The Lab Notebook

Clubbin' in the Washinton D.C. Night Life...What are you waiting for? Seriously, what?

2012-02-08T12:44:00.001Z

It is a Friday or Saturday night. You have that urge to go out and and dance, meet new people, and party the night away following a trying work week. Or maybe your peeps are in town and want to get together and get their flirt or groove on? Perhaps you feel that your mojo has taken a dip and you want to see if you still have that undeniable and recognizable swagger to charm the opposite sex? But, before you leave to venture around the streets of Washington D.C., you do that last check in the full length mirror (of course), and the following lyrics may come to mind when you are posing...

Ain't nobody dope as me I'm just so fresh so clean (So fresh and so clean clean) Don't you think I'm so sexy I'm just so fresh so clean (So fresh and so clean clean)

or

(Change clothes and go) You know I stay, fresh to death
I brought you from the projects
And I'm a take you to the top of the globe so let's go (Change numbers and go)
Uh huh yeah, uh (Now girl I promise you, no substitute)
It's just me

or

Cause when they act up
That's when you put it on
Get em uptight
This is your song
Poke out yo' back
Time to impress
Pull out yo' Freekum Dress!
Oh oh oh oh
Put yo' freekum dress on!

which ever song that is in your head that causes you to move and sway just a little to confirm that you are looking good and ready to party! As Cookie would say you are "suited and booted"! You might be riding alone to meet your crew at the club, picking up some people since you are the designated driver, or possibly you could be awaiting a ride from your friends. The hype for the night is increased when you are traveling towards D.C. and the flickering lights at the apex of the Washington Monument is in view.

You and your crew have made all of the minor details that accompany Washington D.C. nightlife. To ensure that you will have no foul-ups to get into the club the following has been done...

Full names on the guest list. (No nicknames this time.)

The VIP hook-up has been contacted 26.3 times (5.7 voice mails left and 20.6 conversations throughout the week to clear up the plan!)

The tickets are in tow and extra copies of the flyer/e-mail/text message just in case they are needed.

Driving path/Metro station and parking has been mapped to make sure you arrive in time and avoid traffic.

There are many other preparation protocol but those are just a few.

The car is parked and now away we go to walk to the club when you notice there is a LINE! Not just a LINE but a LONG LINE! No worries. You walk over to let the security personnel know you have a ticket/you are on the guest list/you know (insert name of VIP hook-up person here) and they told you (insert info here)/You have a text message/flyer/American Express card/voting card/etc. All to be told that the line is...you guessed it, right where you were before you walked up to security. Don't call your VIP hook-up, they can't hear the phone inside the noisy club, or when you do talk to the person they can not hear you and vice versa.

Finally the line is moving and the identifications are checked,bags are inspected, frisked for weapons, names for the guest list are given, tickets taken, flyers confiscated, all to see that THERE WAS HARDLY ANYONE IN THE CLUB FOR THE LINE TO BE THAT DAMN LONG! Congratulations, you have been suckered into the Washington D.C. nightclub scene!

Is the aforementioned scenario a little extreme? It might be. But for many of us that have had a "night from hell" in a D.C. club, it isn't. I have caught on to it now and I do not feel the need to wait in a line to be a part of the "curb eye candy" to show rubber-neckers passing by that the particular club is "on and popping"! If we are being used as club bait, then pay us for our services. Why should club owners and promoters benefit from our inconvenience to increase the profit their club receives?

If measures are taken to go as far as that to show that a nightclub is the place to be, then it must not be the place to be. I can have a great time doing the same thing at a nightclub (exclusive or not) that has no outstanding and ridiculously long lines. Trust me, I have had a great time in places where there was no line and no waiting. Simply pay the cover charge, get your ass in, and party! I know this might be a first for me, as bold as I am, but I do not want to name the names of some of these night spots in D.C. that use their customers as club bait, but I am sure many people can name these clubs and place those names in the comment section. I know of some, but it would be beneficial for others to name these spots so that we do not allow them to pimp us. We are the people that pay the bills of these promoters and club owners.

Don't we already wait in enough lines at the club? Let's see...

There is the bathroom line with no paper towels to dry our hands!

Can't forget about the line at the bar! I can't even get a drink because there are only 2 bartenders and 2 waiters/waitresses working the WHOLE damn bar area!

There is the valet parking line as you wait to leave. It shouldn't take 20 minutes to find and drive my car to me, and yet the valet drivers want a tip? Here is a tip...Find my car a little quicker!

There is the all famous picture line. We all know that is the line that has the Biggie and Tupac background with a bottle of St. Ides malt liquor in between Biggie and Tupac images. Along the top of the back drop the M.C. Hammer slogan, "You can't touch this!" is written. Of course the picture is taken with an old ass Polaroid camera and hopefully the damn camera works, or you have repeat the same old ass, drunk, ghetto poses for the camera man again.

If the club you are patronizing has more than one level, then you have the stair/elevator line. No one is moving because one security guard stands in the way and the other security guard wants you to walk around them directly into the opposing incoming stair traffic. It is hot, sweaty, funky, drunk people gridlock.

The other lines that you have endured do not matter because you are drunk and want to leave the club. Why? Because there is a line to get out of the door when leaving, that happens to merge with the line that is trying to enter the club. Why? Because the club entrance is the same as the exit of the club.

Just when you have survived all of the club lines, you happen to then be exposed to the line at the IHOP/Denny's/Silver Diner/Ben's Chilli Bowl/Snack'n'Shack because everyone from other clubs have decided to converge and eat at the same time and at the same restaurant.

It is really a shame all that we do to have a good time at some of these clubs in the District. I can only ponder as to why the "clubbin'" thing gets old. Maybe it isn't the attitudes that people encounter and deal with. Maybe it isn't the fear of a fight or some type of violence. Maybe it is the fear and terror of the DAMN LINES!!! I got a song for that...

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Marriage...Is it the "Finish Line"?

2012-02-04T19:02:00.001Z

I am a thirty-something, heterosexual, childless, STD free, Black male with a Bachelor's and Master's degree... and I am unmarried. You can take the above sentence...dissect it, plug and play any adjectives that you wish. With that sentence, I am looked at with eyes wide open and astonishment. Is it the childless part? Is it the degree section? Is it the mention of my age? I suppose it is the segment in which I am unmarried? Whatever part it is, I will have to say that eyes and mouth are wide open of those that hear it and the look of surprise takes over.

Just imagine what will begin to happen in the next few months when Winter comes to a close and the Spring appears again. Those that received wedding engagement rings will send out their invitations to their most wonderful and cherished event. Ladies will solidify the wedding dresses and party favors for their esteemed guests. Gentlemen will sit with their prospective wives and narrow down the venue, colors, flowers, reception area, guest list, wedding party members, minister/judge, to officiate the glorious event.

One can also turn on the television and watch shows to compare what they would like to see at another couple's wedding. Contests held by early morning talk shows to see who will have the expenses for their wedding paid. Coverage of the wedding dress dash that happens at a bridal shop each year will once again be featured. The list continues on and on. It is sobering. In point of fact, it does not seem all that glorious when the festivities are over. I guess it is the same aftershock when someone finds out that I am a thirty-something, heterosexual, childless, STD free, Black male with a Bachelor's and Master's degree...and I am unmarried. The connection is there.

As I am not the only person in my age range that is in this situation of being a damn good catch and unwed, I know especially from the situation with Lauren (sorry I had to add you in this one) everything is not for everybody, and thus marriage is not for everyone. I was not a person in her estimation that she would like to date, but when it comes to friends (insert cash register sound here) welcome to the Zone! Maybe people like me are career daters, but I digress.

I know what is seen on television, and similarly I know what is seen of me. I am reminded of how great marriage can be, and I can remind someone of how great of a man I can be to a lady. I can see the intricate details of happiness that is exhibited looking over old wedding photos and remembering good times, as well as I can look and delve into memories captured by a picture and laughing about the times that were shared with a potential mate. All in all it does not mean that I was meant for that person nor is marriage meant for everyone. If marriage is for you then you will know it is for you and not doubt it. Grant it that people try marriage and they sometimes fail and they sometimes are sustained.

I can admit that I am not ready for marriage and I am not able at this time to account for another personality, and another attitude in the room. Marriage is not necessarily the finish line. Marriage does not mean your relationship is in bliss or happiness. I know several happily, unhappy married people. Some people get married for convenience of sex and others because it is a tax break. The media has also done a great job of turning marriage into an action and bond that is not very sacred anymore. It is something to do when you "feel" that you are in love and ready to "settle down". It's sad how "media pressure" and "peer pressure" force others to do things that they may not want to do.

I think gardening is a lot like marriage. You search for the right grounds and lay claim to that portion of land. You put in a lot of work to cultivate it and then all you can do then is pray and wait. Make sure that there are no weeds growing in the area in which your garden resides and you wait. You pray for the right type of weather to come and help your crop grow and you wait. You add some plant food to help the crop grow along and you wait. Essentially, if you are not wiling to put in the work...you will not receive a crop to harvest. You get out of it what you put into it. You can't do much more than that I suppose, and yes I can be wrong. I guess in my case we can only...WAIT!!

What say you?
Is marriage truly the "Finish Line"?
If not then what is?

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

The Things A Black Woman Won't Do! Volume 2...We All Know You Ain't Broke!!

2012-01-18T21:26:00.007Z

Here is a brief list of things that many Black women like to have done or do on a regular/weekly basis...

Hair
Nails
Brunch with the girls
Ladies Night/Club Night with the girls
The cry on my shoulder/men bashing lunch or dinner
Shop

None of the previously mentioned activities had a thing to do with a bill being paid. To be specific we shall name the bills...

Car
Electricity
Cell Phone
Cable
Internet
Rent/Mortgage
Water
Food
Home Phone
Car Insurance

Furthermore, none of the previously mentioned activities would a black woman say "I have to wait until I get paid"! to participate in. Therefore, most of us men know that if a Black woman says she is broke...that only means she does not want to dip into the reserve funds for the "rainy day", "sexy stilettos" found at the shoe store, or that "Fendi hand bag" that she is sure no one has in their hand bag collection.

I can admit I may be exaggerating, but for the most part it is true. I can remember watching my mother make ends meet on her teacher salary. On Saturday mornings she would have her bills and her check book set for her money managing time. After all was done she would get dressed to go to the post office and mail the bills off that same day. Bills Paid! Checkbook Balanced! Money put in Savings account! Left over money to do whatever she wanted to do with!

I never wondered how she was always able to do things and entertain herself at times, but she did it. As an adult, I remember asking my mother for some financial assistance and she would tell me she didn't have it, only to be told later that day or week that I should pay her back promptly and no excuses. A Black woman is never "broke"!

I am sure we have all heard of the special days in which a person may have an abundance of money...

Income Tax Return Day
Pay Day
Pay Day Loan Day
Settlement Day
Social Assistance Day
Bonus Check Day

and those days are eliminated from the times in which you should ask a Black woman to go half or "dutch" on something. My advice is to make sure she invites you! If she doesn't she won't pay. Just in case you do ask a Black woman, beware of the ramifications of what you may hear from a Black woman such as...

We are not together so you should be trying to wine and dine me..and maybe I can treat you one day! I am an investment and the more you invest the more return you gain in the LONG run.

I have (insert number of children or dependents if applicable). What makes you think I can take you out or go half on something? What kind of man are you?

What ever happened to a Black man or any man for that matter trying to court a woman? I guess chivalry is dead.

I don't get paid until (insert day of the week) and even then I still have bills to pay. Aren't you the baller? You are supposed to hold your woman down!

Now I am sure most men have heard something of the like that explains a Black woman's position on her finances, but truth be told, it is nothing as she says it is. Some Black women may not have the money, but I am pretty sure that she has the money to do whatever she wants to do but is tired of spending it on someone that does not have the same amount of earning power that she might have.

The next time you are trying to date or court a Black woman, notice her activities. Notice and pay attention to her look and clothing. Watch and listen to what her activities are, even to the specifics of what she drinks at the bar. It may surprise you that every time she screams out how she has no money...the activities mentioned at the start of this blog are done all of the time, without fail.

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

The Power of One

2012-01-18T04:03:00.004Z

I have a lot of ties, DVD's,and CD's. I have hundreds of them. I know a lot of ladies that own plenty of shoes and hand bags. In addition, I have met and friended individuals that have a plethora of collectible items such as Baseball cards, coins, stamps, artwork, and the list goes on. The most amazing thing about this remains a mystery to me and probably others. With all of the non-harmful greed we have for particular items, it is that one person, that one individual, that MOST people search for that will satisfy their yearning for the love of one in return for the rest of their lives.

It is indeed astonishing to fathom that with the things we have in abundance. Surprising and yet wonderful that it takes one person to bring us extra added happiness and companionship in our lives. (Please note...I am not speaking of those people that have multiple wives and multiple husbands, I am speaking in the sense and realm of a normal relationship and not some farce). Remind yourself of the things that you remember the most...

Your first car...
Your first kiss...
The first time you had sex...
The first time you met your boyfriend/girlfriend...
Your first house...
Your first job...
The first thing you bought from your first paycheck, from your first job...
Your first vacation...
The first concert you ever attended...
The first time you experienced something (__________) you fill in the blank.

It is refreshing to know that there are some things in life that are worth being first. It is a memory that no matter how old you get, you will always remember. It has been said for many years that there is a first time for everything. I say that there is an everything a first time is for and we will never forget those people, moments, and experiences!!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Blame it on...I-Pods, I-Pads and I-Phones...The Reason You Are Single!! NO APP FOR THAT!!

2012-01-09T02:16:00.010Z

Consider what is said to the most eligible professional, single person in the age range of 25-36...

"You are a great guy/girl and any woman/man would be lucky to have you, but I am not your type."

Maybe you have heard this one...

"I don't think I can live up to the things that you may want me to. Just look at you, you have...(fill in the blanks of all that you have that the other doesn't) and I am not on your level. I feel you could do better with someone that is not me and more like you."

For the sake of completeness how about this oldie but goodie...

"Why would you want a man/woman like me? I am nowhere near as accomplished as you are."

The latter excuses or reasons for not wanting to date someone or even taking a relationship further may have been heard by you (I know I have heard it) and may have you wondering did you just open a can of Jerry Springer show buttering up, just to get let down script, from someone that you think is relationship material. Yes it is crazy but true...you have made decisions for your life to improve it, and because you have made decisions concerning your education, financial stability, transportation, clothing and shoe selection, enunciation and pronunciation of the English language, someone does not want to continue to get to know or date you.

It has happened and continues to happen to me. I was taught at an early age to be an educated an responsible man. It was instilled in my being to have a goal that I should reach and maintain a style of living that can and is respectable. I am sure many individuals for the most part have been told that hard work and sound decision making will pay off. I am quite convinced that a healthy regimen of creating goals and working towards them will create a portfolio of success that you can be proud of...even if others aren't.

Living in the Washington D.C. metropolitan area for the past seven years have taught me that in a dating capacity, all of the aforementioned will not help you get anywhere with those who you may have a romantic interest in. It has been noted that as a male living in this locale that there is a greater number of single ladies to my disposal and that I should be having a great time meeting the multitudes of women that are "single and ready to mingle'. That is to the contrary. I have said it before and I will continue to exclaim...There is quantity. but not much quality! It is similar to the saying that everything that is good, may not be good for you. Or we can even go as far as mentioning that too much of a good thing may be bad for you. Sufficed to say, I think I have become a career dater. The faces are different, the lines are the same, and the result doesn't change!

I am still trying to wrap my mind around the concept. It is like a game of tennis, table tennis, ping pong, point and counter point, dating Tick Tack Toe...you can always respond with proper reasoning to their statement of denial for continuing something viable with you and then, you respond with a great counter move all to end up deadlocked and for the most part, you are the one that ends the relationship, giving that person what they want...because you are tired or feel guilty.

So let's play a sample game of Dating Tick Tack Toe...

"X"

- You have a Bachelor's and Master's Degree. I am not as educated as you.

"O"

- Just because I went to school does not mean that I am smarter than you. We can enhance each other's life with the experiences we have learned.

"X"

- You drive a nice/nicer car and have nice/nicer things. I am struggling just to make ends meet.

"O"

- It is not about money or possessions. Everybody struggles to get what and where they want and even still, you have to struggle to maintain it.

"X"

- I have a child/children, you have more freedom than I do and well I am sure you don't want to be tied down with having to deal with my schedule of finding a baby sitter and all of that.

"O"

- You told me you had a child/children when we first met. I haven't gone anywhere so why are you bringing that up now?

"X"

- I have a lot of issues and baggage that I am still getting through. Look at you, it seems that you don't have any. Why would you want to mess with me?

"O"

- Everyone has baggage! What do you think I have arms for? Everywhere I have traveled, by air, land, or sea I have seen people with baggage. Some people have more or less, but we all have baggage. I don't hold that against you.

"X"

- Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with a man/woman like me?

This is the point in which the game is "cat"! No more moves to make because no one wins!!

You really have tried to be diplomatic about it and just try to change the subject, or harvest the crop from the seeds that have been planted in your mind that this person is not what you thought or hoped that they were. It is really sad...the disposition from it all that once again you have wasted your time on someone that has made you feel guilty and out of sorts for being a productive, tax paying, non-convict, educated, working, citizen in society.

What say you?

1. Why has the aforementioned scenario become a common practice for those within the dating age range of 25-36 (especially in major metropolitan areas with young professionals)?

2. Has the "I" generation of I-Pods, I-Pads, I-Phones, created a situation that people are scared to deal with reality of life and yet frolic and thrive in a virtual world?

3. Would it be better if I did not make choices to better my life and become someone I don't want to be for the sake of being in a productive relationship? If so, is that healthy in the long run?

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

I'm So Glad I Didn't Have Sex With Her!!

2012-01-05T17:14:00.004Z

I consider myself to be a pretty intuitive person. There are signals that might be minute, but tell you in a subtle way not to do particular things. For example, you can sense when a brawl is about to erupt in a night club, you gather your shit and leave. You know for some reason not to take off abruptly when that light changes to green, some fool might try to run the opposing light. In addition, you can sense when something is not right about the neighborhood you are traveling through, so you tread lightly and get the hell out of Dodge. When it came down to getting some action on New Year's Eve/Morning 2012, I can say that I am glad that I did not have sex with that woman!

For simplicity's sake I will name this woman "Koko". I have been talking to Koko for a few months now and well, we have had our up's and down's and trying times. She is a very attractive, smart, woman and she seems to be what I like. Unfortunately she has made my nerves of steel become nerves of the most brittle brand and I try to avoid her phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, and it is not going as well as I thought. We spent time together to begin 2012 and yes there was a moment when we got back to the hotel that intimacy was taking place.

At that moment, I decided to listen to that voice in my brain, that feeling in my bones that said...do not take it any further than the shower we took together, the kissing, and the touching. I made up a lie saying I didn't have any condoms on me. Plus, I didn't want to spoil to mood to go out and buy some protection and then begin to recreate something I should have been prepared for. The truth of the issue is that I had condoms in my toiletry bag and I am ready at all times. I just felt that if I did sleep with her that night that I would see just how "thirsty" the woman can get in the aftermath. I am so glad and elated that I listened to my instincts.

For the past few days she has gotten on my nerves. She has questioned and interrogated everything about that night and why we did not have sex. Didn't she hear me when I lied and said I had no condoms!! LOL! She claims that I have had others in my past hurt me and that all she wants to do is prove that she can love me. (Great job of proving after 2.5 months!) She has said that I am emotionally unavailable and that is why I don't call her everyday! (Maybe it is because I am busy and want a chance to miss you!) We live in two different locales that are hours apart and I should be more attentive to her need for me to talk to her several times a day. (Is that light stalking of a Twitter nature?) She questions if my interest is really with her or with someone else.(I do have many interests, I thought this was clear in the dating realm of dating!) She speaks about her money woes, children woes, woe's woes, woe is her, woes is her kids, woe is her house, woe is her mother, woe horsey, woe partner, just woe! Not the Black Rob song "Whoa!", her song is "WOE"!

I can admit that I did take a step back, and that I am not as in to her as I was. I am willing to give it a chance if she would just chill for a minute. I did ask her and that went over her head like "Whoa"! We all know I can converse about many subjects, I just do not like speaking about relationships and feelings ALL of the time. I am a person who likes to laugh and for the most part she does not get or understand my humor.

I don't want to act like I am playing her, nor not give her a chance, I just wonder how things would have been if I did have sex with her. I might be writing this blog with broken limbs, stab wounds, or asking for help with a restraining order. I guess I would be like "Whoa!" (and not like "Woe!"), why In the hell did I sleep with Koko?

I Love You But God Love's You More!

Amnesia

2012-01-03T22:53:00.003Z

Paralyzed by the Sun
Stricken by the rain
Just as I think things are done
They begin again
Lyrics don't have their rhyme
Leaves have lost their shine
Forced to watch, wait, and see
Do you remember me?

A Moon melted by snow
Darkness appears so clean
What is it that I don't know?
Your love has made me a fiend
Searching for a something to say
Looking for a reason to know
Do you remember me?

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

2011: Year In Review!

