to complete a graduate degree in this age range..., I am a "black" man who is unmarried with no children in this specific age range..., this specific part of the country..., not to have AIDS/HIV in this specific age range or this specific region of the country at a specified weather season....who the heck knows! It is a census that is embedded within a census... and the information garnered in this portal is to be used for what reason? Is it to be used as a census of the census to census those who happen to be "black" males and who do not fit into the "realistic" and "relativistic" domain that the "black" man is "supposed" the adhere to. Is it those statistics and facets of the census that make the "black" man real and relevant? Is that when he is of some use and applicable to society? It seems that way to me!

The fact of the matter is that these "alarming" statistics and ability for me to not fall in the negative categories and fall into the positive ones makes me imaginary. It also makes those who are like me imaginary and those who are the antithesis of the aforementioned just as real and ordinary as can be, based on the numbers!

Why do we celebrate those in the history books every damn year that have made wonderful contributions AND treat them as a myth? Why do we look back at history and wrap our brains, entangle our brain matter, with the concerns and accomplishments of a once alive and breathing myth? In addition, we should realize that we happen to be in the same mythical state of mind looking at those who are alive, wrapped up in the same myth that we have assigned them to be! It seems to me that a simple 41 (or so) years after the assination of Dr. King, and a simple 60 (take or leave a few) years of fighting for a change (in all aspects political and otherwise) in how "blacks" look at ourselves...hardly a damn thing has changed.

Yeah as a "black" person I have said it. What are "we" fighting for now? What is the focus of our "struggle" and how to get through or "overcome" it? Must I still be called an "African American" or "Black American"? I am plain and simple an American! When will we stop celebrating the history and legacies and focus on advancement, so that those who are trying to advance and figure out the agenda and what's next on it will be recognized? Having large NAACP and CBC parties and award shows is not going to do the trick! Begging President Obama and reminding him everyday to do something for "black" people is not the solution! Wearing t-shirts with famous "black" people on it is hardly a solution...but a great way to show what you think of that person! Money is great to have but the only thing money can do is pay the bills...and bills come in a variety of forms! Praying to the good Lord is a wonderful thing, but the Lord can give you insight, wisdom, and guidance but WE have to act upon it and actually get our asses out of the bed and DO SOME WORK!!!

Please don't give me the crap about ..."If you don't know your past you don't know your future!"...that is old and played! That mess is imaginary too...I was never a slave and thus I have no first hand idea the pain and disrespect those ancestors endured! I can look at that past aspect and accept it but does that mean slavery (in any form) will not come in the future? There is no guarantee...as there are volunteer slaves roaming this country with all sorts of tanned skin that doesn't peel or rub off...and you know who you are! We have looked at the history for years and I am confident that we know it. We might find new adventures in our history that we did not know, but shouldn't we make ourselves relevant and modern? We have delved in the past and divulged all we can from it! Let's move on! Let's look at the future. Can't we write a book that makes us real and living? It is very difficult to be imaginary these days...and it is alarming that the people making us "black" men that are not relativistic to the statistics imaginary!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

PISSITIVITY...3RD EDITION! (Tongue tricks!)

I have been holding my peace on this edition of "Pissitivity" for awhile and I guess I should let it out now before my head hurts and the pain becomes unbearable! LOL!
I am sick of people playing tongue tricks....(and you know who you are!) To those who are wondering what I mean by tongue tricks, it the ability to say something out of your mouth and then either...

1. Don't live up to what that person was going to say or already said!
2. Don't have the common courtesy to say they can't do something knowing that the other party has asked them to confirm or back out of the activity or whatever was planned.
3. Using a language that is filled heavily with semantics so they can never promise or own up to anything by using words like "might", "could", "possibly", "I guess", or by not saying anything at all.
4. Try to avoid the topic and never apologize for their mistake in you wasting your time and resources!

This of course leads to a lack of trust and yields into other things that I am sure you know what I am speaking of. When and if the individual or people who practice tongue tricks ever speak to you after they have screwed you over they will begin to combat you with a litany of stupidity and excuses to why they did not do what they said or agreed to...if you speak about it first! The combating has to be done carefully because the person who is using the tongue trick will try to turn the situation around and not accept any of the responsibility for their apathy of respect toward you. You might hear such phrases as...