2011-12-31T14:08:00.003Z

I will not write too much but I can say that it has been an excellent year overall. I have been able to experience things I have never experienced previously and also learn a lot about who I am and what I allow myself to accept and vice versa.

For all of you that are reading this blog I hope that 2011 has brought you much more joy than pain, much more clarity than confusion, and much more love than dislike and hate. 2012 will be what you make it, although our steps are in divine order! Be safe and enjoy the rest of 2011 and the beginning of 2012!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

The Things A Black Woman Won't Do!! Volume 1

2011-12-28T01:45:00.008Z

I was in Ocho Rios yesterday and decided to take a tour of the Dunn's River Falls and also snorkel. Being that I can not swim I must say it was an amazing experience! If it was not for Melissa(a cute life guard), I would probably still be floating in the Caribbean Sea starting from Ocho Rios to Montego Bay, in the stomach of a shark (insert Snickers Peanut Butter Squares commercial here...Clint was delicious) or would have assumed room temperature. I digress.

There were two guys from D.C. that I met as we were taking the tour bus there and oddly enough, we were the only Black males on the bus (minus the driver). In addition, minus the people working on the tour cruise ship, we were the only Blacks on the ship. I should be more specific and once again state we were the only Black Americans on the ship. Lamarr and I were chatting about the lack of Black American ladies on the ship and how odd it was. So I got to thinking.

Come along and think with me... a.) We(3 Black American men) were on this ship snorkeling, about to climb up a waterfall, and partying with plenty of Rum Punch flowing; on a sail boat that was swaying up and down like a lunatic woman with menopause and no Black American women were on any three of the Cool Runnings tour boats.
b.) Forget it being the Christmas holiday, what does this mean?
c.) I must reiterate that 3, single, heterosexual, Black American men were in Jamaica, on vacation.
d.) a.), b.), and c.)...should say enough right there.
e.) So I am now going to add the sauce... Out of the law of averages and numbers...NO BLACK AMERICAN WOMEN were on the boat.

This has led to the blog that you are reading now. Why is it that Black American women won't do these things as what were being offered on the tour?

Let's begin...

1. Snorkel

Is it that the hair must not get wet? The imagination goes toward a previous situation I was in... *I'm trying to take a shower with my lady as foreplay but she won't because her hair must not get wet, so the man's idea of freakiness has gone down the tubes because of hair!* I can not swim at all. I went out there and tried it and had fun. Most of the Black ladies I know would not have done it because of hair, or because they would be too scared, or just add whatever excuse you want to it. Where is the adventure and the fun? It is not that bad of a risk as long as someone is there to help you and to also make sure that you DON'T DIE!!!

2. Climb the Dunn's River Falls

I will admit, I did not participate in the "wet walk" to climb the falls. I had bought all of the materials to do it but I decided to take the "dry walk"! I wanted to catch the scenery with my camera and since it is not waterproof I did not experience the "wet walk"! Despite my decision, it was still spectacular and fun. Again I searched, and did not see and Black American women climbing and I know damn well that Black American women would cringe, run, and cuss me out to even suggest it. To climb the waterfall, you have to join hands as a group and help each other up, around, down, thru, across, every which direction. For the most part, you are not in total control. Swimming is not a requirement, but you will get wet, drenched, and super-soaked! Is it the hair issue again or is it the not having total control of where you go? It is still the same scenario...there are people there to help you and will not allow you to fall (no pun intended) to your demise.

I am going to stop right here because I am going to continue this list on other occasions and other blogs, I was just blown away at what I did not see there. What say you?

1. Why are Black women so worried about hair, when there are plenty of great and exciting things to experience that will require hair to get frazzled or undone?

AND AS AN EXTRA BONUS...

2. Is a reason why a lot of Black women do not like White women dating Black men because White women are adventurous and willing to take risks?

What say you?

PLEASE NOTE...I am not generalizing, but it seems to be very common! I will not say ALL Black American women, I will say that most of the ones I have encountered will not do the aforementioned!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

A Princess And Her Pride!

2011-12-27T23:53:00.007Z

She admits that she is tired
So tired of looking for love
Should a princess have it this bad?
Yearning...
Wanting to lay claim to a man who can
Genuinely love her

It's true that every princess has cried
Over the simple things
Those minute things they don't posses
In an already plentiful life
It's funny that a man can make her world change
Living life would be right

When will someone one ask...
Why did he mistreat her?
Why did he tell her the lies?
Why did he not speak his mind?
Why did he play the games?
With his actions and words of deception
It has tainted her view.

She would rather accept the new
As just a copy of the old
In her eyes every man is the same
No alterations to his script
The show ends with her having experiencing the same pain
And nursing a broken heart

But soon she will realize
She's got to let it go
Don't let him get you down
Let everybody know
She'll put on her crown

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Hand Sanitizer Addiction Part 2 - Germs On A Plane!!

2011-12-23T22:43:00.004Z

I do a lot of traveling. Most of it is by way of an airplane. Recently (as in yesterday) I was traveling to Jamaica and lo and behold on the plane there were some hackers by that I mean cough-ers and to accompany that action there were
sneeze-ers. In addition to those two sounds I heard the dreaded sniffing and nasal sounds that make me cringe. Being that I am a germ-o-phobe as discussed in the first edition of this blog, I have decided to write again about my experience and
introduce one and all to

"Germs On A Plane"!

I was in total fear once again of getting sick. The air on an airplane for the most part, and in my opinion, stagnant. When someone coughed or sneezed around me I held my breath and made sure that the vent to allow a sort of circulation was within reach. I must stress again how I am just annoyed with it all. Improperly coughing into the hand, and not the sleeve. The nerve of some people not even covering their mouth when they coughed.

One woman I was walking toward coughed without even covering her mouth as I was entering the gate. I quickly just turned around and went back into the waiting
area, acting as if I had forgotten one of my belongings. Truth be told, I just wanted to get away from her, and her nasty self. I am sure she was probably wondering why I did such an abrupt about face, but who cares, she can keep her thoughts and her germs on and to herself.

I don't know if this is an over compulsive, over analyzed, over(__________ ...you fill in the blank)disposition in my part but it is just something I can not deal with., I once again implore you to never to take the Molecular Biology course I
took, it is frightening and I suppose I am once again a victim of it's grasp, it's images, and it's experiments.

What say you??

Have any of you done the same as I as far as attempting to protect yourself from germs that are potentially circulated on an airplane?

What do you do when you hear the coughing, sneezing, and sniffling when you are traveling via the air?

Do you have any tips to share that can help prevent someone from getting ill if ever in that situation?

HELP!! LOL

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Spontaneous Reactions - December 2011 Edition

2011-12-23T22:33:00.004Z

I am really trying to see where my love life is right now. Don't get me wrong I am enjoying the ability to be single, sexy, and free and that is going to get really tiresome at some point, I just don't know when.

I am sitting in Jamaica as I write this and I am totally relaxed, so the thoughts coming from my head are not from any type of stress or any situation, they are coming from a state of mind in which I am totally relaxed and worry free. As I should be, and that is how a relationship should be...totally relaxed and stress free.

As I get older I know that my prospects of landing a lady with no children is going to be very difficult. I have met two ladies that are very attractive in the past few weeks and yes they have children. So I will give them names so we can keep track of this. "Lady T" has one child that is in high school and eventually to college very soon. I can deal with that. The other young lady has two children and she will be named "Red". She has two daughters, and yet she does fit the bill (both do to be complete) I am still not happy with the child thing. I am continuously baffled and wonder if this "childless woman syndrome" that I have is going to have to come down to me using the big word of..."SETTLING"!

We all know that is the number one cause (at least in my opinion) of the relationship ambulance coming and declaring a relationship DEAD ON SETTLEMENT (DOS). I have done it before, because it was someone to do. Yeah I have to admit it. I sometimes call or go out with ladies because it is someone to do. I am feeling Ladt T, I just don't know how to get over her having a son. I am not saying that I want to be a father to him, but I am saying that I do not want to accept the responsibility of the POSSIBILITY of being a person responsible to him. I feel that is a big step and I am not ready for that.

I am sure most of you are saying... "Is this guy selfish?" or "Why is he worried about a child that is not his?" I will answer, because I can not be naive of the responsibility to me. This is not a game and I come from a single parent household. I am not sure I am ready to take in account the attitude and dispositions of my mate, and add a child or maybe 2 children into the mix...that is asking a lot.

So there is the Crawley issue and well I don't want to touch too much on it. I have fun with Crawley, we like a lot of the same things and yet well, I don't know. Maybe we can get together and maybe we can't. We are just friends and that is how we can swing it at this time.

I will use Dizzy's nickname for Tonya which is "Sunshine", I am about to lay it on the line...as I usually do and just anticipate rejection. I am really into the thought of her and I really being that power couple, but that remains to be determined. There is a sailboat waiting for me to go out into the Montego Bay and I will have to end this excursion of Spontaneous Reactions December 2011 edition! I'll Holla!!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

If there Wasn't A Christmas...

2011-12-22T15:14:00.008Z

The distinction between rich and poor, the have and have nots would be unknown.

Children would not get their annual "feel sorry for me" festival or "I just received my toy like I do every year because I am not as fortunate as others" emotion.

No one would have to hear the sprinkled Christmas carols that are played along with the Top 40 on the radio.

Department stores would have reasonable prices for everyone to purchase goods for their loved one's since it is the "season for giving".

The airlines would not make so much of a profit since everyone wants to travel abroad to visit family all around the world.

I wonder how things would be if there wasn't a Christmas?

We wouldn't get the random text message from someone we do not know or have not spoken to in a long time.

The carbon footprint would be much less since trees would not be chopped down only to be thrown away in the trash.

Depression and anxiety would be down since others would not feel jealous about their family status.

People would net get into relationships that were false and under the preface of receiving s gift from someone they pretend they care about and/or love.

Credit Card companies would not try to give you rewards for spending money that many people have a hard time paying back or do not have at all.

Crime would not be a factor because people would not try to splurge on large ticket items.

I wonder how things would be if there wasn't a Christmas?

Christmas albums from random artists that no one has ever heard of and /or artists that have tons of original music, would not try to sell the same songs, with the same lyrics, with the same melody, with the same chord progression, just sung a different way to people.

Someone would get a bright idea that the kids do have a great memory and they remember that Santa last year does not look like the Santa from this year.

Someone would get the idea that the traditional Christmas colors are quite awful and someone should change them.

Whoever cooked Thanksgiving dinner can actually just cook the exact same thing for Christmas.

I wonder how things would be if there wasn't a Christmas?

There wouldn't have been a pretty cool dude named Jesus born! That's a reason to celebrate in itself!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!!

Click

2011-12-13T00:05:00.006Z

Digital Girl
What happens when I hit send?
What really went on when I heard that click to tickle you with silent gratification?
Touching your icon...sensations?
I think I might have missed your target
Did I initiate travel to your virtual world?
An adventure that I thought I could never transform into shame
Yet I explore your silent glare through books of faces
Joined at the hip with dead cells
That you tend to ignore
Make the interactions live and it's better

I played by your rules of planning and understanding
I didn't want to be a riddle intertwined in a riddle
I accepted my role and stepped back
Never tried to press the envelope in your digital mail
Electronic notes simply made to confirm your truthful uttering
Before you hit the send tab
Are you sure you want to send this message?
Are you sure you want to send this message with

I'll sit and watch the channels change
I'll just sit
Listen to the channels change
We just don't click

The Peyton Manning Issue!

2011-12-08T20:15:00.003Z

I live in the Washington D.C. area which is home to the NFL football team the Washington Redskins. I was listening to the sports radio program today and it was being said that if Peyton Manning was to be traded from the Indianapolis Colts, that the Redskins would be a great destination for him. Let me say this with the utmost respect to Redskins and Manning fans...

DO NOT TAINT AND RUIN THAT MAN'S CAREER BY HAVING HIM COME AND PLAY FOR THE REDSKINS!! HELL TO THE F'N NO!!!!!

Thanks! by the way...GO 49ers!!!!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Tweetheart...Please Tweet Responsibly?

2011-12-06T21:45:00.001Z

I don't have a quick or itchy Twitter finger to tweet something that I feel in the 140 characters allotted.

Let's say I did, and you know what? I would not give a damn who is offended (provided I am not threatening or trying to intentionally hurt someone) what someone might feel about it. It is my Twitter or social networking page and those that follow, follow for a reason. Maybe they agree with what I tweet. Or maybe they don't agree and love my handsome face. LOL Or maybe it is none of the above, I guess they would have their own reasons.

Much like I do on this blog (in more than 140 characters) is give you my opinion, share my poetry, and offer you my thoughts on particular topics. People may agree, disagree, or what have you, I can not control the way you feel about what I say. I can only control how I say and convey my thoughts to you. Remember the rule, you can only control what you do not what everyone else does. Words are powerful, but remember we are writing and there are no voice inflections or tone that we can see or hear. Yeah some folks use all caps to yell, but really that is not even the case. You still can not hear them.

I have seen many people get in trouble and hot water with the media because of what they tweeted. Is it really that serious? Please refer to the blog entitled What You Eat Don't Make Me Shyt! It is not that serious at all.

I often wonder why people try to test the waters of free speech and expression they way that they do. Some stuff is controversial when said and some stuff isn't. When it is not controversial people do not have any clue of the First Amendment, oh but when some shyt goes down, LOOK OUT...the memory of the First Amendment is ever present in the mind. GET OVER IT!

We are allowed to say what we like in this country. I would like to think that all individuals are allowed to say what we like anywhere in the world. There is no problem in speaking your mind. However, there is a consequence for what you say. That is what many people forget.

So I may some something wild in this blog or someone may tweet something weird and unruly to their "tweethearts" and well, that is when the consequences come into play. You may be able to predict them and some you may not, the point is that there is a reaction.

Before you hit that send to anyone whether you are tweeting your heart away, blogging, texting, e-mailing, writing, singing, farting, pooping, whatever it is...you are free to do it. Just beware of the consequences that follow.

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

So do we have to take responsibility in what we tweet. When did the world become so aware and needing people to tweet responsibly?

God Don't Like Ugly!!

2011-12-06T18:35:00.000Z

Whenever you tell me no...
I don't like it
Yes I spite it
With every good reason...
The good Lord knows I don't like it
Free up some time for me
'Cause God don't like it
And you know
He don't like ugly

I invite you
I want to do
I beg of you
To do what you could do
And it's like I always compete
Your career versus me

I wonder if I give Father Time a sleeping pill
Would I be the first person you attempt to see?
I ask myself...
Why do you do this to me?
And I still wait patiently.

Whenever you tell me no...
I don't like it
Yes I spite it
With every good reason
The good Lord knows I don't like it
Free up some time for me
'Cause God don't like it
And you know
He don't like ugly

Will you please
If you please
Please could you please
Give yourself a chance
To stop running from what's supposed to be
Your future with me

You said that you are avoiding some decisions in your life
I'm not pushing you to go either way
Even though you left me to follow your dreams hundreds of miles away
I know you're going to have to stop and rest one day

And when you do...
You can call me
Or text me
And when you do...
E-mail me
Or Skype me
And when you do...
Tweet me
Or Inbox me
And when you do...
And when you do...
And when you do...

I Love You But, God Love You More!

AMY WINEHOUSE...RESPECT HER!

2011-12-06T12:39:00.003Z

I am a huge Amy Winhouse fan. I feel she had more talent than Beyonce', Alicia Keys, Keri Hilson, and some of the other female artists that are force fed to us to be main stream! I give her mad respect for also igniting Jazz classics that I used to perform into gems. In tribute to her, I will place this video of her singing a song I used to play with my band In addition, her tribute album releases today in stores!!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

This is dedicated to my future wife...

2011-12-04T01:46:00.003Z

I want to post this as a tribute to the lady I marry...whomever that lady might be!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Forever Young (Dedeicated to my friend Leah for her 30th Birthday! 12/4/11)

2011-12-03T04:26:00.001Z

What does it mean to be bound by the very things you accept, only to be told that you are wrong to live and abide by them?
It is no longer a journey to see who is the most popular.
It is no longer the willingness to adapt to what has been seen either in person or on a television screen.
It is the ability to believe in the real, have faith in what can not be seen, and frolic with the realization of my dreams.

I do not look like or emulate anyone else, nor do I want to.
I made my changes to help extend my life on the basis of good health, that being mental and physical.
Many might have passed me by because of aesthetics...
They passed by graciousness
They ran away from ambition
They looked past intelligence
They breezed by strength
They snubbed purity
They disqualified uniqueness
They ousted humbleness
They ignored non-traditional style
And rushed away from pure beauty.

Though my life has been filled with tragedy and triumph, I relish my humble beginnings and appreciate them like no other.
I pass no judgement on those who can share the experiences or those who can not relate, we are all living and striving in this world together.
Some still wish to set themselves apart, feeling that they are much more prestigious doing that. That is not me, because I am and will always be me.

So, I have reached a milestone that I am thankful to see, and that others have not had an opportunity to.
I am more confident than ever in my life and bathe in the idea of simplicity.
The simple things is what happiness is all about.
From the crashing of waves on the banks of a river bed, to the crumbling of bark off an oak tree, I enjoy it...it is simple and plain yet extraordinary to see...like me!

I offer myself these few directives to stay Forever Young...
Laugh...
Live...
Love...
Leah!!!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!!

BE-ITCH's Games!

2011-12-02T13:24:00.002Z

I do not like Crawley's room mate. I do not like her with all of the fiber of being I have within me. Her room mate will be called for the purposes of this blog BE-ITCH! Notice the spelling and pronunciation of the name I have given to BE-ITCH. I have said to Crawley many times that BE-ITCH is a very rude and jealous specimen of life. Crawley of course being the person she is makes not an excuse, but more of a good omen and reason for BE-ITCH being the way she is. The topic of discussion changed from BE-ITCH into the living of that very fair thing called life.

I decided to expand upon this ideological explanation of using playing cards and the game of Poker. You are dealt the hand you have and in the process of living you have no choice but to play the hand in the game and hope that you can win that particular round. Notice I said particular round. I think that many people feel that they are not going to have another round to play the game OR that they must play the hand that has been dealt like it is their last. There isn't a problem with either choice, but I happen to choose the round system.

None of us can change the initial deal, the initial point of play, the family members you have, the mother, the father, the brother, the sister, and so on. What we can do is choose our friends wisely and that takes plenty of practice. The selection of friends however, is not just what you select, and also the selection of the other party. Can you play together with your friend, or not?

I think Crawley has played with BE-ITCH for years. I can only assume that she has been the one to change the cards that she has been dealt by trading some with the Dealer and keeping others. Is that a game of trading blessings? Just a thought and I digress. The one thing any of us can not do is complain about a hand that some one else has or fortunate enough to maintain and even given at times.

That's how I feel about BE-ITCH! She is immature and feels that the game and the Dealer owes her a good hand. She feels that she can cheat and look at the hands of others and criticize their selection of cards. BE-ITCH will also let others in their own games know what the people she knows and associates with is doing with their game cards. BE-ITCH will also back bite to get an advantage in the game.

I am not writing this because I am a bad person and I want to put BE-ITCH on blast, but there are people in the world that will suck you dry and then look at you from the corner of their eye and a snicker in their speech and tell you that you are to blame. Some will play the game against you and make you feel guilty for what they could control...(trading, picking new cards, or opting not to play that round, or even not to wager as high as someone else might) and only they could control it. There comes a time when individuals who are nice and respectful have to put their foot down and distance themselves from those hating people. Once again I am not trying to gossip...I am only worried about my friend.

Crawley sees the good and I worry that the good she sees is nothing but a bluff. I hope this is not true and that Crawley is not hurt or harmed in the process. They say that misery loves company, what do you do if the company is living with you?

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Promiscuous Wisdom

2011-11-23T05:47:00.006Z

Wisdom is gained by living. We don't think the way we used to think. I would hope that is the case, but there are some that don't mature in their state of mind. However, I feel that as technology advances, and emphasis is placed on what you have attained in life, people have become dumber...okay just plain damn stupid and of course petty. Here are a few examples:

Books vs. Nooks/E-Books - People have gone on and decided that turning pages is now obsolete because...they take too much room and can be burned easily. Hmmm..you can burn a Nook or E-book as well. If your battery runs low and doesn't function, don't you wish you could then turn a page? Besides, they still sell books with wonderful crisp and printed pages in the book store...after all of these years!

Cell Phones vs. Land Line Phones - I can say that a cell phone is useful but the phones are too smart are doing too much. Playing music, taking pictures and videos, sending photos back and forth, tracking your position in the world, and so on. In addition, they have so many applications that the battery will die after a few uses away from the charger. I love my land line phone. I know that if the power goes out, no charge left on my cell phone, and the cell towers are experiencing interference, I will be able to still use my trusty land line phone. I remember when phones needed wires in the wall to work. Now that there are no wires for the phone to function we still have to pay for service? I am pissed about that.

Cable Box vs. TV Antenna - I do enjoy cable programming. I don't watch too much television, but I do like the channels that I watch that are not on basic network television. I also remember when we had rabbit ears and aluminium foil to place on the TV antenna for reception. Someone tell me this...why is it that we now have cable wires in our homes when we didn't need them to work before? Just like the damn phones, we are still paying for service.

Alcoholic Beverages, Clothing Lines, Jewelry Lines, Fragrance, etc. - Now I know there is a difference between top shelf liquor and all of the rest, but it seems now that everyone has a damn drink. Pharrel, Diddy, Jay-Z, and other Hip-Hop artists and Hip-Hop wanna Be's have some type of side hustle to make their name and/or brand more relevant. Is there any difference though from the newly made drinks and the top shelf regulars. All I can say is that if it is a new drink it has to work their way to the top shelf list. In addition, people quote their drink combinations like they are going to get some clout and an extra 50 cents in their paycheck for it. Some say with a snotty face...I only drink...Ciroc and cranberry, Parrot Bay and pineapple, Jack and Pepsi, Henny and kool-aid. Thanks for the info and stop shaking you head like a snob when you say it too! Justin Beiber, Michael Jordan, Atlanta Housewives, All VH1 reality television stars, Beyonce, Usher, Diddy, etc. please stick to your day jobs and leave the fragrances, clothing, shoes, etc. to those that went to school for it. Keep your name to yourself and in your own mouth.

Shoes - This is a big one. I remember going to a party recently and my friend had on an authentic pair of Christian Louboutin stiletto shoes. She pointed out to me the many ladies at the party that were wearing the fake red bottom shoes. I took her word for it because she is a shoe freak and used to work for a high-end shoe store. All I will say is that the trend to purchase brand names has not ever fallen down by the wayside nor has the amount of ladies buying the fake or knockoff brand. The point I am making is why even front like it is the real thing. The authentic has red bottoms and yours have pink. Don't say the designer did an exclusive line for breast cancer awareness when you know they are fake and no one can even verify the designer made a special pair for that cause. It is a damn shame!

This is just a partial list and I will add more as I see the need to or have the stuff on my mind. Feel free to add more as well.

I Love You But, God Loves You More!!

Birthday Lessons

2011-11-17T12:24:00.001Z

I am happy to be 34 years young and looking like it. I also feel like it as well. I will say that there is one thing that I have learned this year that will stick with me:

DO NOT PUT YOUR INSECURITIES ON SOMEONE ELSE!

This goes for me as well. I did the same thing in my past and I have got to tell you i have learned from it and apologized to those that I have done that to. Now in a reversal of fortune i am being handed the same fate from others, and I am dealing with it in a different fashion. I deal with it!

So for this Mother's Day (since this is the day my mommy became one) I offer that lesson to all. Don't do it! Be happy with yourself before you go and try to take part in mess that you know you can not handle!!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Twilight vs.True Blood

2011-11-16T03:20:00.003Z

I know there is a phenomenon these days with vampires and such, so please help me to understand the difference between the two: Twilight and True Blood.

Besides being vampire shows or movie, what are they dealing with? I may become a fan!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Where has good customer service gone?

2011-11-15T20:11:00.000Z

For some reason when I go shopping, the music is so loud I can not hear myself think, nor hear a sales associate say hello or ask if I need any assistance (if they even speak or ask if you need assistance).

Recently, I went to the mall looking for a few clothing items, and although the stores I shop at may be trendy, it bothers me that the level of disrespect to a customer is instant and accepted by customers.

I remember when I worked retail in 1996 as an Undergrad in college. I was trained to greet the customer and stand a distance away from them, not to seem or look overbearing. I spoke to the customer and sometimes even had a conversation that was not related to the product the store was selling. In any event, I was taught to not look desperate to sell, but also not look aloof and unwilling to help the customer.

Essentially, their money pays my paycheck and all others that are employees of the establishment. Nowadays, the customer associates feel that they are the entitled ones and that

"They don't need to sell the clothes because the clothes sell themselves"!

" I have never seen a store in which the clothes become animated objects and ask customers to buy them. If anyone reading this has seen it and experienced it..please leave a comment and let me know where I can see this amazing feat!

Here are a few tips for those that work in the business of retail customer service:

1. Address others using a proper salutation...

What's up?

is not proper customer service verbiage.
2. Do not stalk the customer into making a sale...

Knowing some people (including me) I may fart in your general direction to get you to get the hell off of me.

3. When you swipe my credit card give it back afterward IMMEDIATELY...

Why are you holding on to it? You swiped it and it worked so gimme my shyt!!

4. Stay off of the phone. That includes cell phone and land line phones...

Pay attention to the customer. We are providing you with your paycheck. Not the person on the phone. If it is not business related to the store or an emergency...stay off the phone until there are no customers to be tended to.

5. Be gracious! Say please and thank you!

We didn't screw you last night, so have some respect! We owe you nothing!

6. Ask if we need assistance.

We as customers should not have to follow you around or wait for an associate to help us. Ask if we need help, and then if we need it we will tell you either right then or later.

7. Turn the damn music down!!

If we wanted to go to a concert we would have bought a ticket to go! We are in the store because you are selling and item, not selling tickets. Keep the music as a moderate level!!

DO THE OPPOSITE OF THIS FAMOUS SKIT...

If you have any other points to add to the list, please do! I just feel that since the Holiday season is approaching, someone needs to make the message clear!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Cell Phone Ringback Tones!

2011-11-10T00:24:00.004Z

If you dial my cell phone number...you will hear a regular, tried and true, common ring. RIIIINNNGGGGG RIIINNGGGGGG RIIINNNNGGG Then either after that ring you will hear me speak to you live or hear a recored voice mail introduction.

These days you can be entertained with Bach and Mozart, Keri Hilson and Lil' Wayne, Shania Twain and Kenny Chesney, or by annoying sounds made by any cartoon character of your choosing (I prefer Stewie!)

I think it is very dumb. I don't know what else to do when I call a cell phone and the owner has music playing then when they recognize the phone is ringing they answer like it is nothing new just the same old regular RIIINNGGGG. They answer like it is some common form of communication. I suppose these people let the phone RIIINNGGGGG so that their ring tone plays for a while. I digress! I prefer the wonderful RIINNGGGGG that I spoke of before.

I also wonder if these people remember why folks call them or even the types of individuals and professional entities calling about important matters. To have a ridiculous ring back tone I feel would be embarrassing. We cal people to be entertained by their conversation not their ring back tone. I don't know, maybe it is my old fashioned nature!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

(Herman) Cain is Able!!

2011-11-04T22:22:00.004Z

Although I do not agree with all of Cain's views, I will say that from watching news reports, press conference, clips of his speeches, and town hall meetings, I feel that Herman Cain will be the 2012 Republican nominee for the 2012 United States Presidential election. Now this may rub some people the wrong way, but I feel that the Republicans will take the stance of...

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

I won't say that President Obama is not doing a good job, but there are some concerns of a personal nature. I will not get into the specifics, but I will say that one of the main points for the election will be job growth. Congress is to blame as well, not passing the job Bill that Pres. Obama has put into place for the country to spark job growth. People need to work, and all of these crazy line item disagreements are causing those who need jobs not to be able to have an opportunity to work. I digress.

Herman seems to be a candidate that will cause, to me, the biggest match between two Black men since, Ali and Frazier, Hagler and Leonard, Liston and Clay, hell King Kong and Godzilla 9Okay so their are not human nor Black, but you get my point). This will be an election that will polarize the country as well as the Black community.

I think those two in a debate would be like 2 gentlemen in the barber shop arguing passionately about something that is near and dear to their hearts. Let me tell you, I have seen some arguments in the barber shop that will amaze you. If you have been to a Black barber shop and seen fellows debating...it is comedic to say the least!

Imagine how a debate would be with Pres. Obama and Herman Cain? It will be funny! It will be highly contested, and the urge for those two to get loud and proud will be there! Those two are professionals and will keep the peace. I will say their arguments and election running points will be duly noted and argued at barber shops around the country. LOL

Of course there is a lot of time between now and the 2012 election (about a year) and much can happen in that period of time, but do not be surprised if Cain will be the nominee for the GOP!

What are your thoughts?

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

HeR StUpId QuEsTiOn...

2011-11-04T03:55:00.003Z

Miss. Staley still owes me money!
She has broken her promise time and time again concerning paying me back!
I called to try to see when she would pay!
She gets an attitude, because I inform her that she has not kept her word!
Then she says...

Are you press for money or something?

My response should have been...

No! You must be pressed for money because you haven't paid me!

Such a shame!!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Hand Sanitizer Addiction!

2011-11-03T15:57:00.006Z

Yes it is true. Ever since I took Molecular Biology to earn my Master's degree a few years back, I have been obsessed with washing my hands and using hand sanitizer. I even hold my breath when walking past someone after they sneeze. It is that serious! Call me a germ-o-phobe, but I am just that! LOL! Look, I do not want to get sick and I know one of the main ways to get sick is from not washing or sanitizing your hands constantly. Here are a few things that I have become obsessive in doing:

1. I have a bottle of hand sanitizer in both of my cars.
2. I bring in sanitizer when I am going to the movies and out to eat with someone.
3. I try not to go to a buffet style meal because I do not know who has washed their hands, as many people grab the serving utensil at the buffet bar!
4. I wash my hands before and after using the bathroom and yes even the public bathroom.
5. I watch when someone is serving food to notice if their hands are touching it or if the food is near their mouth. I do not want any one's breath on my food but mine.
6. I constantly clean my phone and phone that I use in public, so that I will not encounter germs entering my ear or on my face.
7. Finally!!! Don't take that damn Molecular Biology course! It will scare the hell out of you!!

I know that there are some things that you can not help in life, and I just want to try to do the best I can to control what I can control for my sake, and maybe someone else. So yes I will continue to be that germ-o-phobe... and overly obsessive hand sanitizer (and clean) freak!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Check out part two by clicking here.

"If anybody asks you who I am..."

2011-11-02T23:45:00.001Z

I was running on the treadmill when this song came on my IPOD. I remember that this particular got me through the Summer of 2003. Let me just add...I AM the world's greatest!!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!!

Why hide behind your truth??

2011-11-02T01:18:00.006Z

A man did her wrong after 3 years of being in a relationship and/or marriage. On the same token, she is able to have meaningless sex with no strings attached, and she says, "I don't want to be loved!" she also says, "I'm a bitch!" Knowing damn well it is just and act! Another lady says that she is extremely busy and tied down with her job and that she is focused solely on her career. It is what she wants to do right now and that a man is not her objective. Yet and still when a good guy is staring her in the face, she runs away and talks about how her career is going and is so successful! To the man she says is great and wonderful...to be with someone else, when his eyes are on her! Another woman is prideful and is so stuck on the aroma of her pride that she will not even notice or recognize the scent of a man...even a good man! She is convinced that she is too independent and self-reliant to even have a thought about a gentleman in her life.

This blog is not to delve into the specifics of relationships with women or the lack thereof, this blog is to bring to light about what a lot of women (and men as well) do and that hide behind the truth.

All of us have various trials and tribulations that we have had to overcome. In addition, we speak honest and frank about these situations because for the most part we are over them, take a humble stance about how we got over them, and essentially made you a better person. That should be the end of it. That should be the point made when we are supposed to move on in our lives. That is the point when we do not look back and make reference to it like it is in the present. Yeah, supposed to..should be...could be...for the most part and for various ladies I have met...it is not te case.

Why use the truth as your calling card (as Crawley would like for me to get..a calling card) as to why you are not able to do something. The truth is being used as a shield as to why your life will not progress or move in a direction forward. Not path of circumvention and askew points of direction that do not lead you to go forward, but you come back to the same point saying...

I can't...Because...I was and Still not able to..Because...and that is the truth!

I look at my past as my past. It did take awhile to get to that realization in my life, and I did it! I will not use the truth as a shield to live behind because no one can see you, all a person will see it a wall of truth...not you! I don't know why or how that has become a norm, but it has. It is just like people putting their insecurities on you and telling you to deal with it, when they are the one's with the problem. You have person that tells you the truth about their life and tell you the reason they can not __________ (fill in the blank) is because of someone or some mishap in the past. That's a damn shame!

As I have said before and I will continue to exclaim...A jeweler will place a diamond behind the black or dark felt to make the diamond seem and appear brighter. The cloth serves as a symbol of that dark and opaque background hat symbolizes the truth, your obstacle you have overcome, that awful happenstance from previous destinations in your journey through life! That is what I suggest people who hide behind what ever your truth is... to do. Place it behind you so that everyone will see that you are shining bright. Remember this...Time heals all wounds, the object is to forget when and where the scars are!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!!

Spontaneous Reactions... October 2011 Edition

2011-10-31T20:35:00.006Z

So this month has not been what I expected it to be, but it was not totally bad. I guess I will use this forum to lay out some stuff and yes I will use names because I have no other alternative but to use them.

I am happy about my San Francisco 49ers and I can't wait to see them play live for 3 weeks in a row! Go 49ERS!!!

I am pretty surprised that I told Tonya how i feel and that I am so calm about it. Grant it she may not feel the same way i about me that I do about her but i am not really concerned as much as I was previously. I will say that I was in this position before with another famous deceased musician's daughter years ago. Who was also born in December and who also treated me the same as Tonya has. I am finding that people do repeat history and it is odd it has happened to me again.

Miss. Staley still owes me the money I have let her borrow. I find it odd that She mentioned it back in July, but still has not gotten back on schedule with the payment. Now it has become a principle thing with me. So she and i are not together and at first I was mad about it but now I am not/ I am glad she dumped me so I can see her true colors. She is not true to her word when she has to sacrifice. She can pay for trips to California, her new home, and her daughter's sweet 16 birthday party, but not for a debt that she promised to pay. How we learn in time and as the old folks say by and by!

The dating life I have to say is cool. I am not really tripping over the prospects but I do find myself being intuitive enough to know when something will work or not. There is a lot of time that ladies want a man to give to them, and yet and still they don't even know what they want. I suppose i shall continue to just chill and let it me. It has been working well when there are no expectations.

I completed the revamp of my cover letter with the help of Michelle (Cotton Candi) and Carita. I am very pleased to have 2 different cover letters that highlight my career in Chemistry and education. I look forward to the job offers that will soon follow. Maybe i will revamp my resume' too.

I am thinking about my surgery again and wonder what I will do when Friday gets here. Maybe I will have to go under the knife again..we will soon see.

I am excited about my trip to San Fran and also to Jamaica. I am just ready to relax and meet some new people. I am going to have fun!

Crawley is learning so much from me and also from the advice i have given her. I am glad about that! She is going to be alright and even better than ever when she gets through her rough time.

I am a little sad that my phone had to be reset. I lost some phone numbers and now have to go back and find them through the website. Oh well I guess it will do me well to do that and also backup my contacts on my SD disk.

This is all for now..but stay tuned...more will be coming!!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!1

Reaping Rewards During the Recession!

2011-10-02T00:37:00.001+01:00

In this time of economic depression and recession I have found that people can still be rewarded and be given the things that they desire. Money,a new job, new love, even a new car. It is quite easy to fall into the trap the media has set and all that the media will report using the agenda setting theory towards the economy and the amount of money lost in a particular company or bank, the amount of jobs lost per day in the country, how bad things are, and the long expected waiting time that any measurable change will be felt or seen.

Not I! I refuse to be sucked into the realm of hopelessness, despair, and utter humility that is obviously the way these folks want you and I to think and feel. Even in the times of recession I am quite sure…I am a living example of reaping rewards in times of having nothing!

Now the way to do this may be real easy in word…but difficult for some in deed. GIVE! Yes that is right GIVE! It is not a hard concept at all to be able to be successful in the times that we live that are supposed to be so bad!
I look at the greed that has plagued many of these bankers and CEO’s of these large corporations and all they did was take and take and not give any concern about from whom they were taking…okay let me be real…stealing from.

Now some of these wealth hungry individuals don’t know what to do because they have stolen so much and taken so much to the point that they may face jail time.…legal hearings….public embarrassment….beat-downs of the physical and mental sort.…and the list could go on for eternity. I have learned that you can give in this day and age and still reap the rewards.

It is sometimes as simple as smiling at someone, holding the elevator…even if the person is walking slower than black molasses out of the jar…allowing someone to fulfill what they would like to do in the office or elsewhere.

I can truly say that I try to give that gift of laughter...yeah I know I am crazy, corny, funny, weird, and all of the above! I hear you folks snickering over there…but it is truly a joy to be able to give. You will see when you do that…there is no recession…no news report that can get you down.

I will also say that I am a realist and that sometimes we need to receive what has been worked for…deserved…and so on and so forth. I am fully aware that people just don’t want jobs but need them…give to those folks as well. Give them tips and help them with their resume’. I can only imagine how valuable that is to those that need the assistance. We can all reap rewards during recession!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

October 2011..Let's Do It Again!

2011-10-02T00:21:00.003+01:00

It is October again and yes I am excited to whatever new adventures it will bring. I already see some changes that are happening in a positive fashion for me and it is really cool. A lot has changed and I have changed since October 2010 and one thing is for sure that this year will not disappoint. So October 2011 I am here and waiting for the new experiences!!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

Uncertainty!

2011-09-01T02:24:00.004+01:00

I'll keep this very short. As certian as I am about things in my future I am very uncertain. All I know right now is that I have opportunities and am I going to take them. I know the woman I want to be with although she is in something with someone else...I really know from my mind and my heart being in sync that she is the "one". I know this is a big change from what I have written about in the past.

As far as my career, well I have many opportunities there...I know that I can do many jobs if I want and I am waiting to see what will happen. I also know that I can move from the DC area if I would liikw to as well. More on that in another blog to be written at some point in the future. So hey pray for me folks!!

I Love you But, God Love's You More!!

Tattoo

2011-07-19T01:38:00.005+01:00

WHERE IS IT THAT I AM SUPPOSED TO HIDE?
WHEN WILL THIS JOURNEY WILL CHANGE?
YOU MIGHT SAY I HAVEN'T TRIED OR EVEN MADE AN ATTEMPT
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PEACE IN ME.
CAN YOU FORGET WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW?
CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT WHICH YOU HAVEN'T KNOWN?
CAN YOU RECOGNIZE THE UNFAMILIAR PATH?
IS IT REALLY THAT EASY TO DO?
SO EASY FOR YOU...
TO INSPECT MY SHOES?

HOW CAN I FORGET WHAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL?
MY FLESH CAN LIE, BUT MY SOUL CRIES TEARS TRUTHFULLY
REMEMBER WHAT OTHERS HAVE MENTIONED CONCERNING ME?
THOSE VOICES DON'T MAGICALLY DISAPPEAR
EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME, I STILL HEAR THEM CLEARLY AND DISTINCTLY
THE WHISPERS OF WORDS SLICE THROUGH MY SKIN
CAN I ACT LIKE I DON'T KNOW?
CAN I PERCEIVE WHAT I DON'T WISH FOR?
CAN I TAKE FOOTNOTES FROM MY FUTURE?
IS IT REALLY THAT EASY TO DO?
SO EASY FOR YOU...
TO INSPECT MY SHOES?

THE MORNING IS SUPPOSED TO BRING ME JOY
WHILE TEARS STAIN THE NIGHTS
IT'S NOT HUMAN TO BE BLIND TO THE INNOCENCE
WITHIN THE SMILE OF A CHILD
I WISH THAT CHILD WAS ME
PLAYING IN DIRT
NO CARES ABOUT THE WORLD
WASHING OFF THE DUST
SIMPLE AND FREE
AND THEN LIFE IS CLEAN AGAIN
QUESTIONS NEVER DIFFICULT TO ASK OR ANSWER

WHY IS FAIRNESS ALWAYS MISSING?
WHY IS THE BEST PLACED AS LAST?
IS IT REALLY THAT EASY TO DO?
SO EASY FOR YOU,
TO INSPECT MY SHOES

I Love You, But God Love's You More!!

Freaky Songs To Initiate Good Sex!

2011-07-19T00:12:00.004+01:00

I was driving home last night and I was enjoying the music coming from my Zune. It was just pumping... loud as I could have it going back home in traffic from 495! The random play list was spitting out jams that would cause anyone to groove and then it happened…two songs back to back…odd as can be...made me want to …well find me a lady…and have freaky, rug burn, circus sex...Please see the blog Box Spring Boogie! Now many of you have been in that mood with your mate, and may have had that song to set things off?

I can not den that if a lady wants to drive me nuts in a freaky and sexual fashion she can use particular songs played in a specific order along with some affectionate actions and she will get me harder than Differential Equations! LOL

So which tunes make it "happen" for you? Ladies...I am not going to keep a record, you already know I have other ways to cause sexual instability!! Ha ha ha ha!!!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Not Your Typical Love Poem

2011-07-11T19:52:00.002+01:00

This isn’t your typical love poem
And knowing how sneaky this bitch is
I don’t want to speak too loud because she’s listening
I do love her, but I know with no doubt in my mind
That she doesn’t and will never love me

I don’t know how many men she has been with
She’s not your typical Match.com girl
I’m sure we all have experienced that moment
When you see the sexiest profile pic

Check out her stats…
She has got the body of a goddess
Curved and shapely
Got the right peaks and valleys you know?
She’s not that tall and has some wide ass hips
Like coast to coast
Then baby got that ripped flat interior section
I was so intrigued
Until I saw that face…
Face from hell!!
But I said to myself…
Ugliness can be fixed…I mean we do all have our faults

So I read her greeting
She says she is not shy
And her sex is irresistible
All you have to do is cum
She even went on to say that when her sexual faucet
Straight down the middle over flows…
Move away because she isn’t a squirter
She’s a gusher
So you know I had to save this profile as a favorite

Where does my love for her originate?
I guess it was the poems that she wrote
A piece about her finally being liberated and independent
Another about how men can do right about her
I loved her strength and confidence in the words she would display.
I loved her ideals
I loved the way I felt when I would explore her

Then I matured and saw more than I thought I would ever see
And understood that she may have matured
In her size
In her look
In her attributes
But mentally
Her ass is still a child!
She is pretty fucked up in the brain and I try not to fuck with her like that

I Googled her one night and I found out some interesting shit
Her fucked up ways started when she was born
She’s a bastard
Her relatives couldn’t agree on a name for her
They tried to bring some stability and a mother’s love to her young life
But all she ever saw and learned to do from a young age was how to fight, confuse, bicker, argue, gossip, gold dig
And of course…Fuck!