1. "Why are you so bitter?" Bitter is a word they love to use...you are not bitter at all, but you do feel wronged and have every right to let their trifling ass know!!
2. "Well I never said...(you fill in the blank)." Oh yeah they did say! How would you have reserved time and resources if they didn't...and when you tried to confirm...they are like a damn ghost or can't speak! They like to use semantics so look out for that!
3. "I never got your message." We know that one is a lie because the phone and voicemail was working all other times, but all of a sudden when it is time to live up to what you said you wanted to do or agree to...nothing works?
4. "I was going to call you but I got so caught up...". That's another lie! If you were so damn busy and caught up why did you accept the invitation in the first damn place?
5. "Why are you overreacting?" Now this is said when you have become irritated because they have not apologized or said a word to you and when you have had enough. Be very careful of this...you never want to hear it said because that means you have overreacted and become a little hostile. To overcome this say something like..."You would be a little upset as well if someone cancelled on you or didn't follow through on what they said they would do. Moreover it is not acceptable when people do not acknowledge when they have shown themselves not to be trustworthy or hold up to their word!" They shut up usually after that is said...you will hear nothing but crickets!

There might be countless other things that are said but just remember they are the person that wronged you! They may act like all is well in their lives but trust me...it isn't! If they have the audacity to stand you up or lie to you without the courtesy of apologizing...they have a pretty fucked up life!

The smile that they exclaim to you is not a real smile and of course you can't trust them as far as they can breathe! I am sure others have been a victim of tongue tricks and well...it burns you up! Just remember that if you do not say anything to them...they will not say anything to you! People who owe you money (in most instances) will not speak to you ever again or even ask you for more money because they owe you money!

These people know they have done you wrong and should give you an apology and a lot more for wasting your time. If you do decide to say something to them just tread lightly and see what they will say. These individuals won't say much, but when you are done saying what you have to say...cross them out, delete them, forget about them! If they were on the side of the road, and they were on fire, and no water was around, don't even waste your precious urine on their lying ass carcass!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!!

If you want to continue to live in America...You might want to read this!!

You work (hopefully you are employed if you are reading this), I work, most of us work in this country and as a result we pay income taxes, sales tax, gas tax, cell phone tax, property tax, land tax, and so on...and thus we are entitled something when you work...the ability to take care of ailments. Moreover, the ability to take care of nagging sickness that may come from time to time. I will add that the only exception to rule will be those who use their bodies to make a living such as professional wrestlers, football, basketball, baseball athletes, and etc. In the grand scheme of things they also work to make sure that their family will have the ability to have their nagging aches and pains, infections and colds, and God forbid diseases and detrimental illnesses. It is not just a privilege to work to receive medical insurance coverage for these ailments but it is a human right!

Today is a very important day in my eyes and possibly the basis for me either residing in this country or moving somewhere else (like Canada) that will actually take care and provide quality health care for ALL AMERICANS whether working or not...child or elderly...we have paid the price(in taxes) for years to have health care without question. I have paid taxes all of my working years and that alone should guarantee me health care coverage whether my condition is pre-existing or not. I am a diabetic and I try to take care of my diabetes...but when I was not employed and needed medicine to help control it, I was limited to options of getting those medicines and made a pre-existing condition worse. Think of the parents of children that do not have jobs, and Medicare and Medicaid (yeah those programs are a joke...remember I said QUALITY health care) will not pay for ALL of the bill... and as a result many parents do not even take their children to the doctor for check-ups because of that fact. They use the Emergency Room at a local hospital as the doctor's office and hope to get treatment for their suffering child.

Senior citizens can hardly afford the medicines. I remember when my mother told me she got a cost of living increase in her retirement pension, only to find out later that the cost of her medication, co-pay for doctors visits, and visits to specialists would be increasing...again! This is totally outrageous and today, public officials will meet at the Blair House for a Health Care Summit.