The father figures in her life helped to tarnish her
I guess if she would have had a mother, she wouldn’t walk around fuckin’ everyone and everything over, just for her own satisfaction
You know how us men are
We revel in what we can attain through any means…but not in a nurturing way

They did their best to give her a set of ideals and principles and made it plain and simple
Sort of like a set of rules
Laying down the law
Father’s with no help from Mother’s have their issues
This is the importance of a two parent household to keep one another in check
Children pay attention and will learn from your actions…
Just like she did

A father that helped to raise her was a great man and his legacy and achievements are known worldwide
But I remember my mother told me a long time ago
If it doesn’t come out in the wash?
It will come out in the rinse…
And when his closet full of secrets was opened and it was discovered the he had a weakness for the forbidden fruit of chocolate
All hell broke loose!
This secret was the subject of numerous arguments and long drawn out fights between her relatives punishable by humiliation and even death
All of her father’s were taking part in the same game!
It was kept on the down low…but everybody knew.
I feel sorry for the girl…
But I feel more sorry for me that I continue to love her

I’ll admit that she does have a soft place in her heart for those of her friends that are less fortunate and have fallen on hard times
But beware! Baby girl is gangsta if you dare to attempt to cross her
Check this out…

One brother was speaking sexy and soft love poems about his dreams of her
She got tired of hearing them since he wouldn’t let it be…
He got shot
Another brother was talking about her and what she did to him
I mean some real cold blooded shit that would make any woman mad
This chick went and got his brothers to terrorize him and get him to stop
Guess what?
He got shot
Now this one dude got done in real bad
He was protective of her, did all the right things and was a popular dude
Took an oath and vow of love and honor to her
For everyone to see
Then for some reason that no one knows
This bitch got mad at him and arranged a drive by shooting on him
She threatens to beat your ass in front of her friends…and threatens them too
If someone has the guts to attack her or throws a punch…she will fuck them up
And then fuck up someone else for general purposes
This bitch can take on many at one time…it’s a gang bang and she doin’ the fuckin’
She’s just a big booty bully ass bitch
Even with obvious proof and her prints on the gun…
Even with a written and recorded confession
The verdict is…
NOT GUILTY

She is a cocky bitch and will sling her pussy out and beg you to fuck her
She’ll fuck and throw her cum and your cum in your face…
She’ll take your cash
And leave you without a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out of
Sing her praises, she’ll curse you
Try to reason with her, she’ll ignore you
Ask for her help, she’ll turn a blind eye
And will dare you to leave her arms, claiming that you don’t love her
Knowing you won’t ever find a bigger, badder, bitch than she is
That’s her
She will fuck you, ya momma, daddy, and ya baby
And then label you the whore

This is not your typical love poem
I love her and she will never love me
I don’t care to fight for her to love me
I know she won’t return the love.
America…
This not so typical love poem is about you!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Don't date those native D.C. or DMV women!!!

2011-06-23T23:53:00.003+01:00

I broke a rule that I said I would not break. I placed myself in the category of not trying to generalize before I knew the whole story or the woman I was trying to get to know...and yet I was foiled again.

MY MISTAKE...I ONCE AGAIN TRIED TO DATE A WOMAN THAT WAS BORN AND RAISED IN THE DMV (DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA, NORTHERN VIRGINIA,SOUTHERN MARYLAND) AREA.

I am not the only person that has attempted to begin a relationship or something meaningful as far as a romantic relationship with a native Washingtonian and maybe I am wrong for generalizing, but when asking if they were born and raised in the DMV (especially D.C.) I will walk away and be glad I did if the answer is yes. I am sure there is someone reading this blog that will also agree whether it be the men or the women in which they have had a several bad experiences with. I can not pinpoint exactly what the problem is, but DMV natives have no integrity, no humility, evasive, cunning, and the list goes on.

I recently had to let one young lady from the Upper Marlboro area know that her acting skills are horrible. She told me verbatim that she doesn't want anyone to get to know the REAL her. CRAZY!! Yet this lady is complaining about men lying to her in the past and presently. Yeah...if you weren't lying to them about who you are maybe they would not lie to you. So I decided to leave her alone. I do not like free drama. I would rather pay for it...that is why I go to the movies and have cable.

Another young lady I met in a club in January. We communicated via phone and text messaging and she always pulled out of the scheduled times we were supposed to meet.It is ridiculous to think that it would take that long to finally meet someone again and the list of stories could not be supported. I should have known something was up then, but I remained patient. We finally had a date to meet and did so in June.

On a side note... There comes a time when the man stops trying to plan and tells a woman that the opportunity is now hers if she wants to see him. She knew I was getting to that point. I had to tell her, look if you have no interest, just say so since she has not attempted to even rectify her missed opportunities. It makes things difficult when one person is solely trying to arrange times to see and spend time with another.

So back to the date. Her language was full of game and her answers were evasive when I would ask her particular questions. You know how first dates go, you try to see who and what you are dealing with. So finally she admitted that I was not the guy for her...it isn't that difficult to know those things, she should have said something sooner.

So here it is people, if you want to take that risk of dating a DMV or D.C. native, DON'T! But if you do, let me be the first to tell you that you will be let down and frustrated. I hate to say it and generalize, but they are ALL the same.

What say you??

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

FOR THE LOVE OF WHIPS

2011-06-14T23:24:00.004+01:00

Lexus, baby you make me Saab
Even when you have you Ion me
I can’t seem to Escape your Shadow
Please Focus on the Prelude of our Accord
Let me be your Durango
And I will take out my Bronco…
No…my Excursion and be the Trailblazer of your Explorer
See, I’ll be the Trooper in your Expedition

But…no you want to trip out on me
You know damn well how Fiero my temper gets
When your head is up in the Stratus
Why do you want to believe what Sephia, Chevette, and Miata Echo’s
‘Cause she may be your Amigo, but Sonata makes it her Civic duty
To flip her shit like upside down port-a potties

So check this out…
Last night when we were standing in the Econoline trying to get into the Lumina
That Tahoe gathered up enough Esteem to try to do the Range Rover with my boy Hummer
So I know that is a Breeze you can’t Dodge

Tell me…
Why do you let your friends Eclipse our Sunfire?
Accent the positive and don’t let them Mirage you
Remember the time when we got our Passports
Bought tickets from Continental
‘Cause I couldn’t a Ford a Jetta to Montero
And opted to take the Concorde flight 626 to Malibu
Traveled to the beach feeling what the Sebring in Rio
Be Cirrus… it was the Altima when the Storm hit Metro and ruined the Festiva
We were stuck on Park Avenue in the Cavalier
So we got a little freaky and snuck on the Porshe and Probe all night long

See I’m trying to Navigator us to the Solara System
Chillin’ to Infiniti, doing our own Sundance
Sailing past Aerostars, from Mercury to Saturn
On our own Vigor(ous) Grand Prix
A Legacy of love must not make haste

But of course…you want to change the Tempo
Must you prove how independent you are?
You are my BMW (Black Man’s Woman) and it is about us!
We’ve got to be the Pathfinders of this Suburban Voyager
I’ll serve as your Escort on our Caravan to the Outback

But no!
Once again you must have the Maxima con-Fusion and tell me what your friends told you when you were on your Tercel phone!
How about my friends?
Bentley, Camry, Kia, and Corolla know that Mercedes Benz the truth!

That girl’s mouth runs faster than a Colt and we all know she is never Acura(te)!
Her Dynasty is known from here to Monte Carlo.
She has plenty of practice attempting to produce a Protégé!
How many Mustang’s has she taken the Liberty to Rodeo in her public X-Terra films?
Don’t Del Sol to her bullshit!

So can’t we be cool?
Can we step on the Sports Trac, be the 4-Runners, and set the Pacer of Jaguar and win this Grand Am of love?
I am sure we can be Galant in this Endeavor!
Let me be your Most Powerful Vehicle (MPV) and together
We can Escalade like an Eagle
We can soar like a Thunderbird and strike like a Viper
And then smile brighter than a Neon sign.
Come on,
Let’s Rolls Royce with Jimmy our Isuzu Pup and be Audi 5000

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

QUEEN

2011-06-14T22:53:00.002+01:00

You see the sista’s skin is smoother than silk
She has a flavor reminiscent of condensed milk
Queen has it going’ on I can’t deny
Her chest has this tat of a butterfly
You’ve got to admit that’s too fly
Baby girl even has the sweetest scent
Can’t tell if it’s
Hot Chocolate Delight
Butterscotch Caramel Cream
Pecan Rican Supreme
Or Mocha Mint
Playa’s would even stop creepin’
If they’re peepin’ what I’m peepin’
She’s the subject of my dreams when I’m sleepin’
I sometimes imagine being inside her thighs
Freakin’ her from the front, and the back
And I know baby girl has gots to ride
I try to not let my imagination run away
I’m just hoping that our eyes will meet in person…someday
I am just grateful that she’s my friend
A simple and humble lady that I can confide in
We talk about more than romance
Politics, world issues, health, and whatever topics come by chance
She’s real… and is what she seems
A once in a lifetime, certified, tried, and true…
Queen

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Victimless

2011-06-14T20:44:00.002+01:00

You were my night and my light
You were my midnight star
You were my sweet, cooling, breeze on midsummer’s day
You were my chocolate lemonade
If I was a bird, you would be the branch upon the tree that I would sit
and sing my melody to the world
Lord knows that I have tried
Time has come and gone and similarly
We have passed each other by
Disconnected like smiles from children
Dysfunctional like wishes granted by a genie from a broken lamp

So we ciphered through the good and the bad
Weighed and re-weighed the pros and cons of experiences old and new
But Lord knows I have tried
As time went on
The only joy you would receive
Would be for me to deny my love for you
Just to keep you satisfied
It should have never ended this way others would say to us
I paid no attention to the opinions of the critics
But you did

How many more times must we repeat the process of drawing lines in the sand before we become one with the waves in the ocean
Fatalities of capsized pride
I wanted you to be the reason for the warmth of the cold space in my bed
I sought you to be the other of significance in my journey through life
I desired you to be the reason that I smile and would proudly represent you wherever in the world I would go

Until I realized that it is much too late for a you and I
Much too late and hopeless to even shed a tear
See I want you to be happy and I can love you better than any other man can
From a distance
Lord knows I have tried
But the fact remains
That I do love someone more than you…
And that person is me

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

The Pulpit Pimps!

2011-06-06T16:04:00.003+01:00

Does thou know of the twelve?
That shall travel in the midst of night and even the day especially Sunday… they consider themselves to be soul controllers
Has thine eyes and ears mused upon their guise?
Has thine eyes seen the dreary architecture of their souls?
Verily I say unto you that their clay tablets have etched their words of salvation…
their Ten Demandments
Proven with the desire to inflict false hope, a doctrine of lies, and a multipurpose series of hand, cherry picked, Bible verses to slay upon the downtrodden who have been fooled to believe in them
They admit and discharge the inhabitants of their owned and operated Sick and Shut Inn
These false prophets that walk among you shall be known now and forever more as the Dirty Dozen

Thus they scowl for their prey in the midst of the night.
Devouring the multitude that end their late night escapades or were awakened in their slumber
Maybe thou has heard and seen them upon what they call the friendly airwaves as you are channel surfing among the late night infomercials and the bust your lust telephone chat lines.
Yea in those times of night, they hunt for the feeble minded that believe that their only fate is hell, fire, and brimstone
That they are broke, busted and disgusted
That their money is funny and their change is strange
And no hope of fixin’ their affliction
Humor me and journey through their corrupt land and revoke the validity of their demandments.

Enter into the dilapidated doors of the seven hundred club and behold Brother Pat within his crowd of hypocrites shouting:

Who needs a miracle?
Gawdt has a miracle with your name on it!
And for thine to receive it…
Call the prayer line and divulge thy personal information unto me,
Thou shalt receive numerous voice messages as I call unto you
To submit thou first fruits, thou tithes unto me and I shall render these miracles to you

Brother Creflo crept in the scene slick and smooth and said
Be obedient to the prophet of Gawdt and I can make you wealthy and healthy! Understand that if you don’t give no money, you won’t receive no money.

If thou shalt swiftly saunter to the registration table you will stumble upon Sister Joyce, Brother Peter, and Brother Benny beckoning you to:
Come to their hotel crusade at the Hilton or The Holiday Inn or at the Sheraton or at the Marriott to receive your supernatural healing and share your miracle testimony!
You will hear the naïve singing with glee and out of tune with Casio Keyboard Gospel Choir under the direction of sweet Brother Bobby singing the same hymns (H.Y.M.N. meaning Hustling Your Money Now) over and over and over as those that receive their so called miracles fall ever so gently to the floor and covered with a 250 thread count sheet from one of the hotel rooms shouting in tongues:

Momma Honda…Momma Honda…Momma Honda or

Sew let it Say Haiku… Sew let it say Haiku…Sew let it say Haiku or

Hyandai Toyota Subaru…Hyandai Toyota Subaru…Hyandai Toyota Subaru

A sloppily clothed man from the Dirty Dozen whose black Prada, styled cassock, featured a hand made white collar. It was simply a white Jordan head band with the Jumpman stretched and in view to make it appear as if it was the crucifix image of Jesus on the cross, screams another demandment:
I have been anointed by the almighty Gawdt to heal and grant miracles, because when I pray I get results... you see Gawdt always
Momma Honda
Momma Honda
Answers MY prayers!
I am not a prayer share-cropper, I will make sure that if you pay enough I will pray enough!
Touch your television screen RIGHT NOW as I pray and you will feel the power of the supernatural flow from me into you.

Brother Kerney is then conveniently interrupted by Brother Joel who speaks softly and appears as if he is on the verge of tears and says:

Put thy money in thy envelope
Place it in thy right hand
Hold up thy right hand and say it with me…
This envelope contains the seed
That Brother Joel has sown in your life
I will sew a seed in Brother Joel’s life
For his ministry
Of at least twenty-five dollars
I will place my seed in the collection plate
Or send my seed to the address posted on the television screen
So that Brother Joel’s Bentley may continue to sit next to his private chartered plane
Ha-Men

Enter into one of the many telecast studios and you shalt see and hear Brother Robert being coached by Brother Jimmy. Who had a bottle spraying water onto his cheeks for the extra added tearful effect…
Thine eyes will also see…
Hold up…Brother
Naw Sister…
Okay, this is tricky, See what had happened was
See the make-up artist is in a little
Shall we say
legal mishap
Unfortunately, he was choking a cock okay a dick, that was not his own and when it crowed he could not deny it.
So he talked to the show’s director you know Brother Tyler and got his advice that if he dressed up as Francine (Madea’s long, long, long, lost sister) he would be able to escape the parishioners who had lost faith in him and caused several riots at his church.
So today…
Until further notice that is Brother Bishop Eddie
But I digresss…

Brother Robert had his lines down and with the facial expressions to boot he said:

Gawdt has commissioned me to open the closed doors that can not be opened and shut the doors that can not be shut and cause the miracles you need to happen in your life.
You see you may have tried it on your own and you see no change and that is why you are watching this telecast at this moment because I have the anointing.

Soon thereafter one of the Dirty Dozen’s prominent business men, Brother T.D. was seen signing autograph pictures from the Christian Freak-Nic’s wet choir robe contest and summoned parishioners to his table that was adorned with such miracle goodies like:
Miracle Oils
Miracle Soaps
Red Blood of Jesus Prayer Handkerchiefs
Anointed Stones of David
Miracle Spring Water
Money Green Prayer Cloths and
Anointed Faith Tools

As you embark upon leaving
Brother T.D. takes one more chance to once again harass you into purchasing
Books, DVD’s, CD’s, t-shirts,
Because this in his words…
This is just a business and business is booming!

I would have to say that he is absolutely correct. Pulpit pimps will have wonderful business…IN HELL!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

UNTITLED

2011-05-23T23:31:00.004+01:00

How do you react when the man who is responsible for the death of the most important person in your life stands before you?
The man who is responsible for the pain that seems like it will never end.
The image in your mind that doesn’t seem to fade away of your own flesh and blood, the person who brought you into the world, now has a crimsoned stained white sheet covering a nude body that has assumed room temperature.
The emotions felt and seen by all that are in disbelief that something that was so routine, that statistically is unfathomable, went entirely wrong.
What do you do?
How do you react when the man that has stolen the beat from your heart and the warmth from your breath stands in front of you?
It was him that caused you to…
Call all of her friends and the rest of the family repeating…
She’s gone…She’s gone
To have to say the word that you never wanted to say to her electric, mortgage, and telephone companies
The word that chokes up in your throat and makes you skip a breath
Deceased
Constructing obituary paragraphs, funeral arrangements that you never thought you would have to do this early, and trying to find the perfect picture that encompasses the spirit of your mother so that everyone knows how much she meant to you and how she helped to make the world a more pleasant place.
What do you say to the man that has signed his name on the death certificate underneath the blank entitled cause of death?
He is the individual that has led you to embark upon staring at pictures of those happy moments in child and adulthood.
Forced to save the last voice mail message she ever sent to you.
Imagining and wondering if you can still recognize her voice if she were to call out your name from her heavenly home.
What do you say to the person that has now allowed you only to dream dreams when your body and mind are finally able to sleep?
Understanding that a nightmare is also dream as you slumber in a bed littered with surgical documentation and various depositions as to what the hell went wrong!
The man that’s standing in plain view, not event a foot away from you, is the cause of your therapy sessions, your thoughts of ending it all.
Nights to mornings to days to afternoons of trying not to cry and trying not to be angry, and sometimes wanting to lash out at everything in the world…
Just for an opportunity to touch her hand or to hold her and let her know how proud you are of her as your mother and how much of a great mother she was.
Your thoughts will always dwell on what you were taught and that her legacy will never be tarnished or shamed!
To apologize for past and future mistakes and to get her blessing for the feats you will accomplish that she won’t ever see in person.
This man who now sits in front of you, and smiles in your face as you look him in his eyes, is the reason why you truly feel alone in the world.
But you remember what you were told
What you read
That God will never leave you nor forsake you.
So then you desperately ask God…
Didn’t you know when, where, and how your Son would die?
If I would have known what you knew God…
Maybe I could have prepared?
Maybe I could have made all of the arrangements both mentally and physically?
Or maybe I would still feel alone!
How do you hold back all sense, right, and rage when the man that treated your mother like she was a mass of nothingness can actually look you in the eye?
The man that she trusted with her life…
The thoughts and questions that run amok in your head
Where is your shame sir?
Sir, where is your regret?
Where the hell is your remorse?
Did I bury all of that with my mother as well?
How do you react?
What do you do?
I gave that man the gift that I never thought I would ever give another human being whose mistake and gross misjudgment will affect me for the rest of my life.
I stuck out my hand, smiled, and I said…
I forgive you!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Matinée

2011-05-16T20:02:00.003+01:00

We can sit in the dark
In the back
Of a matinée
Create our own plot structure
In the freaky type way
I can’t deny
It has been my fantasy for years
I’ve searched for the lady that has no fears
Of displaying this bad guy, good girl twist of fate
By only paying a twenty-two dollar and fifty cent gate
We can scream when they scream in the scene on the screen
I’ll play your Denzel, Boris, Morris, and Shemar
You can be my Sanaa’, Nia, Angelina, and Jada
Sitting in the dark
In the back
Of a matinée
We’re playing while the movie plays
Getting frisky in the theater night light
Fulfilling wishes, as we perform our own Oscar winning roles
That the Academy has never seen
Such sweet speech and rhyme
Within this picture show of love, in two hours time
Imma make sure you get yours
‘Cause you know imma get mine
At the matinée
In the dark
In the back
Where we sat

Coochie Control

2011-05-10T12:58:00.005+01:00

Since the year 2011 began, there have been resolutions stated to ensure that the weight is lost and the body looks right for the Spring and Summer months. It is the same routine that many ladies (and men) fall into. The start of the New Year dawns fitness clubs and weight loss contests at work. Weight Watchers commercials and work out video sales increase. Doctor's that specialize in weight loss surgeries are in a boom and health food stores are raving over the profits that they make during this season. Plastic surgeons and body sculptors know that it is prime season to make a buck! I am truly proud of those that have stuck with and achieved their weight loss goals and healthy lifestyle changes. You are to be praised.