I ask each of you that reads this blog to understand what this Summit means for the future for all Americans. This could be the small building block of either progress OR destruction of the basis of this country...which is CHARITY and yes ALL of our lives. We are always willing to help out others outside of our borders with medical aid, food, clothing, money, military service specialists, weaponry, and FAIL to take care of our OWN citizens! This is not a joke. Egos ought to be set aside in the discussion and think of the long term effects of passing EFFECTIVE health care legislation to take care of and help ALL Americans. I have never heard a Senator or Representative complain about their health care costs, quality of service, the ability to go to ANY hospital for treatment no matter where they might be, choosing a doctor or specialist that is in their insurance company "network", or the damn insurance companies and their pre-existing condition clauses and expensive medicines...especially when their doctors are en route to their offices!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Eggs and Clit

I have tried unsuccessfully to wish the morning away and bring back the night. Specifically last night, when all of the time and opportunities to feel each other were there and made…so…we did what we did.

Now the morning has come and it’s a new day, a new time, a new experience, but the same old horniness is there for me, and I can feel it coming from you too.

My doctor informed me that I should always indulge the mornings with a meal whether it is large or small……yes a breakfast…in the morning so it can regulate my blood sugar and well, keep me healthy. By the looks of things as I wake up with you next to me still holding my hand…still with a comforted smile…still panting in exhaustion with a slight snore…you want some more…and I want to give it to you…but I have to eat breakfast first!

Traditional cookbooks have always had pairings for breakfast entrees…pancakes and sausage…cereal and fruit…coffee and a danish…ham and cheese omelet…even biscuits and gravy, but as I look at you and the sunshine peeking through the window…I only think about the delicious pairing eggs and clit.

Whatever! Forget the damn eggs…how about I start off the morning with a nice, warm, creamy, clit for me to taste…I mean isn’t that the breakfast of champions?

Your honey brown thighs surrounding my neck as I gently lick for your movement of affirmation… only excites me. And as you awaken to me getting my treat… I can feel your exaltation as you are squeezing your thighs tighter and tighter as you moan louder and louder…and I can taste this butterscotch treat as it hits my pallet and coats my throat.

I continue in spite of your urges for me to stop because you have to go to work, and you know I won’t stop and don’t want to stop…even if I have to pay you a full day’s wage I don’t want you, nor your thighs, nor your taste, nor your hands that are grabbing my ears to go anywhere.

This is my all you can eat buffet and I will not cease until you can’t produce anymore food for me on the buffet line! And even then... I have a large spoon for well…you know what I mean!! But sadly I understand you have to go to work and you can’t call out ill …so I will reluctantly push my plate aside… unfortunately, until the next morning…my hunger for you… my favorite morning delight…my morning pair…my dream breakfast…eggs and clit… oh yeah, that’s right...forget the eggs!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Sexual Maturity!

Remember when the acts of sex weren’t confusing? We have all had the conversations when we were advancing in age and then wanting to explore the experience of sex. Come on now I am sure you do have a recollection of what was said and often times done!

Remember when it was asked whether or not you have “done it”… and those who answered yes said, “Yes I have “done it”!” and that was all that was needed to be known. Then another instance you were asked could you “do it” and he or she said, “Yeah I can do it”. Then you would find a place (the dark creep spot… in school or out of school…when the ‘rents weren’t home…or in the movies, way in the back… meet up, and “do it”. Simple and easy right?

Then you and the sexual questions mature…he or she would ask, “Can you do it and do it good?”…he or she would say, “Yeah I can do it and do it good!”….then you would find a spot (any that were mentioned previously) meet up, and “do it and do it good!” Not too bad. That is still pretty simple and easy!

Things from this point on would progress sexually. Now she would ask… “Can you do it, do it good, and lick downtown?” (I hate that SWV...Sistas With Vaginas…song called Downtown) and he would reply, “Yeah I can do it, do it good, and no I don't do that!” She would then say, “Well you not going to get any of this!” The dude would then tell the fellas, “Hey man she wants me to go down there and lick the la-la!” The fellas would then reply, “Naw man you can't do that. Go find a “do it’ or a “do it and do it good” chick!”

The girl would tell her girlfriends, “He won't go down and lick the la-la!” The girlfriends would reply, “Girl, you need to find you a “do it and do it good” dude who will lick the la-la!” So then finally after knowing that he will not get any sexual pleasure he concedes and finally licks down there.