With the changes that have come to your body and improvements you have made, come the spoils that many women receive from us men. We men are (supposed to be) more visually inclined ladies and when we get a hold of the transformation of tight abs, plump, and firm booty... shapely thighs and slender facial tones and neck lines, we turn into sexual animals looking for that nourishment we call coochie. Ladies know this because the opposite happens when a man makes the same comparative improvements to our body...but I shall only focus on the latter. (Ladies, if you want to respond about us men, then by all means leave a comment!) Ladies understand that their sexual control over a man will increase because of these wonderful changes...I WILL BE THE FIRST TO SAY...NOPE!!

Many men may get upset over me writing this but, I will take that risk. Someone needs to say it and that person will be me...at least I'd like to think I am not the first to put this information out there, but digress! Ladies, your coochie control over a man will not change because of your "new" body. You see, real men do not try or attempt to get you in bed on the first night after a date or after the third month of dating you. We do not change up our attitudes and habits when we have gotten to know you as many other males may do. We do not want your coochie that bad to pressure you for it...that is not how REAL MEN will treat you.

However, we will marvel and talk with our boys about how banging' your body is. We will discuss with our male friends how good you look. We will discuss with our boys the before and after photos you like to show us or even place on social networking websites. (I am not trying to call anyone out that does that! Keep doing it to inspire others.) We men just understand that the more we get to know about you, the more time we spend with you, the more we talk and understand you, the more we connect, and no matter how long it takes...the more trust that is built, the OPTION...of having sex with you will always increase.

REAL men are not concerned with the fluff, and we do not need to use lines to get the coochie. We don't run game and have a plan in place to get the coochie; we just know that it is more advantageous to have the option of getting sex than the guarantee of getting it. The option is more important because it turns into the guarantee. So when many ladies inform their lady friends that the man has not pressured them into sex, please believe that your coochie is not in control of a damn thing. Your body improvements have done nothing to enhance your coochie powers.

There are those "boys" that will feed your head and ego with a bunch of bullshit! They wine and dine you and try to impress you and show you off because of your physical improvements. Example...The family Summer time BBQ! You can bet that you will be complimented every other minute and many ladies eat it up and can't get enough of it because their new body is causing the attention that some of them have been seeking to become a reality. These "boys" will fill your mind with words and thoughts that you have been wanting to hear! Example...the shopping trips that they accompany you to the mall and seem to be so patient with you trying on the new clothes for your new wardrobe for your new body! Even as dumb as these boys are they are able to get over on many ladies because then sense and feed off of the insecurities that are still within your now new and improved tight and fit body! You fall victim to this silly game and eventually, many women end up losing their coochie control and sleep with them. Then the astonishment that follows when it is revealed this boy is not looking for anything that is sustainable, because with all of the coochie control you thought you had, you were used, and yes you were used the same way that you would have been used if you had not made those physical and health lifestyle changes. Unfortunately, the thoughts of appreciation for who and what you are and not your body are not there with that boy that you slept with, so maybe the body improvements are not all that must be made!

If you sleep with a ramped dog that has not been to the vet...If you allow a dog to frolic in your bed that has not been groomed...If you take pleasure in not knowing where that dog winds up when you are not in it's presence...please believe that the fleas and other critters that are in your bed are of your own fault! It is not your coochie control and body changes that should only be made...strengthen your mind! Take pride in the fact that while you are on the workout bike that you have strengthen your mind to recognize who you are and what you will and will not take from a man. When you are in your Zumba class, gain more self esteem not in your sculptured thighs, but in the fitness of your sense of being and sense of understanding who you are. When in kick-boxing sessions, know that a MAN will accept you at any weight and with any look and that your mind makes you beautiful and fit. As you take that run outside in the elements or on that treadmill, know without a shadow of a doubt that you are losing weight and gaining in your physical abilities, not to gain more coochie control over a man, but for YOUR own life and for YOU only. I was a very large man many years ago and I learned that before any pounds dropped off of my body, that I had to know my worth and it starts in the mind. I wish good luck to those ladies and gentlemen who continue their quest for their health goals. Ladies, remember that coochie control does not begin with a membership to a health club; it starts with being a lifetime member to you!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Avatar

2011-05-02T18:34:00.002+01:00

I don’t know how you expect me to live in your animated world
I am not one who muses in playing games with emotions
From the start I thought I knew you, or I should say
I was getting to know the production you assembled for me to believe
I can’t seem to determine what is genuine and what is virtual
What is actual and what is fiction…
What my common sense knows through commencing all of my life experiences
From what you illustrate as the all knowing certainty
Consider me at a loss when you give
And more confused when you clarify
Someone said believe half of what you see and none of what you hear
But you flip it in your world
If I were to probe into your depiction
What would it show?

Would Thor save the world with his trusty screwdriver?
Atlas would probably take 30 minute breaks trying to hold the weight of the world.
The Sesame Street crew would adopt a highway!
Clark Kent would ditch the glasses and opt for lasik eye surgery.
Martha Wash would have really been seen in the C and C Music Factory videos.
Milli Vanilli would have sported afros and made a living performing spoken word.
Crack simply would be Pop Rocks with a kick.
Superman would take mental health days and consult Dr. Phil.
Wonder Woman would retire and become a retail therapist so she could wear more than one damn outfit.
Cookie Monster would only eat sugar and gluten free cookies!
And all of us would have gotten our college degrees from Hillman!!!

I can gladly walk away with no equivocation
But your syndrome has spread from one person to another in this life
All expecting to live up to what you have presented on the screen
And try to portray in your reality
Maybe the only way for you to be true is to
Change your fake photo
Or forget your password
Try to Google a clue
Change your e-mail address
Shut down the MySpace page
Update your Facebook status (from all 5 pages)
I’d suggest starting all over again
Be reborn
It starts with…
Control
Alt
Delete

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

BALLS!!

2011-05-01T17:54:00.006+01:00

What is the fantasy that has become the reality? I am speaking of the love of balls! I wonder why people in the U.S. love balls so damn much? Balls have become the pillar American society and it seems that it will remain so from my vantage point. The fascination is alarming. Here are some examples:

• Tennis balls, along with the men and women who hit them back and forth….back and forth…back and forth…over and over…on and on…and on…over the net. Got to love the ladies screaming though!!
• Basketballs, and the stars that shoot the ball into the basket. Got to love the Lakers!!
• Footballs, and how they are caught or held, thrown and kicked, fumbled and recovered. Got to love the 49ers!
• Soccer balls, and those balls being the most watched ball in the world.
• Baseballs, and the ability to throw or pitch it, hit to obtain a base or 2 and even a chance to score the ultimate...a home run! Why Barry Bonds why?
• Ping pong balls, and how in the world folks can compete viciously over a little, tiny, minuscule ball. Have you seen the Olympics, the competition is incredible!
• Golf balls, and the fun to be able to have multiple chances to hit the damn ball into a cup 18 TIMES!!… forget Tiger Woods…I am Cougar Jones!!
• Billiard balls and how these balls can be aimed toward and are shot into pockets on an expensive ass table!
• Bowling balls and the skill it takes to knock down pins.
• Volleyballs and the effort it takes to make someone miss it. Serve me a drink not a ball!!
• Porno stars that use balls …well you get what I mean.

The list could go on and on.

But, it is obvious that those individuals who could tell you the velocity, speed, direction, force using Newton’s laws, gravity, torque, momentum, work, chemical composition, acceleration, kinetic energy, potential energy, trajectory, atoms, molecules, particles, inelastic collisions, elastic collisions, and even about the people that play with the balls, etc. are overlooked!

No wonder the country is so damn fucked right now in the realm of education, even without the old fool President Bush (the shoe dodger)! When will the realization occur that if you don’t learn about the balls first, why play with them? Hell even hoes, giggahoes, and whores know that!! Canada is looking real nice to me right now. They don’t use balls as often as we Americans do, they have pucks!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

Sexual Illusions

2011-04-30T23:44:00.004+01:00

In the midst of sensuous, rug burn, freaky, circus sex
My name suddenly changed from Clint to Shawn at sex time check: 2:34AM!
Dick went limp in an instant! No safe word needed!
The fuck face I had turned into the famous puppy dog glare of…WHAT THE FUCK?
So then my questions…

Who the hell is Shawn?
Did you introduce me to Shawn the same way you just introduced him to me?
Who were you fucking first, him or me?
Since you said to me you weren’t that type of chick (‘cause you do have some skills), did you suck him too?
Did your hussie heifer ass use a damn condom with him?
How the hell are you gonna think of him, when I am putting in all this work for you?
How long has this muthafucka been enjoying the shit I have taught you?

*insert male ego here* --------

All I know is that there has been another man fucking you and you had the nerve to call out his name instead of mine!

Sex time check: 3:07AM
After all of my interrogation she says to me that I have it all wrong!
I asked the question most men would ask I this situation…
What the hell does Shawn have that you love so damn much?
She simply replied…
Ovaries
Monthly bloating
Cramps
Wide hips
Plump ass
Menstrual cycle
Uterus
Eggs…………………………

Hot Sauce

2011-04-30T23:43:00.002+01:00

Sho’nuff ugly, your love is sho’nuff ugly
Funkier than an old pot of collard greens
Nastier than some five day old bacon grease
Love so ugly enough for you and me
Hot sauce won’t even make is gleam
Uglier than a freak on Church Street
Look like someone’s un-pedicured feet
Sho’nuff ugly. I said your love is sho’nuff muthafugly
Every time I see your la-la and your ta-ta’s
Make me lose my high, I sho’nuff can’t deny
I would go down on you and taste, ooh I wish I could
Hot sauce won’t even make it taste good
Won’t even make a brother hard like wood
Wimpy and limply like sautéed onions
Painfully ugly like ten year old bunions
Sho’nuff ugly, I said your love is sho’nuff muthafugly
You know what…somebody’s got to love her
Damn had to add the eleven herbs and spices
Ain’t goin’ home when you’re that ugly
Got an ugly ass baby too
It’s true…it’s true
And I love her…
Yes I must say I do
I’ll let the whole world know
Hot sauce didn’t work too well
But shit, you can’t give up on Tabasco

I Love you But, God Love's You More!

The Story of the Empty Easter Egg!

2011-04-21T22:38:00.002+01:00

Marissa Granger was a brand new, fresh out of college, elementary school teacher. It was her first year without a mentor and she was completely frustrated on how the current school year had effected her. She made it through the Fall and was over the newness of teaching her 1st grade class. The Winter had arrived soon after and she was pleased with the amount of time off from work she could garner because of the holidays. Marissa was not a fan of the Winter and the flu season that fell upon her students to the point that she would adorn her desk, classroom phone, computer keyboard, and her student's hands with a generous amount of hand sanitizer. Marissa was not one who liked to become ill and she made sure not to catch anything that her 1st grade students may bring to her in the form of nasty germs. She had been waiting for the months that Spring would bring. She loved the warmer weather and that lightened her mood a bit in her classroom. She looked forward to the opportunity that the children would be able to go to recess and expend some of their built up energy.

Her students were well behaved and not that much trouble. She did have her favorites. Anthony was her sweetheart! He would always pay attention and obeyed the requests she asked him to complete. His grades were not the best, but his 2-front-teeth-missing smile was something she adored. He would compliment her and say she smelled like apples all of the time. Marissa could count on Anthony saying something to make her day bright. LaKeisha was another of her beloved students. Marissa thought that if she ever married and had children that she would love for her daughter to be just like LaKeisha! It would be Marissa's "mini-me" or her princess. LaKeisha would always know the latest songs and would sing them as she would walk in the classroom in the morning. LaKeisha tried hard to dress like Marissa in some form or fashion and Marissa thought it was sweet. She would let Marissa know that she wanted to sing to her all day, and that she loved her favorite teacher Miss. Granger. LaKeisha would be devastated if she was not able to get her Friday afternoon hug and her "Good Morning High Five" from Marissa!

Although Marissa had her favorites and her not-so favorites in her class, there was one student that she was not too fond of. Not to say he was belligerent and mischievous in her class, but she was concerned about his demeanor and inability to be like as they say, "the rest of the kids". Justin was developmentally challenged and required a little more attention than her other students. Justin was soft spoken and did not say too much to any of the kids in the class. He was a loner of sorts. He was not picked on by other students, and they did treat him kind and did not recognize any of his flaws. He did not speak as fast as other students, and had a little trouble getting his words out, but he was a beast on the playground and was always chosen first to play different games. Justin loved recess time. He knew he could run free and play with some of the kids at school that he knew better than the kids in his class. All in all, Marissa was frustrated with Justin's performance in class and his average grades. She wished she could figure out how to better his performance and had tried many different methods. She was reaching the point of hopelessness with Justin.

Since her favorite time of year was here, Marissa had an idea for an interesting "show and tell" project that would be a hit! She decided that she would purchase Easter eggs for her students to place what they thought of that reminds them of the Spring. Marissa also knew it would be a great way to waste some time the Friday before Easter break and countdown the end of the school year as well as her teaching career.

The day had finally arrived. It was Friday before Easter Break eve and Marissa had announced to the class that during recess time they were to find something that reminds them of Spring and place it in their Easter eggs! She handed an egg to each student as they walked out of the classroom door out into the hallway and then to the playground oasis that awaited the children outside. Marissa sat under a tree along with other teachers that were enjoying the wonderful bright and breezy Spring day. The laughter of the children was infectious and all on the playground had smiles on their faces. Some of the other teachers asked Marissa what her students were doing with the Easter eggs. Marissa told her colleagues and received laudatory praise about her idea. Some instructors said it was ingenious, a great way to enhance a lesson, and perfect to ease the anticipation of the Spring Break. Other instructors marveled and envied what Marissa planned and asked if they could emulate her idea. Marissa had no problem with her other fellow teachers sharing and borrowing her idea. Little did they know that Marissa didn't plan on ever using the idea again for she made up her mind that she would not return to teaching the next school year!

Recess was over and Marissa got her students settled and back in their desks. She noticed the clock was nearing the end of the school day, and of course her well-deserved Spring Break! She asked who wanted to "show and tell" first. Students all had their hands raised and were loud in their eagerness to share what they found and placed in their eggs. She called on one student and he shared his finding of a worm! Worms remind me of the Spring time because they are always out after it rains. Marissa was amused, but was not happy about the worm on her desk. She asked the student to take it back to his and the children then raised their hands hoping to be called on next. Marissa then called on LaKeisha. She walked briskly to the front of the class and showed everyone her dandelion. She said that every time the Spring comes the dandelions are always on the ground and that reminds her of Spring. Marissa presented a large smile along with LaKeisha and agreed with her. Marissa called on some other students before asking Anthony to present what he had in his Easter egg. Anthony opened his egg and showed the class 3 ladybugs that he found. He told the class that the ladybugs always show up in his neighborhood when the Spring would arrive. Marissa thought it was cute and smiled. The kids were in awe that Anthony was able to get the ladybugs into his egg without hurting them. Marissa continued to call on students methodically. She purposely waited to call on Justin last. She knew in her heart that Justin would not be as impressive with his findings as the other children were and prepared to make up for his not finding something spectacular and duplicating what other students had found.

Marissa finally asked Justin to present what he found and placed in his Easter egg. He slowly walked up to the front of the classroom and smiled. Marissa asked Justin to open his egg and reveal what he had. Justin opened his Easter egg and nothing was in it! As soon as all the students saw there was nothing in it they were shocked and there was nothing but a silent room! Marissa was afraid to ask, but she did! She asked Justin how does this empty egg remind you of Spring. Justin slowly and softly sad, "Jesus's tomb was empty wasn't it?" At that time the bell rang and all of the students except Justin ran out of the classroom to go on their Spring and Easter break. Marissa walked up to Justin with tears in her eyes and gave him a great big hug. He whispered in her ear, "What did I do wrong Miss. Granger?" She simply replied. "Nothing but remind me of the real meaning of Easter!" Marissa watched the children leave and asked if she could keep Justin's empty Easter egg. He said yes and left the classroom not knowing the impact he had on his first grade teacher. It took a student that she was not as fond, a student that was quiet and reserved, a child that was gentle and not as up to par as her other students, to remind her of the true meaning of Easter! It is not about eggs and bunnies. It is not about chocolates and baskets. Easter is about that empty tomb that Jesus was not in!

Marissa keeps that empty egg that Justin had on her desk to this day! She enjoys the exercise she made up for her student's long ago and wonders what other student will show her an empty egg. Unfortunately, none of them do!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

The Family That Stays!!!

2011-04-20T23:26:00.003+01:00

The Spring season is in full effect and most of us know what that entails… that’s right… celebrations that families call the family reunion! The setting is chosen and family members from all over the country are invited to have an enjoyable time and to catch up at this (for the most part) annual event.

I can remember the last family reunion I attended. There were pony rides, delicious food from all of the food groups and some new food groups that were invented, card games, board games, and yes even with some families the wonderful t-shirt with the praying hands on the front or back. Many of the t-shirts would also have the slogan “The family that prays together stays together!”. In addition, some families would visit the “home church” on that Sunday morning after the reunion and all members would sit and worship in their designated, roped off pews. Some families will take it to the next level and wear the exact same color on “home church” Sunday to show their solidarity!

It sounds beautiful on that reunion weekend how much family can care about and for each other, until reality sparks! It is quite alarming that the same type of family I just mentioned disappears in the situations of death, marriage, birth, money woes, and illness. Don’t get me wrong, I do understand that not all families are inattentive concerning the aforementioned, but there are many family units that just go away when times get rough.

I come from a fairly large family, and my relationship with my immediate family has been intermediate at best. I can recall that my mom and I were all that we could really depend on…PERIOD! Through whatever may be in the path. We usually got more concern and assistance from those that we did not know as family than those who were blood relatives. It is a shame that those that help us the most are people that have no blood relation to us. The people that show concern and actually act upon it are those that do not share our ancestry.

This blog is not meant to be negative, but to provide a positive reminder. We may have different last names, and not all have the same skin tones…but we all are family. We are fellow brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, cousins and nephews. We should all revisit the element of family and recognize that we are the only ones like us on this Earth and that one day we may need the help of our “brother or sister from another mother or mister”! Let’s not become ghost in the time of need. The very time that you dismiss aiding someone in your immediate or extended human family…don’t be too surprised when some how, some way, some day, you are denied the same aid!

I Love You, But God Love’s You More!

The White Flag

2011-04-13T01:19:00.012+01:00

I am attempting not to character-lies how love presently defines itself to me
I propose it to be like intentionally sailing against the tide of a rambunctious river of regret
In my view I can see so called lovers throwing themselves overboard
and hearts sinking by the boat full
With no life rafts of reality in reach
Many of the passersby plot their love rescue missions like a Marine General
with the voice inflections and militant mindset of a Drill Sergeant
I am understanding now that love is solemn and then downright crazy at times
all while trying to interpret with earnest Love's language
Words...transforming into synchronized pants and moans of yearning
Coupled with facial distortions that change like the weather
It's then that I picture her lips, her face, her neck, her breasts, her thighs
just her...
I still relish her flavor and the chill I encountered the first and only time I swallowed her
Been searching for her ever since
We might have laid down for that one night, but I feel like I'm the one still standing
Lonely, like the arena after the encore
I realized that sometimes when you play exclusively
befuddling their touch as love
their embrace as affection
their kiss as confirmation
It's just a simple war game of touch and go
With rules of engagement that are meant to confuse
and we still try to make rhyme and reason out of them
So then we surrender... the conflict is over
With nothing but casualties in the end

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Investment Strategy

2011-04-07T21:51:00.003+01:00

Anything that is worth having is worth waiting for. If you have high expectations then you have to have a large amount of patience. You can apply the latter statements to the investment strategy. Let me explain.

I look at the dating scene with a different view than a lot of others. I look at it from that "old school" perspective. I am one that believes you have to be friends with that person that you desire to be your mate. Understand that this desire is not at the forefront, it just happens. Yeah I said it!! You do not expect it to happen, it just does.

For example, I can clearly recall letting a young lady know what I wanted in a woman. It was an in depth and series of conversations that were honestly just conversations about what I wanted and also what she desired. I has no intention trying to get her to be what it was that I wanted. She at that time was not what I wanted and i was not really feeling her or paying attention to her in that fashion.

In addition, she told me what she wanted in a man to the point that she took my advice and wrote down, her "top ten" list of what she wants and her non-negotiables. The main thing is that we were JUST FRIENDS! Everyone in our circle knew that we exemplified the true meaning of the word friends. We said we would always remain friends regardless of who we might end up with and always. We were that tight. I will say that we did have our bumps and pot holes in the road, but all TRUE FRIENDS will have those arise.

All of a sudden, our friendship grew into a relationship. How did it grow for me?

One morning I was taking some pictures of her and I took them because she did not have a lot of pictures posted on her web profile, and she wanted to show off her new pant suit. I looked at them when sending them to her and I had determined that I really liked her...maybe even loved her. It was an epiphany of sorts, and totally unexpected. But of course DAMN FOOL PRIDE (Future blog) that got in the way and I did not let her know. Well to make a long story short we did get together.