The entire sexually maturity process does not end there! You then have a woman who asks, “Can you “do it and do it good” and can you “lick it and lick it good?” The guy responds, “I can “do it and do it good” and I do “lick it” but not that often. But hell yeah I can “lick it” good!” So you pick a spot, (as I mentioned before) meet up, and “do it”, “do it good”, “lick it” and “lick it good.”

Whoa what a change from the apathy of licking and tasting to the love of “doing it” and making one a novice to an expert in 1 episode. Now let’s take a look at how things get really crazy!

The men now ask the questions after the lady asks, “Can you “do it” and ‘do it good”, “lick it” and “lick it good?” He then replies, “Yeah! But do you “suck it”?” The lady has many options to answer that question…she either will say, “No I don't do that!” or “No I don't do that with a guy I just met…it has to be a long term relationship.” Or, “No I don't like doing that it makes me feel like I am a _______ !” (You fill in the blank!) or the wonderful, “Yes I do, but only after a guy licks my la-la!”

So then everything goes straight to confusion. People want to bring in toys, chains, whips, poop, pee, videos, clothing, food items, positions, medicines, places, things, people, money, I-pods, crutches, candy, paint, vegetable oil, bacon, I don't know all hell is loose I tell you. You really just grow up quick with the sexual participation process!

People what has happened to good, old fashioned, freaky, rug burn, circus sex? Man I tell you I love that old stuff! Sex so good makes ya leg quiver and shake when you think about it.

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Happy Valentine's Play...GOOGLE A CLUE!!

I am not a cliche' person and often rebuke the cliche's individuals use to try to make a point such as: "History repeats itself." wrong...people repeat history, or "Actions speak louder than words." wrong again...your actions and words should match! So here on Valentine's Play individuals come around and on this "holiday" okay "holiplay" and express to you how much they "love" you! Folks you have not heard from in ages, send you messages and e-mails claiming how much they "love" and "care" about you! Oh boy, now that is a problem for me!

Do I appreciate the "love"? If expressed and shown at other times of the year and not just today...sure! But to wait until EVERYBODY wants to express it...at the risk of looking bad...or the risk of being thrown into the proverbial doghouse...or to tarnish their reputation if they don't...or to do it because of the "spirit" of the day...SPARE ME THE BULLSHIT!

You should express your love (or whatever you call it) ALL of the time (or as much as you can) and not base it's expression on a day...or base it upon what others are doing. I don't celebrate Valentine's Play...I might give a card...which I haven't this year...but I have never really had an interest in it. If you are celebrating the "play" today... and you are married...great for you! If you are celebrating it for your kids or for your family members...great for you too. Other than that is it really that serious? (Yeah I left out relationships/engaged people because if you are not married it is not "legal love"!)

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

First it was D'Angelo...now it is Sade!

It is funny how history repeats itself! I remember vividly it was February of 2000...on a Tuesday morning during my last semester of undergrad when my college roommate and I went after a snowstorm to purchase D'angelo's Voodoo CD. Yeah the roads were awful but I drove to the music shop and sure enough got that CD. I must say it was worth it because that CD is still in heavy rotation in my music collection.

Moving on 10 years later. I find myself on a Tuesday morning driving after a snowstorm...with the roads messy...full of snow and ice...going to Wally World to get another CD. Yes Sade's Solider of Love disc is all of that! It is a classic and I will be pretty upset if she doesn't not earn a Grammy for her work!

I guess in some ways it is worth putting my life on the line for music...hey it is my life you know!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Baby Clocks!

I have encountered many ladies in the past few months that are in their 30's and do not have any children. In addition, they are single and looking for that "right man", but just the mention of them being single and without children is great for me...then the big bomb explodes...the rush to get married...and then have that first child! It seems that the biological clock is ticking and the rush to have that family is priority. It is frustrating to both men and women...I am not in a rush to get married (knowing that it is not meant for me anyway) plus most men that I know aren't in a rush either... and the child thing (will only happen if I get married...so none for me). One the other hand a lady aspires to get married (I guess it is that one day that they feel like they are in a fairy tale and the prince will finally be hers) and to have a family as soon as possible because the biological clock is ticking to the point that it is almost a desperate attempt to hurry up and find that man before her ovaries disappear or no more eggs can be produced. I don't know maybe it is the non-emotional side to me, or that side that just really is indifferent about it either way...but that clock is ticking for many women and the closer the hour and minute hand get to that buzzer or expiration date...the more frantic the lady becomes. It is something to watch and ponder. Why is the need to have a child so paramount to a woman?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Laughing to keep from crying!