The important trend in all relationships is how strong the friendship is at the outset. That is when the investment comes into play. You place time and effort into your investment to garner the best return possible. The only difference in the investment strategy for love and relationships is that it is genuine and you are not EXPECTING a return or a profit from your earnings.

What you gain is a person who loves you and cares about you. What you receive in your portfolio is more credit in and from what you have placed into your portfolio....credit meaning belief, trust, and of course love to mention a few. The types and positions of investments will fluctuate over time. There will be gains and losses. There will be some give and take whether large or small. I can assure you that you might question your investment and might want to take your assets to another institution. I would suggest you hang in there unless there is illegal and inside trading of emotions, dispersion of lies, cashing checks of dishonesty, etc.

So what is your investment strategy? Has your portfolio been one with diverse investments coming in and out? Is it a portfolio that has not been shared by you with another? All in all the first person to invest in is you. If you don't, you will wonder why no one wants to take stock in what you have to offer!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

The Praying Mother

2011-04-07T02:22:00.004+01:00

She closes the pages of the 23rd Psalm
It seems to be the only thing that keeps her holding on
It's hard for her faith not to change
Enduring constant physical and emotional pain
But she opts to take the one choice that erases her fears...
And prays it away

Five dollars left and her child must eat
Somehow she's able to put a meal together until she gets paid that next week
She tries hard to not let her child see
How difficult life can certainly be
Her family members talk a good game
But she knows she can't ask them for a thing
But through all the tears
The only thing that will erase her fears...
And prays it away

You could hear her sniffles in her bedroom at night
Smiling and holding you...telling you that everything is alright
Never blaming the quality of life on an absent man
When she knows she is doing all she can
Even when the end never seems near
But through the silent tears
She knows the only thing that will erase all her fears...
And prays it away

Some people may mistake the journey and call it heartache
When you have taken all that you can take
But you remember that mother
Who wouldn't rely on any other
Than her Heavenly Father...
Closer than a sister or brother
Strength that comes from her tears
Endurance that lasts from all the years
Faith that refuses to change
Knowing that it's a blessing to live through the
Come what may...
Thank Jesus for the mother that
Prays it away

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

Hands and Knees

2011-04-04T23:11:00.003+01:00

Loving you is like submitting myself to humility while on my hands and knees
Your love is like a see-saw plunging me in and out of the depths and pit of your horrid game
You solicit love like a classified ad
soliciting your love like religious tracts...hand to hand...door to door
While I am still on my hands and knees
cleaning up what you've spilled and what you bitch over
Though I have aches and pains...notwithstanding my hurt
My eyes cry
My eyes produce pure, clean, unadulterated tears
None like the acid filled, high pressured, self righteous,
sea salt filled substance that runs down your cheeks
I am on my hands and knees
pleading with love to let me go from you
Our episodes were dry and cancelled long ago
Low ratings and suppressed anticipation for the production
of lust do not touch, tantalize, and tease the channels of my desire
Picture me on my hands and knees disconnecting my umbilical cable cord from you
Imagine me hoping to be nourished by another
That gives birth to sessions of love that create
a picture show of colors and expressions that
neither Michael Angelo or Picasso could ever imagine
I am rising from my hands and knees
releasing tension from your heart's puppet strings
Knowing that your emotional arthritis stifles love
in every form and fashion
ever fathomed

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Remember Richard Crabhouse...Ode to the whore!!

2011-04-01T01:26:00.004+01:00

The blunt was still simmering when you left the Candy Boyz

Love was spread all around...from the tips of moist fingers, to the tune of dry lips

No one ever asked about the creases in the passenger seat of the Accord or the Sonata

She said she liked the taste of Rita's Sugar Balls

Take the time for you to be doing you…like she would be doing me for the night

The car is still waiting...idling

But no one is coming over

Who's gonna make you happy?

Because she won't freak you!

Speed off but take it slow…she will do it for me!

No luck for you!

Remember the times when you and me…

We were with Pat and Ron… much like menage trios plus one

Sauced it up

Tossed it up

And said screw it.

You took her to the club...they denied it

You took her to alphabet street…still couldn't buy it

All I would suggest is that you don't try it

'Cause all of the other crew will cause a riot

Tell her...

Do you want to come easily?

Crack that Boone's with me?

As the chronic leaves burn slowly…

There is a red mark on your cheek!

I guess you won't stop asking me until you try

I want those chocolate thighs…

My head on the inside…

Doing a greasy slide…

You've been in my seat before

Stop frontin' like you haven't

It's the same black Honda Accord

The creases in the seat remember you

From your last interview

We lit it up…

Your heel prints still on the dashboard.

I Love You But, God Love's You More!!

BLOCK!!!

2011-03-30T02:14:00.002+01:00

I do not know why I do have writer's block, but I do! It is not that I don't have stuff to write about, it is that I do not know (for the first time) how to articulate what it is I want to say. I know it is a serious condition! So please help me! What do you do to generate ideas and end writer's block?

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Where Have I Been??

2011-03-19T16:11:00.003Z

A lot of changes have taken place since I last posted. I do apologize for not posting as often as I should, but all is well with me. Without going into too much detail let's say that I retired from my job, and I have been having a lot of fun for millions of reasons. lol

You will hear back from me very soon with a lot of new stuff for me to present on my blog so stay tuned...what I have to say will shock and awe...the way only I can do!!

I Love You But God Love's You More!!

Birthday and Mother's Day 2010!!

2010-11-18T03:22:00.002Z

I am glad to have been born on this day and I thank God I am able to complete and begin another year! Today is Mother's Day to me and so Happy Mother's Day mommy! I miss you! Thanks to all of you for wishing me well on today!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Don't Spit Game, If You Don't Plan To Swallow!

2010-11-10T21:30:00.002Z

It is fun to do at times when you are younger and immature…spitting game. The older you get the less tolerant you are of relinquishing your ignorance towards others…at least most of us who qualify as adults with good common sense! That is what “spitting game” is all about. There was a time (in my high school years) that it was cool and regarded highly to be a “player” or to parade around with many ladies/men because you could. You had it “going on” when you were able to gain another phone number for your cell phone (or pager codes for us 90’s people in the smart beep age) that you could call at your leisure. It is clear that the “player” is still “playing” and the “game” has not changed. I will say with confidence that the age of the “player” (by age I do mean numerical representation of years a person has lived on this Earth) continues to increase and the ignorance displayed does as well.

I would suggest that if the “player” is going to “spit game”, then the “player” should be prepared to swallow. I have a few rules for the “player” to live by, and if the “player” doesn’t abide by these rules, they should not “spit game” or ever attempt to “play”. You never see a wealthy man claim how rich he is, nor do you ever know the plays in the coach’s playbook…unless you are on the team!

A few rules…

1. In order to be a “player” you MUST tell the truth! “Spitting game” is not about lying and it is essential for the truth to be told. If you want the real sense of pride and grandeur, tell the truth…real certified pimps have no choice!

2. If you are going to “spit game” have a good memory! Most people who “spit game” have the lines down to a science and do not deviate. Say what you have said before since it works and make sure you remember the responses you receive, the names you are introduced to, and all information about that man/woman!

3. “Players” do not need one organ of the human body…a heart! Remember that the “game” is tough and not for those who have “feelings” and “emotions”…they get in the way. Do not “spit the game” and try to be a “player” if you have a heart. Having a heart that can be broken means that you will spend time on your knees, and every “player” can never be seen or imagined doing that!

4. “Spitting game” also means that you do not spread the “facts” about your life to those who do not need to know. I am sure the worse thing that could happen is that someone that knows you well can tell someone that you are “spitting game” to all about your past and your current dating situation. It will not make you look good and will diminish your status and fame as a “player”. The rule should be that if it does not help you, no one needs to know!

5. Make sure that you look good and have an enticing aesthetic appearance at all times. With the aforementioned in mind, you must be attractive and have impeccable hygiene. You can not have breath that stinks, hair that is not cut or styled. You have to be able to make sure that if a paparazzi or paparazzo in training is taking a photo (with an I-phone or digital camera) is in your path that you are ready to take that photo with ease. Those that are “players” know that it is important that your image is not tarnished by a picture that is unsightly and embarrassing. We all know that posting your photos on social networking sights like Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace makes you and automatic model. The more photos you have up there the better your modeling career and “player” status improves! In addition, make sure to take photos with ladies/men that you know are attractive. If you don’t, your rank to be able to “pull” the “fine’ ones will diminish incredibly!

If you have any rules or suggestions to add to this short list please do. Help the “player” in training…I think we all need to look out for them! I would rather someone to spit at me than to spit on me!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

How to receive love...

2010-11-08T23:55:00.003Z

Much in my life has been taken away from me. All of my life I have given something up. I have had specific items tangible and those that are not stolen from me. Because of that, the empty space has been substituted. I feel like I am a repository of pain. I suppose that is the reason I can not take. That is the reason that that I would rather give to someone else than receive. There is a woman that loves me. I suppose she recognized the pain that I have inside and decided that her love would outweigh and replace my pain. When did I decide to let her love me? When did I decide that her love could erase hurting that has been built up for years? When did I decide that pushing the envelope and pushing just to push, might send her over the edge and for her to decide not to love me anymore? I can’t make the decision of whether or not someone can love me, but I can persuade them that their love can’t erase my agony. I realize that this is my mistake and my problem.

I have had so much snatched away from me, and the residual pride that has been instilled in me gets some sick joy or gratification that “this (fill in the blank) is just like the rest”. I will be the first to admit that it is not right. Unlike the others, I don’t want her to walk away. Unlike before, I know I need her to stay with me. Unlike before I can see. I can place my head on her chest and let it all out, like I did with my mother. I can trust her and not feel that I am going to lose. Why is it so difficult for me to take when someone is giving? I do not desire the “damn fool pride” to reside in me as it has taken root in my soul, to not allow anyone to see me in pain. If the truth be told, they can already see. If the truth be told, it is as apparent as the sun and the moon. It is as clear as the winter’s snow and the summer’s heat. Yet she decided that from what I have given to her, she would give to me as long as I understand that what she is giving is exclusive to me and as difficult for her to give as it is for me to be the recipient.

The only person I can blame is me, and the only person who needs to get it together is me. All that I ask from her is to know that I recognize all of what needs to be done for her to be with me. I don’t want her to hurt and I want to do the same for her as she has done for me, with nothing in return. I can not give to her without taking. It is a partnership and an affirmation of trust that should be guarded, respected, and never taken at face value. It is simply giving without expecting anything in return. It is the genuine preface of love.

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Happiness...It is a process!

2010-10-19T21:06:00.002+01:00

It is an epidemic at times. I have seen it and experienced it for myself. It is called not being happy. What do you do to change it? My answer…it is a process. I had to understand me. I had to get to know me. I had to love me. I had to like me. I had to accept me. I had to accept my situations and state of affairs and in some cases not be happy with it, but accept it for what it is. You have to be honest with yourself. Overall you have to learn to be comfortable about you and be comfortable with you, to be able to become happy. It takes time and yes...it is a process.

In order for you to be in a relationship with another person, you must first have a wonderful and complete relationship with yourself. If you want someone who is going to be honest with you, try and execute being honest with your self. In all that you desire from a mate or another individual, look inward and start with the person who will love you better than any other human being. YOU!!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

All about "her" booty?

2010-10-07T21:01:00.002+01:00

I enjoy caressing all part of a lady. I can start from any part whether it is her hair or her thighs from her toes to the nape of her neck. I enjoy her smell and her touch. I enjoy her softness and her curves. There is one thing that I do ponder about. It has to be a myth concerning the size of a woman’s booty. I am not sure what the obsession that men and women have concerning the size and shape booty happens to be, but it is quite alarming.

I proudly acknowledge that I am a thigh and leg guy! I love nice looking thighs and some sexy legs on a lady, and I am not sure why booty is so significant. I am under the belief (and from experience) that thighs add the cushion and the durability of lady’s participation in scrupulous sexual positions. I suppose that booty is more for the eye candy aspect rather than something that is essential for both men and women. I have dated ladies with different sizes and curvatures to their butt. So I have the following questions:

• What does the booty have to do with the attractiveness of a woman?
• Does a big butt equal better sex?
• Does a big butt enhance sex?
• If a woman has a butt that is not as round or obtuse, is her sexual abilities and attractiveness automatically downgraded?
• Where did this fixation concerning butt size originate?
• Does booty size affect how “her” sex feels?
• If a woman does not have that large of a butt, can her sex then trump a woman who does have one?

What say you?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Walk like you are a man!

2010-10-06T19:24:00.003+01:00

I know that I may not be the lot to every person. I recognize that I may not be the preference for some ladies as a mate or what have you, and I do discern that there is one thing that has by no means been questioned about me…that is my manhood. For all intensive purposes of this entry I will just articulate about one item…WALK LIKE A MAN!!
I do recall there is a song entitled “Walk Like a Man” and it is true. Show some confidence and do not slouch. Stand straight and know who you are and like it as well. Don’t ever cower in your posture to try to get what you wish for. Don’t ever alter the demeanor of your stroll and your stance to purge someone to agree with you or grant your request. I have seen it far too many times that so called “men” do the former and latter and feel that they have achieved because they recoiled to get what they wanted. It is gibberish.

Your stride is not related to your swagger. Some people join these two factors together and feel it is believed to be that way. Not in the least. Your swagger is not PRIMARILY defined by your saunter but rather how YOU present yourself to the world. My attitude can define my swagger. My way of dress can define my boastfulness. The list can go on and on.

Your walk is another item altogether. Your stroll is your main mode of transportation. You walk from one destination to the next. You are seen as you are walking and you are voluntarily opening yourself to scrutiny. Walk like you are a man! Pace like you know who you are and do not care what others think! Toddle with confidence, even if you do not have an ounce of it. Walk, and don’t open your mouth if you are afraid or do not know of what to say. Stride as if no one is watching. Remember why you are walking and not who you are walking with! Walk with pride and dignity. Saunter as if you own the street and the cars that drive about, to and fro! Walk as if you have conquered the world! March with determination and spirit. Walk like you have supreme self-esteem! Walk with you shoulders back, head held high, and with strong paces.

If you declare you are a man then walk like it! Swagger will appear later. If you don’t walk like you are a man…others including you will wonder in what manner are you walking …you might be on your feet, but you may really be crawling!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Spoonin'!!

2010-10-04T14:22:00.002+01:00

I can not deny that my hormones have been raging and it is because my side of the bed is empty since the last time “she” was there. I remember the times when we would just chill or look forward to a movie that we had both not seen. The movie is in the DVD player, the surround sound on and pumping and then we are hardly paying any attention to the damn movie! How funny it is to wake up hearing the same music and movie introduction repeat itself from the selection menu. Yeah, you know what we ended up doing...spoonin'!

I never really understood the importance of spooning until; I realized it was an alternative to sex. Now what I mean is that if we aren't going to do it...I want her to know (while spoonin') that I want it…yeah that I really want to do her, but since we aren't ready to go all the way...we spoon. It is all the great taste and feeling of sex, without the sweat and the fatigue (in a good way). We all know that spoonin' can sometimes lead to forkin'. Freaky circus, rug burn, crazed animal sex (damn that is some excellent shit) is all good at the appropriate time, but the sensation of having my arm around you...feeling your breasts, nipples, butt, and all other parts of her body with one arm is gratifying to me.

I can drive her feral with one arm and yet she won’t mind! LOL! We would still have our underwear on and wake up respectful, looking into her gorgeous eyes, and say "Good Morning"...yeah there are some dudes out there like me who can still do that. It is simple and yet intricate at the same time. I don't know if she expected me to kiss her neck, ask her to move closer to me, or when she asked me to hold her tighter, where I was going. Or why I can sleep soundly through the night only when she is next to me...but I enjoy spoonin'!

I don't know what the other fellas would say, but spoonin' is just as fervent as sex. You can sex anyone BUT you just can't spoon with anyone. The fantasy of the amount of head prints on our pillow should not be thought of as notches in our belts.

It takes a lot of work and a hell of a woman to be in my bed (let me reiterate) a hell of a woman! If a woman gets into my bed and gets to spoon with me, there has to be something within her, (not about her) that makes me want to hold her all night. She is a woman that has morals, sexiness in her walk and intelligence! She has values in her speech, codes that she lives by, and one not to lead me on in thinking one thing, when there is actually something else going on. I have had my share of that bullshit!! Maybe I should start a new trend among those who want to have a quality of life that is something that others (whom they want to sex) can see and respect called ...SPOONIN'!!

Think about it...

Spoons are always useful, and spoons are smooth and not rigid. Spoons are the same for the most part. They are used to feed infants. Spoon-like devices help to make and develop land. A spoon is an aid in creation. Spoons remind us of happy times, when the candy lady made that sugary ass, syrup ass Kool-Aid!

Spoons remind us of the tea grandmother used to make. I recall I would watch her stir and make the perfect iced tea. I remember my granddaddy and his grits, his oatmeal, and man how that food looked good on the spoon...how it tasted was even better. I remember eating ice cream with a spoon and the looks on the faces of my students a few years back when they made their ice cream and how they looked at their creation on the spoon. I remember how my mommy would put the mayonnaise on the bread with a spoon and it was as smooth and even as could be.

Maybe I have taken this spoon thing way to far, but there is an importance to spoonin'. Think of the times you had a spoon in your hand and the uses of the spoon, just a simple spoon.

I look forward to the time when I am spoonin' all day and all night with her. I promise not to be a spoon hoe, or spoon whore...what the hell would that be called...I can't even think of it right now. So I submit this on behalf of the spoon.

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

October is here!!

2010-10-01T21:30:00.002+01:00

No need for me to go into detail. October is always a month that new experiences and good times occur! I am ready, willing, able, excited, and anxious!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

So You Call Yourself Daddy, But You Are More Like A Biological Contributor!

2010-09-30T20:53:00.003+01:00

The contents of this blog may disturb both the men and ladies in this situation. I feel that since I came from a single parent household, and was a victim of my biological contributor’s ( or father’s) irresponsibility to an obligation (that being me), that I have the right to speak about this issue. In addition, I hope that anyone that reads this particular blog has a new perspective about owning up to responsibilities of any variety since it is a gift and honor to be able to create another human life.

For the guys…

Gentlemen, you are not taking care of the children that you help to make! It is ridiculous that ladies feel the way they do after a night of fervor and missing their menstrual cycle that they really could not depend on you IF she got pregnant. It is awful that they say the latter in conjunction of wondering if they could even count on you to do right in a relationship! This is not funny anymore. Men have this attitude that as long as they pay “what the court” says they should pay, that the men are doing some type of service to a child that he helped to produce…that night, day, and evening, what have you! Do not expect for someone to give you a pat on the back when you do something you are SUPPOSED to do!

Let me come from the scientific and statistical perspective that is not widely in use for you to understand what I am conveying. There is NO guarantee that a man is able to impregnate a woman. There is a 50/50 chance that a man will be successful...whether on purpose or not. In the case that a man gets a lady pregnant it is a 50/50 chance that the child will be a boy or a girl. Moreover, there is a 50/50 chance that the child will be born without any defects. The odds are in limbo, and it is a MIRACLE that a child is born with no serious defects, with the mother surviving, and with few complications.

There are many men out in the world who would love the opportunity to produce children, and have tried various ways medically and otherwise to do so and not have their dream of producing a child fulfilled. There are men that adopt and accept the child even if that child is not biologically theirs. These men gladly and willingly love a child that they did not generate genetically.

Why in the hell (from the blessings that “biological contributors” have been given to be able to impregnate a woman and produce a healthy child) would you not take care of it? This has nothing to do with taking care of the lady, but taking care of the child that you as a man have been blessed to produce. It has gotten to be too common these days that a man is more concerned with stocks, cars, businesses, clothes, status, money, contracts, screwing other women, etc. that they feel a monetary check will raise their child…that a child support check will love their child…that a child sustaining payment is equivalent to hugging their youngster…that a court ordered child support payment is equivalent to cheering their kid at a sports event to urge and support the child. When did a payment or a monetary check become the substitute for child rearing? It is ludicrous that the lady is not only standing there with a positive pregnancy test, and the broken condom to go along with it…because a man…a “biological contributor” is too damn lazy to do anything but get hard, come, and roll out of the scene!

For the ladies and the guys…

Children deserve a lot more than an imbursement to be molded into human beings that have more self respect and dignity than their “biological contributors”. I feel it is an indignity and a crime that this continues over and over and over, and that SOME ladies continue to allow the trend to define their children, the father’s (I use the word “father” loosely) of their children, and ultimately themselves. If both men and women make better choices in whom they decide to sleep with then some of this chaos would not ensue. Primarily, men need to act like men in word and deed and take care of what is theirs. Don’t be upset or surprised if someone else decides to take care of your child…or if your child, when that day comes, decides to NEVER take care of you!!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

SEX...A weapon of mass destruction!!

2010-09-27T21:26:00.003+01:00

Many people like to converse about “weapons of mass destruction” and like to place sex in the same category. Imagine a couple that has had a big argument, and one of them chooses to withdraw on sex because that is their way to get revenge. BIG MISTAKE! Most of us like sex…place me in the category of people that enjoy it to the utmost. Is it the Scorpio in me...I guess so. I digress. I believe that if you place that much emphasis on sex, and that the person you are with is that dumb to entertain it, you will not have a great, sustainable, and valuable relationship.