I was thinking constantly about mommy yesterday and I figured out the gift that she gave to me, the gift that she had, and the gift she shared with others. LAUGHTER! I admit I am silly and I love to laugh. I do not let anyone know what I am thinking and play the stupid role most of the time. I suppose it is a defense mechanism but it works for me. Not everyone needs to know what is on mine (or your) mind...it is sometimes better to just listen and observe. Then think about your next action...and then act upon it. I think it is just fine to keep people (the right people) guessing. remember my trust issues...refer to that! If there is something that I have learned is that what you keep in your brain and hiding your tongue in your cheek is better than being stupid and telling all what you THINK you know.

Mom and I went through a lot together (and let me tell you it was more stuff than a child or teen should ever have to go through) but we had a way of laughing all of the time and having a good time. Most people feel I am jokester and just just to joke, be silly just to be silly, or rib just to rib. That I am a person who is not serious. That I am an individual that is goofy and very immature...boy are they wrong! If I am not laughing or having a good time alone or with friends then something is wrong. I have to laugh to keep from being depressed, sad, mad, angry, all emotions that are the antithesis of a smile on my face.

Don't get me wrong I do express those emotions that are of the pessimistic nature at times but with all that I have gone through...I know a smile, a laugh, something goofy or silly is a better reaction. With all that mom went through...a smile was soon to come. I guess I have figured out that gift, that ability, that some don't seem to know they have or have not tapped into. What makes you think a Comedian is all that happy and pleased with their past or present life? Because they can make you, and I smile and they smile along with you? Sometimes the jokes are a way to let out some of that uneasiness and sadness they may have...that's what makes them so funny. Taking those things in the world they have endured and saying to themselves, I have endured and triumphed through so much...all I can do is smile and live on. What might be next will not get me down...I have been challenged and was successful in the other horrible situations and instances in my life, why can I get through these? Thanks mom I understand it with more clarity one of the gifts you gave me...the ability to just laugh it off...to make myself and others smile...and yet be wise enough to know myself and be comfortable in my own skin!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

What You Eat Don't Make Me Shyt!

I step in the lab and I am not mad, pissed, or upset. I just find that lately I am less tolerant...more apt to say how I feel at ALL costs. I have not had tact for a long time and I surely do not need it now. I find that I am less stressed than others and that I am stubborn enough to know that God will do what He wants to do and for me to understand that He will make sure it works out in my favor. That is a good kind of stubborn! I am amazed at how some folks are stressing over the little things that do not matter...like the thoughts and opinions of others. Who cares what they think. You keep living the best way you know how and have some ideals and morals.

For example, a female told me that I didn't make enough money for her...and her 2 kids...and she complains about her job everyday! She complains about how men are and how she will date people to fill a particular need and when they meet it she sticks around...if they don't she dips! That was all I needed to hear and I just made a mental note to say forget her! The number one reason I do not talk to her anymore is because of her greed, lack of ability to work for success and not receive a hand out, and of course...I don't make enough money for her and her 2 kids and since I only make enough for me I do not want to burden her with my chump change. I do not want to bother her at all...sure she is pretty, but hell looks are not everything. I'll let someone else make enough money for her! LOL!

I have been criticized for down sizing in automobiles, to the way I look, to what I say, how I dress, on and so forth and I do not care. It is a point I feel you have to reach, that point that with all I have endured (or anyone)...who the hell cares what others think or say? If they are not providing for you and if they are not someone who will provide for you...tell them to step and move the hell on! It is quite easy for me to do me...I guess because I am in my own world so much, those who enter it either fit or don't fit. Get in where you fit in...and if you don't fit in where I dwell...DEUCES!!!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Hell Is Not Hot Enough For You!

It has a dreary architecture...their soul does. I do not wish bad things on people or take delight when horrid instances invade the lives of others but Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson have proven themselves to be less than a human being...a simple blob of distorted humanity that just happens to be living.

Two days ago a very poor country of Haiti (that is surrounded by affluent countries in the Western Hemisphere)was struck by an earthquake that was accounted for by those who predict life changing world events and also by fellow scientists. The buildings in this country may be beautiful...but they are not built with beauty in mind...they are just built to enclose and protect. To have a roof over their heads. To have a place for their children and elderly to lay their thoughts down in comfort and feel somewhat secure. Their homes are humble abodes and the country of Haiti has been trying for years to have the same opportunities and lifestyle as their neighboring states...to finally secure the antithesis of poverty!

Yesterday...in just a stupid tone and thought process Pat Robertson (who I regret lives in my hometown in the 757 area code) made some dumb comments stating that this earthquake was a result of the Haitian citizens making a "deal with Satan" long ago and that they deserved this. Mr. Robertson...did you know if it was not for the Haitian war against the French for their independence that there would not have been a Louisiana Purchase for the United States? Did you know that imperialism does not work...thus the reason why the U.S. broke away from England. Did you know that your message of preaching the Gospel (which means good news) is to preach the Gospel and not backbiting gibberish that hurts others? Your comments were extremely stupid and I am also shocked at the idiot female that was sitting next you and did not have the guts to reject the comments that came out of your mouth! It is wrong and your senile carcass does not belong in a pulpit! I hope Jesus has mercy on you and that you ask for some severe and prompt forgiveness!

Yesterday...an admitted racist (in my eyes) Rush Limbaugh had made light of the situation in Haiti saying that the aid to Haiti has already been paid in the medium called the "U.S. Income Tax" and that the aid should cease. In addition, Limbaugh said that Obama will "play up his "compassionate" and "humanitarian" credentials, and that the President will use this crisis to "boost his credibility with the black community". Well Mr. Limbaugh when you were struggling with your addiction to pain killers were people compassionate to you? Or was that played up? Were people who tried to help you get over the addiction "playing up" their humanitarian fiber in their heart or was that just a farce? When you were sick recently and needed health care were the medical professionals compassionate to you with genuine concern or was that "played up"? Did any of the aforementioned questions play a part in the advancement of the white community? The rich people with health care community? The radio talk show host community? The republican community? Has your credibility increased because of your misfortune? I do not think so!

Both of these men have some serious problems and I suppose if the earthquake happened in a rich, affluent, white country that all bets are off. The sympathy from them would be enormous...and they would make Obama look like a racist man and would say he is not doing enough. Whatever the situation might be is not the actual. OUR ( not just black and white) brothers and sisters are in desperate need and we ought to look past their color, look past their economic status,look past their appearance in general and be compassionate and be humanitarians! I suppose that if Robertson and Limbaugh were in the same position they would go and beat their heads in with a rock because a black person, or a person with darker skin, or a person from African heritage, or a person who was a sinner, or a person who told the Devil to get behind them, or a person who is just genuine and kind tried to save their life because it does not fit their mental pedigree. Hell is just too nice of a place for you!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Rainbow's Gold!

It is the year 2010 and many people continue to try to live their life in a brand new fashion because it is a new year...only to do the same things as the previous year and then to promise to change things again as they promised they would in the new year that has at that moment become last year...or a year removed. I am so glad I do not do that crap, it is stupid to me. Make change when you want to and do not let the calendar mark the endpoint or beginning of what you would like to accomplish.

In any event I am feeling pretty good. I am moving closer to being under 200 pounds,
and well some people say I look sick but oh well I am liking it. I had a plan and it is coming to fruition and quickly to boot. I am doing pretty good. I think about my mommy everyday, but the initial shock is over and the game is now just to wait. Wait for the case to be said and done and live with the outcome. I feel more confident each day that justice will be in my favor and that the reward will be great!

It is good to feel good or to be on the way to feeling like your old self. I can say that I have grown...my phone doesn't ring as much as it did, and I am not taking as many calls as I used to, but I am getting there. The top is not too far away for me and when I get there I will have a ladder to help someone else get to the top or even further than me. I feel that from this storm...and let me tell you it is not an easy one to navigate through...but from this experience I feel that my gold will be there in the end! So happy new year to you. The best in love, relationships, and all that you want your life to produce. You can do it..and you are the only one who can! You know what awaits at the end of the rainbow!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!