Sex IS overrated. Yeah I said it. A man has said that sex is overrated. Don’t let someone else tell you that it isn’t. If sex was so important than it would not be sold (for such cheap prices) or given away by others for free. Sex would not be downgraded to a lady or man walking the street of the “bad neighborhood” giving anyone who drives by the opportunity to “pay to play” in a cheap hotel, van, car, dumpster, etc.

You as the equal party of the bond, set the “going rate” for sex. If you give it up faster than the change hits the bottom of a parking meter, then it is not that precious to you. It is just another “weapon of mass destruction” to gain an advantage over someone. The latter is true whether or not you had sex with the person the first night you met them or the 456th night that you went out with them!

Continue to use sex as a weapon that and see what happens. Don’t feel that it is a gender related issue. There are men that use sex as a weapon as well as ladies. These individuals do not have any capacity to have a correlation based upon genuine concern and admiration. A relationship based on complimenting the wants (non-sexual) and desires of a person. Interactions in which they are enjoy giving of their heart and soul…rather than their sexual organs and sexual fluids that are expelled. Get with it everybody, if you want to destroy something that is built, throw the grenade of sex into the relationship foxhole and see what happens. You will not only hurt the other party or faction, but you will ultimately hurt yourself!

What say you?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Can your potential mate do these 2 things?

2010-09-22T20:20:00.003+01:00

Amerie released a song a few years ago called “1 Thing”. It is a jam and I love it (Especially the video...she is a hottie!!). I wish there was a male version called “2 Things”. I don’t ask too much from a woman. I don’t ask for sex or presents. I do not ask for money or for her to pay any of my bills. I do not ask a lady to let me borrow her car or for her to come to my house and clean it for me. I won’t ever ask for those things because I can take care of myself. Isn’t that what a man is supposed to do? Isn’t that what a responsible adult (notwithstanding gender) is supposed to do?

I have read many descriptions to illustrate a woman as being “good”. I am sure we have all heard the spill that she or he may say that she or he is “good”. They will say “I am a good woman/man!” These individuals will swear up, down, left, right, north-northwest, south-southeast that they are “good”. It is from my experience that these self indulged “good” men and women are stating and living a farce. I only ask a woman for 2 things in a relationship…time and honesty!

Allow me the time to get to know a lady and spend time with her. How do we inter-act when we are alone or our in public? Is her attitude the same or does it switch? I feel that the time aspect is important. IS the person that you want to consider someone as your mate a person that will willingly give of their time when you ask them to? This goes beyond the “booty call” hours of the night and early morning. Think about that the next time you ask a potential mate to go out, chill, or hang out.

Some people do not ask for honesty and they wonder why they are fooled or not clear as to where they stand in a courtship or relationship. Ask for honesty! There is nothing worse than going into the situation of getting to know someone and the reason why something did not work out is because YOU did not ask for the person to be honest. That also means that YOU must be honest. Do not ask for something in a courtship or relationship that you do not bring to the state of affairs.

IF these self-righteous “good” men and women are so “good” why can’t they do two simple things that I ask for? Why can’t they do the two simple requests that I am sure that THEY ask for? Is it because they do not have the fiber to ask for something that they think since they are so “good”, they do it anyway? Are they more in love with the thought of being so “good” that others who try to mate with them will automatically think they bring the time and honesty aspect to the forefront? I am not sure what it is, but I know for a fact that “good” people do not have to prove how “good” they are. It is obvious! No questions have to be asked…but it is always good to make sure you are asking for what you want, rather than to ask for what you expect!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

The Winter Boo Sweepstakes!!

2010-09-21T18:47:00.003+01:00

The fall season is soon approaching and the weather will twirl from hot, to comfortable, to chilly, and then to cold! We all know in the dating world and dating scene what that means. It is time for…”The Winter Boo Sweepstakes”!

When the summer flavor approaches its end, there is always an influx of men and women that want to get their cuddle on as well as their guaranteed Thanksgiving feast, Christmas gift, and New Year’s Eve “Box Spring Boogie”. It is not a surprise (at least to me) that those men and ladies that were not as attractive in the warmer months become the sexy trigger in the colder months. I find it fascinating. Why does this happen? Why is it the same cycle every year, every season, the same occurrence?

What say you?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

GO 49ERS!!!!

2010-09-21T14:29:00.004+01:00

ENOUGH SAID!!!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Don't go on "The Biggest Loser"! Try my weight loss plan!!!

2010-09-20T20:44:00.003+01:00

Set the stage for this. You have numerous contestants that apply or whatever process is used to determine their eligibility to appear on a show that will essentially help them to lose weight. I am guessing that they leave their employment, either bring their family or leave their family, stray away from their homes for months to appear on a television show that will for all intents and purposes help them to lose the weight that they have been trying to lose for years.

When these people appear on the show they compete to see who has lost the most weight. This competition is done either on an individual or on a team level. There are prizes and perks given to those that reach and over achieve their weekly goals of how many pounds lost. This motivation whether it is health, money, competition, wearing the clothes they have always wanted to wear, sexual attractiveness, etc. is the motivation behind their weight loss.

Are you kidding me? I have been over 400 pounds and the only motivation I had to lose weight was that I did not want to die. It was not a factor of money or the thrill of competition that motivated me. This type of show was not even thought of back in 2000! I remember when I watched the show for the first time. I saw these overweight and obese individuals walking up an escalator that was going down. They continued to walk for hours on end, until they were not able to move anymore. A winner was deemed and then they received a prize and great laudatory remarks from everyone in attendance. I can’t clearly recall but some were on the escalator for at least 3 hours and it was for a monetary prize or an all expense paid trip. This bothers me because there are plenty of obese persons on the planet and in the U.S. that I am sure have applied to be on this television show, and were denied for whatever reason. Next, why entice people and try to increase ratings exploiting the struggles that these individuals and families have had with weight loss? Have we really reached that low?

If I could produce a pilot television program just like this show that I am speaking of, that all could learn from my tips wherever their locale, I would change the way people were selected by choosing at least 100 people that were no less than 50 pounds overweight per television season. If you follow my plan wherever you live, I am sure you can adapt it to your locale and be successful! I would then take them to New York City, maybe on the outskirts of Harlem and have them live in a home. I would then tell them that they can eat whatever they want whenever they want. There would be some rules regarding this such as:

1. You must leave the house by 7:30 AM EVERY morning.
2. You are not allowed to take a cab to go anywhere.
3. You must walk everywhere you go.
4. You must drink as a minimum 200 ounces of water a day.
5. You are only allowed to take the subway as transportation.
6. Everywhere you go must be at least 50 stops away from Harlem
7. You must visit at least 3 museums or attractions a day from all boroughs.
8. Fundamentally you must WALK WALK, WALK, and WALK, EVERYWHERE!!

I can almost guarantee you after 2 months of this; you will see the pounds melt off of people that happen to follow my proposed plan. I don’t know but it seems that this type of action would get these folks losing weight with the quickness. Take that television program in question!!

What are your thoughts?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Keep on walking, in your HEELS!!!!

2010-09-20T18:05:00.004+01:00

I will not deny my hate for flops! Yes flip flops and sandals of any kind. I have a friend that wears what I call her “battle sandals”. They look like she is a part of the Greek army and about to go fight some war! I always tell her that I will not be seen with those hideous looking things on her feet. She gets away with it telling me her feet hurt and on and so forth and that they are comfortable when walking to and from the subway. That explanation I can understand, so I said just buy a pair of walking sneakers! RETIRE THE BATTLE SANDALS!!

I also hate flops. They are shower and jail shoes to me. I have been to amusement parks when people wear those ugly things and the soles of their feet are just dirty and filthy. Then these same filthy feet people want to get on the water rides…YUCK! I will not ride the water ride, or go into a pool with people that have been walking ALL DAY (or night) with dirty feet!

I had to get the latter out of the way. Now that it is gone let me explain my point.

I am sure I am not the only man that enjoys a woman walking in heels. Ladies, stop telling men how much they hurt your feet and such. STOP IT! We men deserve to see you looking and walking in your best at all times! Truth be told, heels are much better for your feet and back than those tacky ass sandals and flops, but I digress.

I enjoy seeing a sexy, professional, sassy, chic, woman walk in heels. (I don’t like seeing the “my feet hurt walk”…but it is funny!!) I have another friend that transforms into her beautiful, sassy, switch that ass walk when she is wearing her heels and secretly when she walks like that, it turns me on! I think she knows it but I don’t say a thing to her about it. I am sure many men are turned on either overtly or covertly by women walking in heels, but why in the ham sandwich must you ladies wear those damned flops and tacky sandals ANYWHERE and especially to the club out of all places? I saw this action done recently when I went to a club and I almost chocked on my Corona! LOL

All I can say is that IF ( and that is a very big IF) I get married, I will give my wife a credit card account that I will pay for in which all she can do is buy heels and purses (yes I know they must match that is why I added that stipulation). She had better not buy food or a damn drink with that card. It is for the aforementioned and that’s it! I can not have my wife walking around with a shoe game that is not tight. She can fund her own clothes and such, but the shoes and handbag, I will make sure that is paid for!

What do you think?

Should men take an active stand to make sure that his woman wears what the man and woman both like?

Men, would you do this for your wife?

Ladies, is this request of leaving the flops and sandals alone a legitimate request?

What say you?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

LADIES...Stop being stubborn and listen to your friends!!!

2010-09-20T13:41:00.003+01:00

I wonder why many ladies put themselves through the B.S. they say they do not want to contend with with regards to relationships with men. Friends both male and female have advised a lady person to leave a no good man alone. They have advised that the man is not for her.

The man in question has told the woman that she is immature, silly, nosey (when asking about his discreet phone calls and whereabouts), bothersome, etc. She still calls him and answers his phone calls, asks her friends for advice and she gets pumped up with confidence and determined to leave the man alone...only to go right back into the same rut of messing with a man that has said and shown that he does not want her...(well maybe want her for sex and sex only)!

I do not understand when all of that has been presented and is plain to see, why a woman would continue to go forth and recycle the pain over and over again? Sooner or later the cycle will end in more pain and anguish than it was in the beginning.

So the question I ask is this...why do you do ladies (for the most part) discount the good and sound advice from friends and elect to endure the wrong doings of a man that ultimately has no concern for her?

I love You, But God Loves You More!

The Adonia Effect!

2010-09-17T19:41:00.004+01:00

I remember that I was as scared as I could be coming from a world that was not corporate into a world that is corporate. I came from working in a classroom and a lab, to working into an office setting...including gaining my own personal office, not a classroom/lab. I met up with Adonia in Chicago early last year and I tried to play it cool about my new job and the opportunities/responsibilities that I had just earned. I told her..."I did not know how to handle it". By "it" I mean the money aspect, the corporate card, and basic business "world" and "acumen" regarding the new employment I earned.

When we fast forward to the present, it seems like it was ages ago that we were in Chicago. That fear of "it" has subsided because of the "Adonia Effect". When we were in Chicago I was acting cheap and frugal! I will admit I was very worried about my finances to the point of being damn near crazy. Adonia happened to remind me that you get what you pay for, and that I should not deny myself experiences and learn how to assimilate into this new corporate life. I think she has done a very good job. I am still the frugal person that I have always been (or should I say fiscally responsible?), and I have learned to treat myself and that bills will always be there to pay, savings were meant to be spent in the long run.

I have realized that you get what you pay for. I have realized that good food, that is fresh and prepared with meticulous diligence will cost money (and not have any seasonings on the table). So I owe that to her. She in a matter of a few days broke me out of the habits that I had formed being an underpaid teacher. So here is to you Adonia...a glass of Moet in a plastic cup! LOL Okay a crystal wine/champagne glass!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

Get Me Bodied!! What does it do to you?

2010-09-17T14:47:00.003+01:00

I went to a party last night and (in fact I want to include all parties and clubs that I have gone to) and they play Get Me Bodied! I don't know what happens, or what entity takes over their body, but the ladies dance in a way that is so damn invigorating. I am not the biggest Beyoncé lover (her body, looks, and music), however she did do a good job with this particular song. I have seen women of all shades and shapes just get wicked when they dance to this particular song.
I wonder if someone could compile a video that displays what I am talking about.

If you are a lady and you are reading this, please chime in and tell me what does this song do to you?

If you are a guy reading this, am I right about this song?

I have included the video so some of you ladies can dance as you read this entry! LOL

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Want to borrow some money? Try this method...

2010-09-16T18:03:00.003+01:00

The best method to borrowing money is to not borrow or lend it at all. I do not know why people like to ask me for money but I will say no. If they are my friend I will say no. If the person is my enemy of course I will say no! If I do not know the person and they ask me on the street corner I will say no! I do not know why people ask their friends for money FIRST knowing that it can ruin a friendship. I know me, if I don’t get my money back; I am taking them to Court, no questions and no hesitance from me. I will do it in a heartbeat. I will save my friendships by not lending out or asking to borrow money.

Take a look at this a little further and you will see what I mean. Someone may ask you for a $300 loan. Now this person is $300 in the hole and asks you to lend them this amount to get them out of the hole. Consider the following:

o When will the person pay you back?
o How long will it take them to pay you back?
o What frequency will the money be paid back? Installments? Lump sum?

These answers may vary, but they are critical to your saving your friendship.

Let us consider another option. We have seen the numerous commercials for pay day loan establishments that will lend almost any amount to someone that has a job. Why does the person requesting the money not go there? Consider this:

o The requestor must provide a pay stub, physical address, banking information, etc.
o The requestor must pay the loaning establishment the money back PLUS interest in a lump sum.
o If the requestor does not pay the loaner the money back, they can garnish their wages; pursue legal action, etc.

When you look at it, it would seem that if a person wanted to borrow money from you that they might be trying to pull a fast one or try to fool you. I don’t know but it does look odd to me. I would rather sustain my friendship and not loan the money than to risk it and potentially end a friendship because a loan was not repaid or paid in an un-agreed, slowly paid fashion.

There are other ways to look at this; I just chose the few that I have encountered. What would you do?

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

The Crossroads!

2010-09-16T13:35:00.001+01:00

I realize where I am in my life at this date and time. I tell you I have had this anxious feeling for a while and it is not as jubilant or as great as people may think it is. I can not complain about my life and the way it is at this point, but it seems that after I made a decision to voice my frustrations and took a stand on figuring them out and facing them, I have had a huge weight lifted from off of my shoulders. Not only is my standpoint an anxious feeling, but it is one of wonder and a little of fear. I am usually in tune with what my next move whether large or small will be…such as going back to school to earn my PhD, or buying a house, but something in me has said stay put and just wait. Something inside me has said just be patient and do not move too swift.
I recognize this feeling and disposition as being at the “crossroads”. This is not a bad thing, but my analytical mind is trying to figure out what to do with uncertainty, when I don’t need to really do anything. See how confusing that last statement was? I also feel that if I do not do anything about my “crossroads” dilemma that I might be missing out on something. You can’t miss what you never had right? I suppose that the former is moot. I deduce that I am at peace with the way things have been going as far as my situation is regarded and where it is headed. What I will be doing in 6 months I have no clue. What I will be doing in 1 month I have no idea. All I can do is continue to do what I have been led to do…be patient…and not move too hasty. I have to continue to pray as well, that always helps! Let’s do it!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

She is He and He is She!

2010-07-29T20:24:00.003+01:00

I have noticed in the past several days that the trials in the dating life that I am enduring and have endured, women have as well. Why is this a surprise? Because I have ALWAYS thought that women have had the upper hand in this whole relationship game. For the most part I still do, but maybe they have been the recipient of the same mess I have been though…just on opposite side of the gender gap.

I can admit that I am not ready for a relationship, but I am ready to mingle and see where things can go. Knowing the latter means a lot, because for the first time I am able to actually say that I should not be in a relationship, because I will probably mess it up, try to impress her and get mad that she is not impressed by my actions and words, hook up with a chick because she wants something that I am not giving...like money, or just for miscellaneous reasons. I really need to get myself together before it is too late. I can say that I have some pretty cool female friends that listen to me and that I do not group them into the same category as all other women, but it takes time to get them there…remember I don’t trust anyone.

This is a process and it may take a long while. This does not mean that my sexual activity will subside…maybe it will, but I know and I have made it known (as she has also) that we are just doing this for our own purposes. I know it is not supposed to be like that, but I might change my mind. Maybe the introduction of sex into anything messes it up. We shall soon see, but I now have a clearer understanding that men and women do each other dirty, BUT I still believe women have the advantage. Until I meet a woman that can change my mind (and I probably won’t) my view will stay the same.

I Love You, But God Love’s You More!

It's Time!

2010-07-27T16:47:00.002+01:00

There comes a point when you realize that if you don't do something to stop the bleeding (no pun intended), end the madness, recognize and end the pain, that it will kill you or destroy you. I have made the first step today. I am very close to going over the edge, if I haven't already, so I am going to do something about it and at this point I don't really care what anyone might think...even those of you who are reading this. I understand that I am one of the smartest people in the world, yes I am a genius, but then I should be able to recognize that I can not do this alone any longer. I also realize that I am the person to blame for some of this and that I have let it go too far, so I have to stop it. I have to be the one to make the changes and make things better.

It has been years and years of of me taking it and just letting it settle in me. The it being pain, anguish, hurt, dispair, and now add anger, anxiety, and of course depression. What makes me happy? I know that music does. There is nothing like being on stage and performing. Chemistry, I hate to say it right now is not making me happy, it is something that I love dearly, but it is not helping my mental aches and pains. It is not soothing my soul as it should be...so there needs to be an intervwntion before I am no more. I might blog more often than I have in recent months...and we will see how it goes. I do know that I have already mentally prepared and made a change and what I will do on Monday puts my plan in action. So once again I say...it's time!!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

The Re-Introduction!

2010-07-21T14:54:00.003+01:00

I have done a lot of "cutting off" lately. I have "cut off" people, started some new habits, and venturing out slowly but surely. It is a new re-introducing of myself...again. What that means in its entirety I do not know but, it seems I have to do it. As I have written in previous entries I have grown tired of the lip-service people happen to bring...friends and otherwise... and though some may find that I am being negative, I am being realistic. I am really tired of the stupidity and if I don't "cut off" the things that bother me...and don't speak on then I feel I am doing a service of malice to myself! It just brings to mind the humanistic stupidity that we ALL have. There are so many ideas of good and evil, right and wrong, negativity and positivity, with the billions of people on Earth, we just fight and bicker over it to the point of physical violence. I digress. I am entering a new period of re-introduction to the world. I can not say I do not like who and what I am right now, but sometimes a clearer definition without the frills is a good thing.

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Disappointment Appointments!

2010-07-13T14:07:00.002+01:00

I have really had enough of the disappointment individuals throw at you. It is a damn shame. I suppose it is because I have this high standard that I hold people to, and that people want to be separated from others, but I don't do that. Friends get offended when I group them together, but yet I see them as the same. I suppose that is a flaw that I have but it comes back to the point of being tired of disappointment. I wish people would take more responsibility of what comes out their mouth and what they contract themselves to do for others. I think that if that type of action is done in most cases things would be better. We will see though, we will see.

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

SNAP!

2010-06-30T16:12:00.003+01:00

I find myself at the point that I am going to snap. I should preface this by saying that this might be a season thing. I am not a fan of the summer season and maybe that is what this is, but my ability to tolerate is extremely shorter now than it has ever been.

If there is one thing that is probably my most recognizable trait (other than my intelligence) it is my skepticism. I have explained in previous blogs my distrust for people, but one way to really get me angry is to not keep your word! I have been brought up that all you have in life is your word and that you should honor it at all times. If there is something you can not do then you should tell the person you told that you could do something that you can't, and then have the courtesy to offer another solution or a way to be able to meet their request. Unfortunately, some folks on this Earth (if not the vast majority of them) have not learned that lesson. That is one way to get me to cut you off and never speak to you again...is to not keep your word. I do understand that things may come up and arise that a commitment can not be made...then say so! Say it either before or after, but say something. I am sure some asshole will say, "I don't owe you and explanation!", when in fact it is the opposite. You do not know what the other party has done to try to meet your request or something that was done that was dependent upon your action either large or small. Explain something! It is a damn shame that folks can not do the simple shit and expect a large reward in return, or any reward for that matter.

Another reason that I am about to snap is the way folks just want to get in touch with you either initially or otherwise when they want or need you for something. Now why call, text, e-mail someone out of the blue to ask them something when you can not even do the same just to see how that person is doing. Folks then wonder why the other party is skeptical because they were not paid any attention to or asked anything until the requester of the favor decided to come to you in a candy coated fashion and ask you to do something for them. Why do that?

I have been a recipient of this on many occasions and I wonder why do people do that. Then another question comes to mind, if I am not able to grant your request who else will be or could have been asked? Interesting how people come and say that you are the only one that can help them knowing damn well that there are others, that probably told the requester no by other folks and decided to give you a try because you are the fool. I am considering the request that was made to me as I type and I do see some shadiness in it. The more I think about it the more I smell bullshit!

If you think this blog is one of complaining...no it is not one of those but it is one to put folks on notice and also a reminder to myself. This blog could also be used by someone in the same situation (although I doubt it) as I am in with the shadiness of people and at my breaking point! If you feel that you are in this dilemma...CUT THOSE PEOPLE OFF!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

Same Shit...Different Toilet!

2010-06-25T18:03:00.003+01:00

I have noticed that many women will say that they are different from other women. That they are not as bad, trifling, scandalous, and so on and so forth...(they claim). I know for a fact that those statements about not being as bad as other ladies are a lie. If you ask most men they will tell you the same thing. I don't believe it unless I see it and hear it at the same time. It is not possible for me to believe otherwise! I will even be as bold to say that my own mother had the same tendencies that make women the deceitful and blood sucking creatures they can be!

I will not try to cut corners in my statements. I am not one to try to escape what I have said based upon my relationship with them and of who they are. I am wiling and able to give credit when it is due and to also admit when I am wrong. I have met many women and they seem to be cool at first...the "representative" is in play at that time, usually the beginning. As soon as the "representative" vanishes...same shit, different toilet woman shows up...that is when she feels she has done what she is supposed to do to fool you into believing she give a damn about you! I have yet to see and meet a woman that will honor her word, and act with integrity and dignity amongst other qualities and sustain them as their way of life. Am I holding my breath to see it...no I am not, but I can not and will not be surprised. There is a reason this shop is closed for business...because the customers were never satisfied!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Another Reaction!

2010-06-21T17:09:00.005+01:00

I will say that I spent most of my weekend at home and crying. I will not lie that my mind has been racing since I read the depositions of the surgeons that worked on my mother. I will say that it is a mess...but I am not too concerned because I am confident of the result being in my favor. As I have said before I have looked in the eyes of many people and seen them for what and who they truly are. I am a good judge of character and I feel that God has put that in me...heck someone has put this quality in me. Those surgeons...well God bless them but I am sure that the are haunted by the questions of what they did wrong and what they could have done to save my mom's life. I can't think of or about what they are dealing with..that is their own cross to bear and for them to discuss with God.

I know that I have been chosen by God to go through the hard things. I am not saying I have had it the hardest but I find it cool that God is like...Hey, Clint can deal with this and I will see him through...he is that tough. I have made Clint that way. I have made him understand that his reaction should not be typical. I have made him to understand that he should hold still and wait on his God to see him through. JUST WAIT ON GOD CLINT!

I suppose that is why I have the patience that I do. I have high expectations and a high level of patience...and people may not see that, but I do. So I will promote to you, that if you are "going through it" sit back and have another reaction. One that is not so common but one that makes sense...that is not emotional...one that is thought out and then just WAIT!

Even though someone is sweating and out of breath does not mean they won the race. Sometimes the race is won by those who have no sweat on their brow and are breathing easy!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Red Dollar Days!

2010-06-15T17:24:00.003+01:00

I have encountered Red Dollar Days, not from the perspective of having it (because I never will) but as the recipient of the attitude and outright disrespect that is given to a man when a woman has Red Dollar Days...yes her period. Don't get me wrong, I will never understand nor experience the pain and agony of that "time of the month" but when there is a grand opening and the Red Dollar Days start, I am sure a woman can learn how to control her attitude and the manner in which she treats people...especially us innocent men! Please stop the insanity of telling us men how you hate the way we breathe, how we walk, how much we get on your last nerve, how messed up in the head we are, how we (you fill in the blank,) and ask for a pass because of Red Dollar Days, I do know us men have our moods and yes, we men can control those as well. If you feel that you can not get a handle on your actions and emotions during your cycle...tell us that you need some time to deal with it and we will leave you alone and ask you to just get in touch with us when you feel better. That is all I ask. Don't use us men as a target for your aggression and then rationalize it because of your period. It is not right. I might catch a lot of attitude for writing this from a woman that just might be on Red Dollar Days! LOL

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Punctuation

2010-06-15T00:52:00.002+01:00

Questioning the imperative
I pondered the questions
Interrogative declarations
Enhanced the statement
It called for a pause
Before I ran on
I demanded an interpretation
With exclamation
About your sensations
Meticulous questions
Became my friends
Your enemy until the surrender
It was just a fragment
Incorrect grammar
Your period
My question mark
Caused the comma
Pause
Before I ran on again
Sprinted away
The period finally came
Exclaims the end

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Delayed Reactions!

2010-06-14T19:53:00.002+01:00

I purposely did not write up here on the one year anniversary of my mother's death. It would be too typical to do that especially living in a place that always denotes the years when a major event happened, or something awful that occurred on a particular day and time, year or month, I am not doing that. I will say a few things. This first year was difficult, but I know it could have been much worse. I am thankful for all that she has taught me and I do feel I will be better as the years go by.

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Bitch - Inn

2010-06-14T18:25:00.002+01:00

Talk about changes

Isn't that life

Look at the seasons

None of them repeat twice

Don't try to be clever

Within your pain and strife

You can only bring yourself down

There are no lip prints

On your heart

No evil kisses

That has torn your soul apart

Do you remember?

What was done to you shouldn't last

You can only bring yourself down

Throw it away

The somehow and how come

Nothing left to say

What was has already been done

Can't be your own fool

When it is you that you will lose

Depression is not a tool

And guilt trips aren't a cruise

Check out of the bitch - inn

Sometimes you can be your only best friend

Until you begin again

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

Got Opinions?

2010-06-08T15:32:00.003+01:00

I was called conceited. I was called unattractive/ugly. I was questioned as to why I am a genius (notice I left out the words "consider myself"). It has been said to others and myself that I am arrogant, aloof, stubborn, and etc. I have been called silly and a clown. I have been mentioned in passing as one who is wise and talented...intelligent and straightforward. I suppose I could go on for eternity but I want to make sure that what I am about to say is very clear, and you can also tell others the same thing when they have opinions and non-complementary thoughts about you.

Tell those people this: Your opinion and the words you say about me do not and won't ever affect me enough to change who I am. There is an opinion from someone that is more important than yours and my job is to please that person. I am a genius because I was made and told that I am a genius. I am very attractive and pleasant on the eyes because I was made that way. I am arrogant, because I am loved by someone that will ALWAYS love me for my aloof nature, my stubborn disposition, my silliness and acting like a clown, my wisdom and talents, and my intelligence and ability to be honest with folks even if it hurts them. I am what God made me to be and until your opinion outweighs His...I will not stop being who I am and loving it!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Ladies...your biggest relationship flaw!!

2010-05-26T21:13:00.003+01:00

I have said this time and time again and I suppose I need to make it more clear. If you want to have a good relationship or determine if a guy is into you...DON'T! You will hurt your own feelings. Ladies, you have to change your thinking if you want to be successful in your courtship. The worse thing to do is to believe that every single man you meet, that you might go out with, have dinner, go to a movie, and so on...is a man you will be with or have as your boyfriend. You can not think that way. If you had dinner with a man, just think of it as...dinner with a man. He may have an interest and you may as well, but he is not obligated to you and vice versa. Do not put the cart before the horse, if he is into you, you will know it. Do not force spending time with him or demanding more communication, those facets of friendship will progress if it is meant to be. If not, keep it moving. The main thing to keep in mind is that you should not look at things for what they could be, but rather as what they are! Do not look ahead...look at what is in front of you and measure along that standpoint. It will save you some pain and agony. It will also not waste your time!

I Love You But, God Loves You More!

UN-INTENTION-ON!

2010-05-24T16:03:00.005+01:00

I noticed your fine brown frame walk past me as I was sipping my Long Beach Iced Tea…
I will admit that you did caught my eyes again from across the room but I didn't want to stare…I know how rude that is…
But I saw the way that the glass that contained your Mohito…reminded me of me…sweating in front of you as you were about to kiss the straw for a tantalizing taste
The kissed seemed like an instantaneous lifetime when I watched you...after I licked my lips from the essence of my beverage
Was it your purpose to do to me what you did…
I truly don't want you to choke...or even disturb your pallet from its comfortable status of cool
It's not my purpose to have that affect on you
I honestly didn't know that Issaey Miyake was your favorite fragrance on a man…
But tell me how did you know that DKNY Be Delicious was my aromatic aphrodisiac... especially on you?
It wasn't my intention to craft your panties to look like the shammy from the car wash on Richmond Highway.
When was the last time your panties were that wet?...soaked?…super saturated?
The last time was probably when you did your laundry…but I am sure it isn't water that has made them as soaked and as wet as they are now!
It wasn't my intention-on to have on a shirt that was open slightly to show a peek of my chest…(and a little hair too)
I didn't know you enjoyed that…but then again I was just taking a sip of my Long Beach Iced Tea from across the room.
I assure you that it wasn't done maliciously...really it wasn't… to have to wonder what was in my mind when I caught that peek of you… and these several peeks thereafter
Tell me...
Did you ponder about my intellect…could I please you with my mind…could the dendrites in your brain exhale from a man that can…and definitely will…challenge your thoughts…and yearn for your tongue to contort and speak…
ears itching to listen to sweet sounds of knowledge…from an educated black man…(we are in abundance sistas?)
I wonder how many college courses did you grace with your opinions and sense…
What do your co-workers say about you and the way you smile even when someone gets on your damn nerves… as you say sweetly and lightly under your breath…I wish a muthafucka would!...or…I'm about to take of my stilettos and shoe whip a bitch!
I also wonder about you as you take another sip…
your body moving and swaying in a syncopated motion to the music
making me rise and want to explode inside of you…
Did you think about the way I held my glass as I sipped my Long Beach Iced Tea?...Did you mentally take a measurement of my hand…Did you try to look at the length and width of my fingers…would it fit tightly inside of your…"glove"…
Would it provide for you the satisfaction
Imagining the way I held the glass would be the way I would hold your ass when you would sit on my lap?
Did you consider whether or not my arms were comparable in dimension, to the length of me...would it be able to penetrate deep inside of you to the point that every movement up and down…in and out would… touch your sexual faucet ever so slowly and make your juices, your pleasure…your purity rain on my wand?
Damn I wish I could be the straw in your Mohito right now…(imma leave that alone…but you get my drift)
Sexiness in all aspects is what I can say about you...the curve of your shoulders…the glisten in your gloss (keep it poppin')…the curves of your breasts…the definition of your ankles…smoothness of your thighs…the streaks of color in your hair…the taste from your oven…your olive garden…your natural elixir…
It was un-intention-on to make your nipples harder than Vector Calculus…as I purposely took a long sip of my drink…and lick my lips...looking at you hoping if you knew that I could taste you in my drink…or so I wished to…
I yearned to take you into my shower and indulge in the flavor that dripped off of your body…I needed you to melt slightly…behold you flavor…I begging and urging you to cream…tasting your cum all over me…
It wasn't my intention to look at a goddess of your caliber at the same time I was sipping a Long Beach Iced Tea…but I did
You have to believe me...un-intention-on!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

The Answers To All Questions!

2010-05-21T16:47:00.004+01:00

Whether you believe it or not, every question has an answer…sometimes it is not what you may want to hear, or what you expect, but all questions have answers. Consider the latter to be a thought you should keep in mind when you ask why someone does something that seems unfathomable to you or that doesn’t not make any sense (to the sane at least). If you happen to think of the question or even ask that question then you understand what my life has been like…and I do mean all of it. I have this amazing blessing that some are not blessed with (it doesn’t make me more blessed than others) I just recognize my blessings and try to make sure I am thankful for them and use them in the best way possible. I know I have the blessing of favor, but what I am also able to see is that I have been blessed with the ability to endure!
Why am I the way I am? I have seen the ugly side of the human mind. I have seen and felt first hand how underhanded and sneaky people can be. From family members lying out of their lips saying how much they love you, to a church denying you monetary help because you have not helped them monetarily. I have seen it. I have felt it. I have seen a woman used by a man just for her money and then leave when the gig was up…no more money to gain. I have seen the hypocrisy of those church going Christians. I have endured the mistakes that others make when you trust them to do the right thing, the best thing, and just walk away denying their mistakes. I have seen it, felt it, breathed it, and lived it. Yet and still I continue to endure and move on.
One of the best things that comes out of this blessing is not just the favor that is granted by God to understand and know that all will be alright after you have endured, (see Job and see Joseph) but the ability to have patience and visualize that large picture in the presence of the people that just don’t believe you can move on in spite of their negativity (see Nehemiah and see Jesus). To understand me and all that I have seen and encountered means that you have to go through the process of enduring, patience, and visualization. The aforementioned leads me to the book of Galatians and the “fruits of the spirit” which are love (got that), joy (got that), peace (getting there), patience (too much), kindness (I don’t like to admit it but I am), goodness (I try to be), faithfulness (got that), gentleness (sometimes), and self-control (a whole lot of that). I truly believe that these are the facets of our gifts and our blessings. We are prepared in different ways to attain these and when we do, that is when we know the “meaning” of our lives.
This brings me back to where I started. Whether you believe it or not, every question has an answer…sometimes it is not what you may want to hear, or what you expect, but all questions have answers. So when you have asked and thought about that question you want an answer to, and think you don’t have an answer as to why people do such horrible things…you have an answer. I will help you…just say I DON’T KNOW, but I am sure in time…I will have an answer that you will want to know!

I Love You But, God Love’s You More!

I saw "reality" and I changed the channel!

2010-05-14T18:02:00.001+01:00

I don’t mean to do it, but sometimes I am curious because I have heard a lot about it from friends and also Facebook status messages that stem from such stupidity as, For The Love Of Ray J.(he and those women are young, dumb, and full of…), to Tough Love (your relationship is that bad you want the world to know and some fool cursing at you and telling you how dumb you are…yeah you are dumb), to Basketball Wives (rich by marriage and circumstance bimbos that have nothing better to do than be rich by marriage and circumstance bimbos with a camera recording their oh so pitiful lives), to The Real Housewives of…you fill in the city (BAFOONERY!!), to The Apprentice (don’t these people know how to retire out of the spotlight and be happy), to Bad Girls Club (Let me see, these girls are so bad that they get to show the world on television how bad they are? Pitiful!), to Survivor (…of what?), to What Chilli Wants (her washed up career back…her ass should want that)…WHO THE HELL CARES! I watched one episode and I am sickened that these people have such affluent lives in the bank account, but such sorry ass lives when it comes to living.

For example, why in the world can’t Ray J. date a woman at a time (or 2 or 3) like us normal folks do? Must this idiot have 20 women living together in a house at the same time and making them endure ridiculous competitions to find out who he wants to be his lady? Do not say he must take these measures because of his celebrity status and wealth that he has to do this bullshit. On the real, (and not hating) if he was all that great and famous of an entertainer, he would not be doing a damn reality show.

Why are these “housewives” (you fill in the city) trippin’ off of petty shit? One “housewife” is bickering because some other “housewife” said something about her and it was not true. Another “housewife” is complaining because she wants to go to Italy but there are no more first class seats. Then another “housewife” who is not married is wearing an engagement ring given to her by a man that is already married (not separated…none of that)…and she wears it with no reservation! Stupid!

Then I watched out of curiosity the basketball wives show and I am about to vomit in my mouth. They shop, drink, and talk just about…wait for it…wait for it…wait for it…EVERYDAY! They have some real issues huh…typical more money more bullshit to me.

Chilli, do you really expect to find a man when you are just as uptight, stuck up, and lost as the people who drool over your show? Go back and sing a song, make an album, make a pizza. It is awful!

These reality shows are sick to me and make me so glad I am not rich and miserable. I am comfortable, blessed, drama free, and happy. These people are just the epitome of sad. It is comical…enough to put on a weekly show. The reality is their sad state of life! I hope you can watch it and laugh I just can’t look at this crap at all…put on some cartoons and live like a kid again!!

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Gender Justice

2010-05-13T19:49:00.003+01:00

The change in gender roles in relationships is more apparent now than I can recall. There was a time in which us men were the emotional unavailable, the wall that no one could penetrate, not willing to communicate, out for sex and sex only, not willing to express our feelings, and out for just doing the bare minimum for a woman and everything for our own benefit. Those days are still here but there has been a major shift away from men towards women from what I can see. The ladies are the Players and not ashamed of it and more men are in the role of the ones who want commitment and honesty. What the hell has happened? It sounds like gender justice to me. The one thing a man (or woman) does not want to reckon with is fairness. It seems that the unruly deeds that us men were used to inflicting upon women are coming back to bite us everywhere. If a man lies to a woman and does her dirty...we should expect the same to happen to us...that is fairness...gender justice. The fairness role is in various aspects of life but I feel it is a fear that everyone has, especially in relationships. A rule I would extend to anyone who wants to be or is currently in a relationship would be the following: If it is fair that the result of someone else's actions happens to you in return...then you had better believe that it is fair if your actions make it a result for someone else!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!

Picking the Scabs

2010-05-12T16:42:00.002+01:00

What does my kiss mean to you?
Does it help to ease the pain you still go through?
What visions appear in your mind when you touch the scars?
Is it an infectious stain of infatuation that you masked in the dark?
I know I may mean nothing to you...maybe just a friend
Another potential cut, a laceration that hurts with no end
If your feelings grow, I'd wish to be the ointment used to sooth
So if you label this...then I offer these directions to you
Take time to let the images fade
Let time take the anger away
Everyone is not your lover, nor do they intend
And when love is done you have no obligation to begin again
What did love mean to you?
Was it a helpless, selfless thing that you sought to make brand new?
Reminders of mistakes and hasty decisions aren't very far
Refreshed memories arrive when I touch the scars.

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

Should I Be Offended?

2010-05-11T15:40:00.003+01:00

A young lady that I met not too long ago called me and inquired of my relationship status, in which she already knew that I am single and not really looking. She proceeded to ask me questions concerning children, and of course I said that I am indifferent about it. If I got married (which I am not) I would then embark upon starting a family if my wife also agreed. So my friend then asks me if I would date a lady with children. I replied that it depended on the age of the child, how many children the woman has, the presence of the father, and some other factors that escape my mind at the moment. So she then tells me about her friend who is divorced and is looking to meet a nice guy (me nice? LOL) and that I came to mind. I then ask my friend, "Okay, so what's up with the prerequisite questions?" She then explains the following to me:

1. Her friend is divorced. (Yeah she told me that.)
2. Her friend is looking for a nice guy. (This is like the Springer show I am waiting for the rock to fall.)
3. Her friend is 33 years old. (LA LA LA..just singing in my head.)
4. HER FRIEND HAS 4 CHILDREN - BUT HER EX-HUSBAND...THE FATHER OF 3 OF THE CHILDREN...IS STILL ACTIVE IN THE LIVES OF THE CHILDREN. (That's a deal breaker for me.)
5. The children range in age from 4 to 12. (I really stopped paying attention.)
6. She is a very attractive woman. (My ears went into a small amount of deafness.)

My friend then continues to tell me how nice her girlfriend is and so on and so forth and that she thought I would be a nice guy for her friend to get to know. I said no. I was a little pissed off by that point and just got off the phone with her. I felt offended and in shock that someone would even have the impudence to think that a single man with no children who has never been married, would entertain a situation as I have explained above.

My question is would you be offended that a friend of yours would try to set you up or consider you a match with someone that is divorced with 4 children, and you have not experienced their lifestyle at all?

I Love You But, God Love's You More!

The Box Spring Boogie

2010-05-11T15:27:00.002+01:00

I can admit that it has been a long time since I did the box spring boogie. It is not that I can't organize a time and date to do it with a lady that I desire, but sex really has not been a priority. Work and overcoming the residue of my mother's death is more pressing, but I can admit when the hormones are raging...and the urges are starting to creep and creep into my brain and then into the rest of my physical anatomy and then it has to be released, and I will tell you that the lady that is the recipient of the box spring boogie had better tape her health insurance card to her forehead because it is going to be extremely physical. She might have to be medically cleared before she can return to the box spring for more with me. I am not going to hurt her or anything like that, but I can say that the experience will be one of a pleasurable nature and well I hope the box spring will hold up!

I Love You, But God Love's You More!

The Pink Panther

2010-04-28T22:04:00.002+01:00

I know that I’m looking at you in our retrospect
Strangely these days
Please pardon my flabbergasted facial attitude
Sometimes I know you want to call
Other times I wish I could call as well
But to be realistic
I can’t control the head-prints of others on your pillow
I can only control mine
I continue constantly reminiscing about when you would whisper in my ear
Inviting me to take part in your honey tasting opportunities
Then our mutual taste testing episodes would proceed
So sweet, gentle, and satisfying every time you entered my domicile
Unfortunately those days and nights are gone
Dreaming that they were still around
Playful pleasing and tasteful teasing
Quenching our desire was always fun

Now I hear from some of our mutual friends…
Hmm…
So you 2 met at the party the other night
Now you have found someone new
I’m not hating, but I never thought that in the
Company of your girls you would ever feel this way
I thought that you only play with toys that don’t break
Do you remember me?
You never had to worry about changing or charging the batteries
The pulsation was never controlled by a calibrated setting
Your wrist won’t ever suffer carpel tunnel syndrome
Never will I be jealous, I know you love what I have
I’m much wider, longer, and stronger
Your artificial male, your pink panther
Could never replace me!

I Love You, But God Loves You More!!